
SI CAL CROTCHETS 




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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 




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MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 




Darkness 


TO 

Light. 



PRINTED BY 

CARLON & HOLLENBECK 

INDIANAPOLIS. 


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Copyright 188S, 

By H. J. SCHONACKER. 
All lights rfeflcrved. 


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magft fern bie Sd^ritte lenfen- 
®er ^eimatl) aud^ nergeffen gar, 

(Sin §er 5 inirb Seiner ftet§ gebenfen — 
(Sin §er§ fo tren! ®in §er 5 fo tua^r! 

®n 33orn ber SieB’, o 9 }Jntter^er 5 1 
(So tren, fo ftart, in grenb, in Sd^mer^!*' 








PREFACE. 


That music has been created for a purpose 
no one will deny. Its special mission is to 
bring peace and good will on earth and make 
men and women better. If an effort to lessen 
the number of the world’s unfortunates shall 
meet with some degree of success, the author 
will feel amply rewarded for this tribute to a 
pure woman, wife and mother, who has pre- 
ceded him to her eternal rest. 

In issuing a second edition of “ Musical 
Crotchets,” and adding a new title, I have 
deemed it just to offer a few explanatory re- 
marks ; it was after reading Mrs. Anna Ag- 
new’s book “ From under the Cloud,” in 
which she gives, in a straightforward man- 
ner, her experience of the loss of her mental 
powers, her treatment at the Insane Asylum 
and her final recovery. 

The mental suffering which she endured 
can only be fully appreciated by one who has 
had a similar experience. I only regretted 


II 


one part of her book, where she blames the 
Almighty for all our suffering, and declares 
having lost faith in Him, or any person, and 
that she don’t miss the absence of it. 

It was for this reason that I resolved to offer 
my experience in the form of an Allegory in 
order to counteract the fallacy of her assertion. 
There is no love more sacred and enduring 
than that born of sorrow ; no friendships purer, 
no sympathies more sincere and deep. It is 
only through this channel that we obtain 
“ Compassion’s supreme strength and purest 
wisdom’s power.” 

I am a firm believer in a God in whom 
we live, move and have our being. He is a 
merciful and loving Father and we are His 
children. 

I remember only one instance when I cor- 
rected my daughter’s disobedience to her 
mother. I shall never forget her astonished 
look and how she cried as if her little heart 
would break. She could not understand that 
it pained me a million times more in giving 
her a few slaps, and that the punishment was 
vastly greater to me than to her. 

I believe that this principle exists with the 


Ill 


Father of us all, and that it pains Him infinitely 
more to punish us than it does ourselves. 
There was, also, one question which my 
daughter frequently asked. Why? which her 
mother, who was patience personified, as 
frequently answered. 

Who has not been perplexed with such ques- 
tions as. What is Truth? Why are there so 
many creeds? Why is Christianity divided 
into so many different warring sects? 

. I could wish a person no more terrible pun- 
ishment than the torture which these questions 
have given me. When we have once thor- 
oughly learned the lesson taught in the fourth 
chapter of Matthew, we have obtained a knowl- 
edge of the Truth — when we have learned to 
realize that anger, envy, indolence, intemper- 
ence, impurity, jealousy, pride, regret and 
vanity are only different forms of Insanity ; 
and when we have once been cured by the 
Great Physician there is this difference, that 
we are not left without Hope. 

Those who have had a true Christian ex- 
perience can appreciate the benevolent in- 
fluences which a United Christianity would 
exert. Until we Protestants unite in admit- 


IV 


ting that Matrimony is a Divine ordinance 
from which there is no Divorce, and that no 
number of laws that we may enact will justify 
a man in ignoring and deserting his own off- 
spring, the Roman Catholic Church will not 
have fulfilled her mission. 

Until the Greek and Latin Churches learn 
to admit that God alone is Lord of the con- 
science, and that He alone can pardon our 
sins, and that the Power which has been so 
abused will never be peacefully restored to 
them, the Protestant Churches will not have 
fulfilled their mission. 

Until intemperence ceases to exist among 
Christian nations, Mohammedanism will con- 
tinue to flourish. 

Until prostitution ceases to exist in Chris- 
tian nations. Buddhism will endure. 

Until professing Christians cease to be 
Mammon-worshipers, the Jews and Pagans 
will continue to prosper and enjoy the spec- 
tacle of seeing the Crucifix spit upon in our 
-heatres, and the picture of “ Ecce Homo” 
printed in the papers under the caption of 
“ Amusements.” 

Until some of these reforms are effected I 


V 


can remain *only a Christian musician and 
continue to plead for Christian Unity. It has 
been asserted that all music is pure, and that 
to the pure all things are pure and to the im- 
pure all things are impure. There is a vast 
difference between the music which is heard 
in a concert saloon or brothel and the music 
heard in a Music Hall, Church or Home. 
Music was never created for the purpose of 
sending men and women to destruction. Its 
special mission is to sweeten the bitterness of 
Duty, emancipate humanity from bondage 
and elevate them. ^ 

Buddha established a beautiful religion. 
There is nothing more natural than natural 
love. To a materialistic lover of Nature 
Buddhism is preferable to Christianity. 

' Paul Beauchamp representing Buddhism — 
flowers symbolize animate beauty — wedded 
to a model woman representing Christianity, 
symbolizes Buddhism mourning at the grave 
of Christianity. 

Will this be the outgrowth of the struggle for 
the supremacy of creeds? I liave faith in the 
ultimate triumph of Christianity. She will 
prove herself more magnanimous and God-like 


VI 


than Buddha ever dreamed of in .his philoso- 
phy. She will guard his tomb more faithfully 
than Mohammed’s followers are guarding the 
tomb of our Savior. 

Ernest Hirsch symbolizes Judaism con- 
verted to Christianity. I believe that event- 
ually they will find their way through Geth- 
semane. 

Hezekiah Clay — porcelain flowers symbol- 
ize inanimate beauty — is a representative of 
modern society who marry for money. 

The source of more than half of the misery 
of the world is in the crowned heads of Europe. 
This world is too small for two such antago- 
nistic forms of government, as Monarchy and 
Republic, to endure forever. I have faith in 
the ultimate triumph of United Republican 
Christianity. H. J. Schonacker. 

Indianapolis^ May^ 1888, 


CONTENTS. 


1. Counterparts, 

2. A Suburban Party, . 

3. A Country Home, 

4. A City Trio, 

5. Sunday Morning, 

6. A Recluse, 

7. An Egyptian Telephone, 

8. Anvil Chorus, . 

9. At the Station-house, . 

10. Two Funerals, . 

11. At the Green-house, 

12. A Minstrel Performance, 

13. Tempest in a Tea-pot, 

14. Roses, 

15. Oriental Euchre, 

16. Thorns, 

17. “ El Nahual,” 

18. Milk Diet, 

19. Oratorio of the Creation, 

20. A New Minister, 

21. Sunrise, 

22. Retrospect, 

23. Separation, . 

24. A Big Blaze, 

2$, Reunion, 

26. Finale, 


7 

II 

17 

35 

49 

55 

63 

75 

83 

89 

95 

103 

109 

121 

129 

143 

153 

177 

181 

191 

199 

207 

237 

243 

249 

253 




MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


COUNTERPARTS. 

EAR the city of Chicago there is a lit- 



1 ^ tie village known as Hazeldel, which 
numbers about nine hundred inhabitants. It 
was surveyed and laid out into small plats for 
country homes by a florist, Paul Beauchamp, 
through whose artistic taste and talent a wild 
and barren waste was metamorphosed into an 
immense flower-garden. 

Paul inherited his natural inclination and 
love for flowers from his grandfather, a court- 
gardener to Napoleon Bonaparte ; he lived in 
a little cottage at the outskirts of the village, 
surrounded by every conceivable variety of 
exotic plants, with his wife and two children, 
Amalie, a girl of four years, and Pip, whose 
real name was Clifford, but whom Amalie had 
more appropriately named Pip, a baby boy of 
two months. It was amusing to see Paul be- 
stow nearly as much love on flowers as he 
gave his wife and children, but this can be 


( 7 ) 


8 


musical crotchets. 


accounted for when we take into consideration 
his ardent admiration for Buddha and firm 
belief in the transmigratipn of souls. He had 
a pet name for every plant, would talk to them 
as if they possessed understanding, and re- 
minded one more of a mother caressing her 
first-born than the manly, brawny, muscular 
Hercules that his appearance suggested. His 
outward appearance would suggest to the 
stranger only a large, healthy and strong 
farm hand ; one principally occupied with 
horses and the plow. An innate lover of na- 
ture, one of his peculiarities was to get up at 
three o’clock during the early summer season, 
breathe the intoxicating ether and note the 
celestial panorama. 

Toward the central portion of the village, in 
a more pretentious dwelling, lived Hezekiah 
Clay. Mr. Clay was employed as salesman 
in a queensware establishment in Chicago. 
He formerly lived in New York, came West, 
made the acquaintance of an heiress, married 
and became one of the shining lights of the 
village. In appearance Hezekiah was the 
exact counterpart of Paul. Of slender and 
graceful form and regular features, Hezekiah 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


9 


patronized the most fashionable tailor, and 
altogether presented a handsome appearance. 
An enthusiastic admirer of the classics, he 
early in life arrived at the conclusion that 
“knowledge is power.” He held peculiar 
views regarding commerce ; was of the opin- 
ion that if you have but one pig to sell to force 
your way to the middle of the market. To 
a certain extent he was successful. It was 
known, however, that he did not live very har- 
moniously with his wife. On one occasion, 
preparing for a party, his wife decorated him 
with a buttonhole bouquet, which he furiously 
tore from his bosom, threw it to the ground and 
stamping the insensible love-token under his 
feet, declared in tragic tones not excelled by 
Salvini, that he was no woman. She, with 
true Christian fortitude, bore patiently his 
idiosyncracies. 

It is, therefore, not surprising that two such 
natures as Paul and Hezekiah could be any- 
thing but antagonistic. Paul could not un- 
derstand why his inherited occupation should 
be crushed by the caprice of an intolerant 
tyrant ; there was nothing that he understood 
and loved so well as flowers, and as long as 


lO 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


there were enough men and women who would 
merely give him the bare necessities of life for 
himself and family, he was determined to con- 
tinue life as a florist. 


A SUBURBAN PARTY. 


I N the early part of October the village of 
Hazeldel was in a flutter of excitement 
in anticipation of a party to be given at the 
residence of the Hon. Esau Cain, a retired 
merchant. Mr. Cain served two terms in the 
State Legislature, and thus legally acquired 
the title of Honorable. 

The novelty of the entertainment was the 
triple celebration of the anniversary of his 
marriage, the birth of his daughter Rosamond, 
and her debut into society, she being just 
of age. 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain made every 
preparation to make the affair prove to be the 
event of the season. A band of music was 
engaged, the house illumined from attic to cel- 
lar, and festoons of Chinese lanterns lighted 
the wa}^ for the approaching guests. 

Miss Rosamond Cain, a brunette of tall and 
graceful figure, presented a most charming 
appearance in her exquisite dress from 
Worth’s. She but recently returned from 
(lO 


12 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


the central part of Ohio, where she graduated 
with honors at a seminary for young ladies. 

The Hon. Mr. Esau Cain, the Hon. Mrs. 
Esau Cain, and their daughter. Miss Rosa- 
mond, were stationed near the door and 
received their guests in a right regal manner. 

Prominent among the guests were Mr. and 
Mrs. Hezekiah Clay, Dr. and Mrs. Archibal 
Granger, Mr. Enoch Chase, a wealthy farmer, 
Mrs. Aramintha Chase, Miss Eleanore Chase, 
their duughter ; Domine Dinkskirchen, the 
village parson ; Ernest Hirsch, a recluse ; 
Alfred Marquette, a gentleman of leisure ; 
Mr. Nicholas Meloman, a distinguished pian- 
ist and composer from Chicago, who but 
recently arrived from St. Petersburg, Russia ; 
and Mr. Eugene Fairbottom, a noted elocu- 
tionist and lecturer on topics of beauty, from 
London, England. Mr. Eugene Fairbottom 
proved himself to be the lion of the evening ; 
he advocated reform in dress— found a num- 
ber who approved of his view^s, but did not 
have the courage or independence to adopt 
them. After he had recited, in a most pathetic 
manner, “Bingen on the Rhine,” Miss Rosa- 
mond requested Mr. Charles Meloman to favor 


MUSICAL. CROTCHETS. 


13 


them with some music. Mr. Meloman selected 
Beethoven’s “Sonata Appassionata,” being 
under the impression that he was in the 
society of American connoisseurs. 

Domine Dinkskirchen now approached the 
piano and requested Mr. Meloman to play 

a jig* 

For a moment Mr. Meloman felt confused, 
felt as if he had touched the wrong end of a 
galvanic battery, instead of the keys of a 
responsive piano ; but being naturally of an 
obliging disposition, he began playing a very 
lively jig ; after which he asked the Domine 
if he recognized the tune, and was answered 
in the negative. Mr. Meloman then, in a 
most fascinating manner, requested the Dom- 
ine to listen very attentively and tr}^ to ascer- 
tain if he had ever heard the jig before — now 
gradually retarding the tempo until changing 
from an allegro to an adagio, the familiar 
tune of “ Old Hundred” was recognized. 

The Domine took occasion just then to go 
into the library, where Ernest Hirsch was 
amusing himself with Darwin’s Descent of 
Man. 

Alfred Marquette nearly exploded with sup- 


H 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


pressed laughter, and, to change the subject, 
requested Miss Rosamond to favor them with 
a song. Miss Rosamond, however, preferred 
singing in a duet, and as Alfred possessed a 
very agreeable baritone, they selected Abt’s 
“What Makes the Spring.” 

After the first verse, they found themselves 
surrounded by all the guests. The Domine 
returned ; even Ernest Hirsch dropped his 
Darwin, yielding to an indescribable inward 
yearning to be nearer the place from whence 
those ravishing strains emanated. 

The Hon. Mr. Esau Cain, and especially 
the Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain, presented a picture 
of paternal and maternal pride worthy the 
brush of Henry Mosler. 

The duet was a success. There are times 
and conditions and places when a simple strain 
of music, well rendered, makes an indelible 
impression upon the memory ; at least so 
thought Mr. Ernest Hirsch when contemplat- 
ing the face of Miss Eleanore Chase beaming 
with rapturous joy and seeming to reflect his 
most inward emotion. 

Miss Rosamond rose from the piano and 
approaching Miss Eleanore, succeeded in per- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


15 


suading her with a few earnest solicitations to 
also favor them with some vocal music. To 
this request Miss Eleanore responded in a 
very creditable manner with “ Sweet the 
Angelas.” 

The little pleasantry between Mr. Melo- 
man and the Domine won for the musician an 
ardent friend and admirer in Dr. Archibald 
Granger, who quietly took in the situation, 
although he gave no outward sign, as he 
held his profession in such high esteem, and 
his sense of propriety forbade him to make 
himself appear rude or ridiculous ; he found 
himself, however, planning some method by 
which to induce Mr. Meloman to be at least 
part of the time in Hazeldel. 




A COUNTRY HOME. 


M r. ENOCH CHASE lived about four 
miles from Hazeldel in a palatial man- 
sion. Mrs. Aramintha Chase was a great 
admirer of Doric architecture and had suc- 
ceeded in persuading her husband to adopt 
her plan when building. It was owing to this 
fact that their residence, which, under ordi- 
nary circumstances, would have presented 
the appearance of a comfortable farm-house, 
reminded one very forcibly of a miniature 
United States mint. 

The avenue leading to their home was lined 
on each side for fully a mile with maple trees 
and Lombardy poplars, forming in some places 
a complete arch. 

Their farm, consisting of three hundred 
acres of the most fertile and rich soil, was pro- 
vided with all the modern improvements. 

Mr. Chase was an ardent lover of art and 
literature ; thoroughly American in his inter- 
ests and feelings and a self-made man. Years 
ago he arrived at Chicago with fifty cents in 
money and a small bundle of wearing apparel. 
2 (17) 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


i8 

This was the extent of his earthly possessions. 
He walked all the way from Kalamazoo, Mich- 
igan, as he did not have enough money to pay 
his fare. After thoroughly canvassing the city 
for several days in search of employment he 
finally found a situation in a tin shop. Here, 
through the faithful discharge of his duties 
and close economy, he accumulated sufficient 
means to purchase his employer’s interest, 
who had for some time given more attention 
to drinking than to business. 

Becoming tired of city life and hearing of a 
desirable farm which was advertised for sale, 
Mr. Chase bought his present homestead. It 
was then two years since he married the eld- 
est daughter of his former employer. 

At the farm for the first two years he worked 
as hard as any of his farm hands. Mrs. Chase 
proved herself a good wife and helpmate. She, 
however, took a secret delight on some occa- 
sions in reminding her husband of the fact 
■that he had at one time been one of her fath- 
er’s workmen. She could not understand why. 
her husband should give so much attention to 
books. She believed books were only in- 
.tended for professional men. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


19 


Mr. Chase conducted his farm on scientific 
principles. What he did not know about 
farming was not worth knowing. Twenty 
acres of his farm, formerly considered worth- 
less land, he converted into a thriving peach 
orchard. 

Miss Eleanore was their only child. She 
was the idol of her parents. Her father was 
deeply devoted to her, and resolved to give 
her every opportunity for mental, moral and 
social advancement. Eleanore was one of 
those delicate, affectionate and sensitive crea- 
tures that require sunshine and pure air in 
abundance. Had her parents remained in 
the city and attempted to bring her up like a 
hot-house plant, it is doubtful if they would 
have succeeded. 

As a bareback rider, little Eleanore was 
not excelled. She would go into the pasture 
holding a large piece of sugar, call Rozinante, 
whose pedigree could be traced to the early 
days of Kentucky, and after permitting him 
to eat the sugar from her little hand, she 
would suddenly mount and then ride over the 
country like a wild Indian over the plain. She 
was also fond of climbing trees, but one of her 


20 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


most healthful recreations was to join a num- 
ber of neighboring farmers’ children and 
amuse herself by the hour making mud pies, 
and then proceed to a sand pile where they 
would place them to be baked in the sun. 

Her favorite occupation during these happy 
childhood days was the care of chickens. 
Two little chicks, who were deserted by their 
mother, became especial objects of her love 
and sympathy. Had the old hen been capa- 
ble of understanding the scorching rebuke 
that this young child expressed, she woul4 
have returned and clucked for the little ones 
to come under her wings. 

At the age of thirteen Eleanore was sent to 
a young ladies’ seminary at Philadelphia. 
Her parents gave her sufficient instruction at 
home, so that she was fully as far advanced as 
girls of her age generally are. She gradu- 
ated and won especial distinction in the stud- 
ies of history, botany and the French and 
German languages. 

Returning home, her parents, with a view of 
finishing her education and furnishing their 
new home, took her abroad. In Brussels 
they purchased their carpets, oil paintings in 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


21 


Dresden, grand piano in Paris, books in Lon- 
don, ornaments in China and Turkey, and 
stereoscopic views in Switzerland. 

While at Dresden they became acquainted 
with Mr. Albert Rosenbusch, a naturalized 
German-American, from St. Louis, Missouri. 
Mr. Rosenbusch was engaged in the fur trade, 
and returned to Dresden to visit his widowed 
mother, who was living at her brother’s home. 

Mr. Rosenbusch, from force of habit, vis- 
ited the different hotels nearly every evening. 
It happened that one evening at the “Artists’ 
Home,” while looking at the register, he 
noticed among the arrivals the names of Mr. 
and Mrs. Enoch Chase, Chicago, Illinois, 
U. S. A. 

Mr. Rosenbusch, through years of expe- 
rience as a commercial tourist, did not regard 
introductions as a necessity, and immediately 
asked the clerk if Mr. Chase was in. The 
clerk pointed toward the veranda, where an 
elderly gentleman, wearing a broad-brimmed 
hat, was seated in an arm-chair, smoking a 
cigar. 

Mr. Rosenbusch was soon at his side and 
remarked : 


22 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“I beg pardon, sir, but I understand that 
this is Mr. Enoch Chase, of Chicago, 111.” 

“Yes, sir! but I have no recollection of 
ever seeing you, sir ! ” 

“ Permit me to present you with one of my 
cards.’ 

“Albert Rosenbusch, St. Louis, Mo. Happy 
to meet you, sir. Glad to see some one from 
my own country. Smoke? — ” 

“ Don’t mind if I do. I am here for a short 
time on a little visit to some of my relatives. 
I was born here, but went to America when a 
mere boy, with an uncle who lives at St. 
Louis. When old enough I became natural- 
ized, and now, though born here, feel as if I 
were in a foreign country. Have been trav- 
eling for some years for my uncle, who is 
engaged in the fur trade, and have hopes of 
being admitted, on my return to St. Louis, as 
the junior member of the firm. I frequently 
go to Chicago. What business are you 
engaged in, and in what part of the city do 
you live?” 

Mr. Chase now removed his feet from a 
chair on which they were resting and ten- 
dered it to Mr. Rosenbusch. He drew Mr. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


23 


R.’s attention to the fact that his cigar had 
gone out and handed him another match. 
Mr. Rosenbusch expressed thanks and relit 
his cigar. Mr. Chase then continued : 

‘‘ I live twenty-five miles from Chicago, but 
it is only a question of a little time, sir — a lit- 
tle time — when the city of Chicago will be 
three hundred miles in length by two hundred 
miles in breadth. It is destined to become 
the largest city in the world, sir — in the world, 
sir. What is your opinion of Seward?” 

“I don^t exactly catch on, and can not see 
any connection between Mr. Seward and 
Chicago.” 

“There is none. I only wanted to draw 
your attention to Mr. Seward’s diplomatic 
achievement. I had in mind his purchase of 
Alaska. I thought it would be to your inter- 
est to be posted in matters relating to the 
fur trade.” 

“ I am certainly very much obliged to you, 
and if you will excuse me, I will be pleased 
to meet you again. I have an engagement to 
fulfill.” 

“Will you do me the honor to dine with 
me to-morrow, sir?” 


24 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“I shall only be too happy to accept your 
hospitality. Good night, sir ! ” 

‘‘ Good night, sir ! ” 

The following morning Mr. Rosenbusch 
hastened to the public library to inform him- 
self regarding the history of Alaska ; he read 
with the most concentrated attention and re- 
flected in amazement at the vastness of the 
territory and of its possible future. “From 
its extreme north to south it is i ,400 miles in 
an air line, or as far as from Maine to Florida, 
and from its eastern boundary to the end of 
the Aleutian islands, 2,200 miles on an air 
line, or as far as from Washington to our west- 
ern frontier. The island of Attu and the end 
of the Aleutian chain, is as far west of San 
Francisco as Maine is east, so that between 
the extreme eastern and western sections of 
the United States San Francisco is the great 
central city. Or, take another basis of com- 
parison : Alaska is as large as all New Eng- 
land and the Middle States, together with 
Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, 
Kentucky and Tennessee combined, or as 
large as all the United States east of the Mis- 
sissippi river and north of Georgia and the 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


25 


Carolinas, or nearly one-sixth of the entire 
area of the United States. It has a coastline 
of 18,211 miles, or nearly twice as much as 
the Atlantic and Pacific coast lines of the re- 
maining portions of the United States. The 
total area of territory is 578,000 square miles. 
It was purchased from Russia by the United 
States in 1868 for $7,500,000, and the name 
of Alaska, which was previously restricted to 
the peninsula west of the Aleutian islands, has 
been extended to the former Russian America. 
The islands reach an elevation of about 4,000 
feet and are covered with a dense o:i*owth of 
large timbei . Spruce and yellow cedar trees, 
four to six feet in diameter and one hundred 
and eighty feet in height, are found through- 
out these regions. The principal commercial 
value consists of its seal fisheries, of which 
product six million dollars worth are annually 
exported, and there is every reason to believe 
that it will some day surpass California, Mon- 
tana and Arizona as a gold and silver pro- 
ducing country. The climate in the southern 
portion is moderate, the thermometer never 
falling below 31° in January or rising above 
58° in August. The population consists of 


26 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


430 Russians, 2 foreigners, 1,926 creoles, 
5,800 Koloshian or genuine North American 
Indians, and about 2,500 Esquimaux. Num- 
erous other tribes of Indians inhabit the in- 
terior of the territory. The Aleuts resemble 
more the Chinese or Japanese than the North 
American Indian. They are docile, honest, 
industrious and very ingenious ; the women 
of Unalaska have always been noted for the 
beauty and variety of their needle-work. Al- 
aska is the region of the highest mountain 
peaks in the United States. The coast range 
of California and the mountain range of Col- 
orado and Montana unite to form the Alaska 
mountains. This range, instead of continuing 
northward to the Arctic ocean, as the old at- 
lases represent, turns to the southward at the 
upper ramparts of the Yukon, extends through 
and forms the Alaska peninsula, and then 
gradually sinks into the Pacific ocean, leav- 
ing only the highest peaks visible above the 
water. These peaks form the Aleutian chain 
of islands. The islands decrease in size, 
height and frequency as the mountain range 
sinks into the ocean. Unimak, the most east- 
ern of the chain, has that magnificent volcano, 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


27 


Shishaldin, 9,000 feet high ; then Unalaska, 
5,961 feet; next Atka, 4,852 feet. There is 
also a glacial region. From Bute inlet to 
Unimak pass nearly every deep gulch has its 
deep glacier, some of which are vastly greater 
and grander than any glacier of the Alps. On 
Lynn canal is a glacier computed to be 1,200 
feet thick at the “snout” or lower projection. 
Alaska is covered with hot and mineral 
springs, and its varying climate makes a re- 
sort for certain invalids. Some of the springs 
are already noted for their curative qualities. 
There are sulphur springs, boiling springs, 
and all kinds of springs. The boiling springs 
have long been used by the natives for cook- 
ing purposes. A lake strongly impregnated 
with nitre is found on Beaver island. There 
are more miles of navigable rivers in Alaska 
than in any other portion of the United States. 
There are immense valleys where crops may 
be raised ; coal and lead mines, and it will 
not be many years hence when Alaska will 
have railroad connection with Florida.” 

Mr. Rosenbusch, fortified with this informa- 
tion, now proceeded to the “Artist’s Home.” 
He found Mr. Chase at the office awaiting 


28 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


him. Adjourning to the ladies parlor, Albert 
was introduced to Mrs. Chase and Miss El- 
eanore. Mrs. Chase received him very cor- 
dially, extending her hand and assuring him 
that it was a most delightful pleasure to meet 
some one from America. Miss Eleanore sim- 
ply bowed. Mr. Chase now suggested to 
descend to the dining-room, and when, dur- 
ing the dinner hour, the subject of Alaska 
was again referred to by Mr. Chase, Mr. 
Rosenbusch felt that he was not quite so great 
an ignoramus as he had been the preceding 
day. 

Mrs. Chase expressed her opinion that it 
would have been better if, instead of Alaska, 
the United States had purchased Canada, 
while Miss Eleanore would have preferred to 
have seen Mexico annexed. 

Mr. Chase, however, approved of Mr. Sew- 
ard’s wisdom ; advocated the purchase of the 
whole of British North America ; predicted 
that the future rulers of America would come 
from the North, where the climate is more in- 
vigorating and conducive to long life and 
manly strength. He had a poor opinion of 
the emasculated dreamers of the tropics. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


29 


Miss Eleanore defended her preference by 
arguing that the rule of brute force was one 
of the exploded theories of the past, and ac- 
cording to her view it was not beneath the 
dignity of a man to be an ardent lover of flow- 
ers, music and the fine arts. 

Mr. Rosenbusch concurred with Miss Elea- 
nore, and added that as a source from which 
to obtain the commodity in which he was 
dealing, Mr. Seward had proved himself a 
wise statesman in effecting the purchase of 
Alaska. 

The following day Mr. and Mrs. Chase and 
daughter started for home. Arriving at New 
York they purchased their furniture, leaving 
only a few minor details to be bought in Chicago. 

Shortly after their return from Europe, Miss 
Eleanore was seated in the library at their 
country home, reading Ruskin’s Sesame and 
Lilies, when she was suddenly interrupted by 
Bridget coming into the room with a card 
bearing this inscription : 

ROMEO HOPSING, 

Piano Tuner ^ 

Chicago, III. 


30 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


which she handed to Miss Eleanore and at 
the same time, in her Irish accent and brogue, 
remarking : 

“An’ shure, mum, there is a man outside, 
who gave me this bit of paper and told me to 
be so koind as to give it to yees. An’ faith, 
he looks more loike a Spanish duke than a 
pedler wid his satchel. I told him that we 
didn’t want to buy anything, when he says to 
me, says he, that he hadn’t anything to sell.” 

“ Of course not ; he came to tune the piano. 
Tell him to come in.” 

Miss Eleanore conducted Mr. Hopsing into 
the parlor and requested him to tune the piano 
to the “ dee-ah-pah-son ” pitch. 

“You mean the French pitch. I should 
judge from the manner in which you pro- 
nounced the word ‘diapason’ that you had 
been in Paris.” 

“Oh, yes, I am continually making these 
blunders.” 

Mr. Hopsing found the piano badly out of 
tune. Nearly one-third of the keys failed to 
respond to the touch. As he was taking out 
the action, Bridget came into the room and 
announced Mr. Albert Rosenbusch. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


31 


Mr. Rosenbusch gave as a double reason for 
calling, Mrs. Chase’s very cordial invitation, 
and the fact that he had some business mat- 
ters to attend to in Chicago, and, being so 
near, concluded to just drop over. Presently 
he noticed Mr. Hopsing in the rear parlor, 
almost hid from view. He then began to 
speak German. 

Mr. Hopsing was opposed on principle to 
eavesdropping, but here he was placed in a 
position in which he could not help feeling 
guilty, to a certain extent, as he thoroughly 
understood the German language. 

Mr. Rosenbusch became possessed with the 
strange hallucination that Miss Eleanore had 
given him sufficient reason to believe that she 
thought a great deal of him.^ Miss Eleanore 
endeavored to convince him that she gave 
him no reason to believe that she cared for 
him more than a friend. 

Mr. Hopping now began playing the latest 
sentimental love song. Nothing could have 
pleased Miss Eleanore any better than discon- 
tinuing a conversation which was distasteful 
to her. So, approaching the piano, she asked 
Mr. Hopsing the name of that beautiful piece. 


32 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


Mr. Hopsing replied that it was a cavatina 
from the opera of Romeo and Juliet. 

Miss Eleanore again expressed her admira- 
tion for the music, but doubtingly asked Mr. 
Hopsing if he spoke German, to which he re- 
gretfully replied “ No.’^ 

Mr. Hopsing simply lied and he knew it ; 
but he consoled himself with the thought that 
there are instances when by speaking the 
truth you thereby cause pain, or even mortifi- 
cation — that you were justified in avoiding it. 

Miss Eleanore was not satisfied with this 
answer, as she detected a slight foreign accent 
in one or two words, and now asked Mr. 
Hopsing if he spoke French, to which he 
replied, “ Oui, Mademoiselle.” 

Mr. Hopsing then continued the conversa- 
tion in French, and finally assured Miss Elea- 
nore that she was perfectly excusable for 
pronouncing the word “diapason” with a 
French accent, as she proved herself to be 
thoroughly conversant with the language. 

“ Who is considered the best piano teacher 
in Chicago?’^ 

“We have a number of excellent teachers.” 

“ Who do you prefer?” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


33 


“Mr. Nicholas Meloman.” 

“Oh, yes, I remember hearing him at Mr. 
Cain’s, a short time ago.” 

“Adieu, Mademoiselle.” 

“Adieu, Monsieur.” 

Bridget just happened to be passing in the 
hall when Mr. Hopsing left. When she 
opened the door and Romeo was about to 
leave, he addressed her in her native tongue : 

“Colleen bra, law jess! bannocht ladd!” 
and before Bridget had time to recover from 
her surprise, Romeo had mounted his horse 
and was on his way to Joliet. 

Bridget rushed into the parlor and informed 
Miss Eleanore that “ the Spanish duke was a 
rale Irishman — that he spoke the purtiest 
words to her in rale Irish. The illigant gin- 
tleman — for a shure enough gintleman he 
musht be — he had told her that she was a 
pretty girl, and that we had a fine day, and 
then he bid me good bye and was off in a 
jiffy.” 

Miss Eleanore laughingly remarked that it 
would not surprise her if Bridget’s illigant 
Spanish Irishman would turn out to be an 
Italian Turk. 

3 




A CITY TRIO. 


I N the central part of the city of Chicago 
there was a large building, the upper sto- 
ries of which were furnished as sleeping apart- 
ments for young men. The rooms, wth the 
exception of a few hall bed -rooms, were 
large and commodious, being twenty feet in 
breadth by thirty-five feet in length. The 
building was originally occupied by a firm 
that conducted a large notion business, when, 
after failing, the owner of the property con- 
cluded to rent only the lower fioor for store 
purposes, and to furnish the upper floors as 
sleeping rooms. 

The large rooms were all provided with two 
complete sets of furniture, and were mostly 
occupied by four young men. Altogether 
there were about forty occupants in the build- 
ing. 

One of these rooms on the fourth floor was 
occupied by three young men : Theodore 
Snap, a young attorney, Alexander Wild- 
wood, a journalist, and Romeo Hopsing. 
Each one of this trio contributed something 
(35) 


36 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


toward beautifying the room and making it 
cozy and homelike. Theodore furnished the 
pictures, Alexander gave the lace curtains and 
lambrequins, while Romeo contributed a piano. 

When Mr. Hopsing returned to his room 
he found Alexander Wildwood seated at a 
table writing and Theodore Snap reclining on 
the sofa reading the evening paper. Romeo 
on entering the room burst out laughing. 

Theodore put away his paper and sitting up 
inquired in amazement : 

“What in the world is up now?” 

“ I have a good joke to tell,” answered 
Romeo. 

Alexander gruffly requested Romeo to keep 
it or wait until he got through with his article 
and — 

“Article be hanged, old Socrates!” inter- 
rupted Romeo. 

Theodore now requested Romeo to pay no 
attention to the old brute and begged him to 
tell the joke. 

Romeo then narrated the little deception he 
had practiced on Mr. Rosenbusch and Miss 
Chase. He described Mr. Rosenbusch seated 
on the sofa a picture of abject misery and dis- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


37 


tress, when just as he was about to vomit up 
his sick existence, he discovered Romeo in 
the rear parlor, then recovering himself began 
another subject in the German language, and 
was again betraying evidences of feeling ill 
when Romeo attracted the attention of Miss 
Chase by playing a new love song. Romeo 
then gave a life-like description of Miss Chase, 
how his performance of the new love song had 
liberated her from a distasteful subject ; how 
she had doubtingly asked him if he spoke 
German ; how he felt compelled to lie, and 
how he reassured the young lady through his 
knowledge of the French language. 

Theodore yelled with laughter. 

The sedate Mr. Wildwood stopped writing 
and inquired of Romeo : 

“What right had the idiot to imagine that 
the young lady cared anything for him? ” 

“That is what I could not understand,” re- 
plied Romeo. “I think that he felt that he 
had made himself solid with the old lady and 
presumed upon his having met her in Europe.” 

Romeo then narrated another experience 
with a wealthy young lady who had the mis- 
fortune to be a hunchback and presume upon 


38 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


her wealth. Her overtures, and his returning 
her advances by introducing to her a wealthy 
merchant who also had the misfortune to be a 
hunchback, and who boasted that his wealth 
would procure for him any woman in Chris- 
tendom. 

Theodore Snap, in a tone expressive of a 
tinge of envy, allowed that piano tuners must 
have oceans of fun and opportunities, and as 
if meaning it, said : 

“ I wish I was a piano tuner.” 

“ It is a fortunate thing that you are not, 
with your Don Juan proclivities,” sarcastically 
remarked the sedate Mr. Wildwood. 

Romeo implored Mr. Wildwood to not be 
so severe. 

An idea seemed to have struck Theodore 
Snap, and laughingly turning to Romeo, he 
asked : 

“ Romeo, why don’t you enter the race for 
the young lady’s hand?” 

“Why, you know — 

“Nonsense ! If it were not for music and art, 
this world would be little better than a pig-sty.” 

“What is there to hinder you from making 
the attempt?” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


39 


“Yes,” added Mr. Wildwood, “or giving 
you an opportunity of going to St. Louis and 
purchase a fur cap from Mr. Rosenbusch?” 

“Never mind. Snappy,” consolingly re- 
marked Romeo ; “ some day you will develop 
into a Gammon, and eventually prove your- 
self a successful Quirk.” 

“And then, Romeo, you will* regret that 
you did not take my advice.” 

Here the conversation was interrupted by a 
knock on the door. Mr. Hopsing, being 
nearest, answered the summons. He admit- 
ted Mr. Nicholas Meloman, and greeted him 
with a hearty “good evening.” 

Mr. Meloman replied in French: “Bon 
soir, mon cher ami.” 

“You have met Mr. Wildwood.” 

“ Oui, comment vous portes vous Monsieur 
Alexander? ” 

Romeo now introduced Mr. Meloman to 
Theodore Snap, continuing to speak English. 
It was unnecessary to request Mr. Meloman 
to abstain from speaking French; he knew 
that Mr. Wildwood and Mr. Hopsing both 
spoke the language, and took it for granted 
that Mr. Snap also spoke French. 


40 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


Mr. Meloman assured Mr. Snap that he 
deemed it a great pleasure to have the honor 
of making his acquaintance. 

Hereupon Mr. Snap very cordially invited 
Mr. Meloman to have a glass of Rhine wine, 
as he received a case that day, which had 
been highly recommended. 

Mr. Wildwood suggested to Mr. Meloman, 
while Theodore was getting the bottles and 
glasses ready, to light a cigar. 

“You are very kind, sir. I observe that 
you are very comfortably furnished. This is 
a fine collection of books. Journalists need 
them.” 

“ Certainly, but most of these books belong 
to Snap and Hopsing.” 

“You certainly display a great deal of 
taste in your selection of paintings. This one 
represents — ” 

“The Goddess of Liberty,” replied Theo- 
dore Snap.” 

Romeo jokingly added that it was only a 
chromo. 

“Very true,” replied Theodore, “but to 
me it possesses the additional charm of being 
acquainted with the model, who is a perfect 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


41 


Venus. Now, if you don’t admit that this is 
the best glass of Rhine wine that you ever 
tasted — ” 

“Well, gentlemen, here is to Theodore’s 
Goddess of Liberty,” was the toast proposed 
by ^ir. Wildwood. 

Mr. Hopsing, addressing his conversation to 
Mr. Meloman, informed him that he believed 
he had a pupil for him. 

“ Indeed ! who can it be? ” 

“ Miss Eleanore Chase, who lives near Ha- 
zeldel and said she heard you at Mr. Esau 
Cain’s.” 

“ I remember ; she is rather a delicate and 
very reserved young lady, has very little to 
say.” 

“You would think differently,” laughingly 
remarked Theodore Snap, “if you had been 
here a little while ago and heard Mr. Hop- 
sing’s brief description of her in connection 
with a good joke.” 

“I regret that I did not come sooner.” 

Mr. Wildwood then repeated the story with 
the additional embellishments of an author 
whose imaginative powers were wonderfully 
developed. 


42 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


Mr. Meloman, after enjoying a hearty laugh, 
and having thanked Mr. Hopsing for the in- 
terest that he took in his welfare, narrated his 
little episode with Domine Dinkskirchen, and 
gave an illu-stration on the piano of the man- 
ner in which he changed the solemn and grand 
choral of Old Hundred into a lively jig. 

Theodore Snap again roared with laughter, 
even the sedate Alexander Wildwood joined 
heartily. 

Alexander, after refilling the glasses, pro- 
posed the health of Mr. Meloman’s Domine. 

Mr. Meloman, who bore a striking resem- 
blance to Beethoven, now favored the trio 
with selections from Beethoven, Gottschalk 
and his own compositions ; then rising from 
the piano he bade the trio a very cordial good- 
night, and assured them that it was the hap- 
piest evening that he had passed since he left 
his fatherland. 

After Mr. Meloman’s departure, Mr. Wild- 
wood refilled the glasses and proposed the 
health of the Russian musician ; then passing 
the cigars and lighting a fresh one, continued 
the subject of the conversation which had been 
interrupted. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


43 


‘‘Well, Snappy, you have been regretting 
that you were not a piano tuner ; what would 
you say to being a music teacher? ” 

“Well now, there is too much responsibility 
attached to the position of a music teacher, to 
say nothing of the enormous amount of pa- 
tience and hard work required in order to be 
successful.” 

Romeo Hopsing still regretted that he did 
not possess Theodore Snap’s opportunities, 
and expressed a wish that he would willingly 
change places with him, to which expression 
Theodore replied : 

“Your views are very good in theory but 
very poor in practice. Just think of it, it is 
now six months since I was admitted to the 
bar, and during that time I have earned the 
fabulous sum of thirty dollars.” 

“ That is a ver}^ good beginning.” 

Alexander Wildwood added that he was 
under the impression that Theodore Snap was 
building up a very good law practice. 

Romeo now appealed to Theodore to not be- 
come discouraged and drew his attention to old 
Judge Hazeldel, who scarcely earned his salt 
the first five years of his professional career. 


44 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


To these encouraging words Theodore 
mournfully replied : 

Very true, but that was something. When 
I think of how much my education has cost 
my father, and how I am still obliged to ac- 
cept his assistance, it takes all the feeling of 
manly spirit and independence out of me.” 

Romeo now approached Theodore and pat- 
ting him gently on the back, said : 

“ Now, don’t become sentimental. Be pa- 
tient for only six more months, and if the 
governor should dare to make you feel that 
you are a burden to him, rest assured that 
Alexander and I will see that you don’t lack 
for funds.” 

“ Why, certainly, Theodore,” added the 
sedate Alexander Wildwood, with surprising 
animation; “I am sure that any service that 
I could render you would eventually prove a 
good investment. I am certain that if you 
don’t succeed in ^^our profession, that you 
would make a big success of it as a traveling 
salesman for some wholesale establishment, 
with your natural gift of eloquence, elegant 
address and entertaining qualities. We have 
a number of salesmen who make five thousand 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 45 

dollars a year who can’t hold a candle to 
you.” 

“ Five thousand fiddle-sticks ! ” exclaimed 
Romeo, in a tone expressive of disgust ; 
“What is that, compared to Judge Hazeldel’s 
five hundred thousand dollar fee from the X. 
X. & X. R. R. ? How many years would 
Theodore be obliged to travel to make that 
much?” 

Theodore again reminded Romeo that his 
views were good in theory, but poor in prac- 
tice. 

Alexander cast one of his expressive side- 
glances at Theodore, and, in his deep sten- 
torian voice, said: “I don’t blame Hopsing 
for thanking you, in his peculiar manner, for 
the interest that you have shown him in regard 
to Miss Chase.” 

To this pleasantry Romeo replied : “I did 
not mean it that way. I was seriously in earn- 
est. Nothing would afi'ord me greater pleas- 
ure than to, some day, find Theodore one of 
the most famous lawyers of America.” 

“ Nor was I jesting with Romeo,” earnestly 
replied Theodore. 

“Then why not suggest a different plan?” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


46 

continued the sedate Alexander, throwing the 
stump of his cigar into the cuspador. “For 
instance, have him aim to become the head 
of the largest piano house in the west. You 
know that I am a firm believer in caste ; in 
fact, I sometimes think that the ancient Brahm- 
ins were right in dividing society into four 
different castes. I am opposed to all forms 
of mesalliance.” 

To this theory Theodore laughingly replied : 
“Now, that would be a brilliant idea to have 
society reorganized on the Brahmin plan ; in 
that case, you and I, including Romeo, would 
be classed among the Sudras — the lowest 
order. I hope that you will not succeed in 
filling the earth with a lot of misanthropic 
Schoppenhauers, whose home consisted of a 
dog and a female servant.” 

Y ou don’t know what you are talking about.” 

“Don’t I? Shall I convince you that I do 
by teaching you the Upanishads ? As for mes- 
alliance, I doubt if Miss Chase would prove 
herself to be the intellectual equal of Romeo ; 
she certainly is not his superior.” 

“Then why does the idiot hide his light 
under a bushel?” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 47 

‘‘Thank you, Mr. Wildwood,” approvingly 
responded Mr. Hopsing. 

“He is doing very well,” said Theodore; 
“a few days ago I accidentally learned that 
for the past five years he has been supporting 
a brother and his family of eleven children.” 

“He is a big goose for doing so. What 
right has any man to bring into the world a lot 
of children if he is not capable of taking care 
of them?” 

“ It seems that God makes use of just such 
material to perpetuate the species. If he 
depended upon you pessimists, it would only 
be a matter of a little time for the human race 
to become extinct.” 

“And then, Alexander, what would become 
of your four castes?” inquired Romeo. “Tiiis 
would be one way of disposing of them.” 

“You misunderstand me, Romeo. I think 
it is an injustice to you. What would have 
become of your brother and his family if you 
had married six years ago? You would have 
been old enough then, as you are now twenty- 
eight.” 

“Oh, I suppose they would have gone to 
the poor-house ; but we can not all marry, you 


48 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


know ; besides, I am very well satisfied with 
my single blessedness, and as for having any 
vain ambition for social advancement, let me 
beg of you, Theodore, to give yourself no 
uneasiness. 

Theodore now refilled the glasses and recited 
Martin Luther’s couplet : 

Who loves not wine, wife and song, 

Remains a fool his whole life long. 

The trio then drank to the health of the 
great reformer, and committed themselves to 
the arms of Morpheus. 


SUNDAY MORNING. 


I T was Sunday morning. The tolling and 
ringing of the bells of Hazeldel indicated 
the time of day to be half-past ten. There 
had been a heavy frost covering trees and 
sward and roofs and fences, reminding one 
that winter and Christmas were crawling 
along. The natural beauty of the trees 
adorned in their variegated leaves were en- 
hanced by the sunlight caressing them and 
removing from them the frost, which, before 
yielding to the radiant force, sparkled like a 
million diamonds. 

Domine Dinkskirchen on this particular 
morning was in an unusually happy frame of 
mind. He conceived the idea of uniting the 
four denominations of Hazeldel, which were 
known as the Northern, Southern, Eastern 
and Western, into one grand sect, which he 
proposed calling ‘‘The New Central Creed.” 

One of Domine Dinkskirchen’s most marked 
idiosyncracies was his firm belief that his spe- 
cial mission on earth was to convert infidels. 
He decided to try the effectiveness of his di- 
4 (49) 


50 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


vine ( ?) calling on three persons : ou>r organ- 
ist, Prof. Jacob Abel, for reasons which will 
become evident ; Mr. Nicholas Meloman, 
whose sacreligious performance of Old Hun- 
dred still lingered in the Domine’s memory, 
and Ernest Hirsch, whom the Domine be- 
lieved would prove a valuable acquisition and 
one of the shining lights of “The New Cen- 
tral Creed.” 

The bell tolled its last sound and the con- 
gregation began assembling. Mr. Alfred Mar- 
quette and mother were first to enter the little 
chapel. Outside a few small groups were still 
lingering. Paul Beauchamp and his sister 
Virginia were next to enter the little house of 
God. The Cain and Chase families now en- 
tered, when presently the sound of the organ 
informed those still lingering outside, among 
whom were Ernest Hirsch, that services were 
begun. 

Prof. Jacob Abel, the organist, was a much 
younger man than his bald head would indi- 
cate ; of a happy and genial disposition, he 
won the affection of all the young men in the 
village by entering into all their sports, chief 
among v/hich was that of base ball. He would 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 5 1 

leave his room unlocked while out on his 
round giving violin lessons, and on the table 
he generally had an open box of cigars and 
the latest magazines, which were at the dis- 
posal of his friends. 

Jacob, as the boys usually called him, fin- 
ished the organ voluntary. The choir, con- 
sisting of seven female and five male voices, 
had risen. They began singing. Ten min- 
utes passed. Five minutes more. Still five 
more minutes ; again five more minutes ; al- 
together twenty-five minutes. 

Prof. Abel knew perfectly well that there 
was only one good voice in the choir, the 
others were simply passable. So what was 
lacking in quality he determined to supply in 
quantity. 

During this somewhat prolonged singing by 
the choir, the Domine had ample time and 
opportunity from his elevated position to glance 
at the various faces before him. He recog- 
nized Ernest Hirsch, and had Mr. Nicholas 
Meloman been also present, the Domine’s hap- 
piness would have been complete. He re- 
membered Mahomet’s remark that “if the 
mountain will not come to Mahomet that Ma- 


52 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


hornet must go to the mountain,” and as there 
was no probability of Mr. Meloman coming to 
him at Hazeldel, that he would some day go 
to Mr. Meloman at Chicago. 

When the Domine finished his sermon, he 
concluded the prayer in the following manner : 
“ Oh Lord, we thank Thee that we can sup 
with Thee at the table, and not, like dogs, 
under the table. Thouknowest how distaste- 
ful it must be to have infidels in the house of 
God, especially when they are permitted to 
take an active part in the service devoted to 
Thee. Thou knowest of the many vain at- 
tempts that I have made to convince our or- 
ganist of the error of his ways and to bring 
him to Thee, and should he continue during 
the coming week in his perverted obstinacy, 
wilt Thou in Thy sublime justice hurl Thy 
thunderbolts on him, and instantly killing him, 
make of him a forcible example to others who 
are pursuing the same path.^’ 

The following Monday morning Prof. Jacob 
Abel was the first in Hazeldel to rise from a 
profound and peaceful slumber. Before go- 
ing to breakfast he hastened to the village 
blacksmith and ordered him to prepare twelve 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


53 


small round iron bars, each one to be of uni- 
form length. When these were finished he 
requested the iron pounder to fasten them 
with pliable wires about his person. When 
this was accomplished Jacob presented the 
appearance of a young tree encased in an iron 
fence. He now proceeded to breakfast. He 
had not gone very far when he was met by 
Alfred Marquette, who roared with laughter 
at this unique apparition, and in amazement 
asked : 

“Why, Jacob; what in thunder are you 
doing with all those lightning rods ! ” 

“Well, you see, Alfred, I concluded to 
guard against emergencies. You may re- 
memh^er Domine Dinkskirchen’s prayer yes- 
terday morning, and for fear that there would 
be any probability of its being answered, I 
concluded to provide myself with these light- 
ning-rods and, if possible, prevent so sudden 
and sad a catastrophe.” 

Alfred enjoyed another good laugh and 
went his way, while Jacob, in his present fort- 
ified condition, took a bee line for breakfast. 




A RECLUSE. 



RNEST HIRSCH lived in a somewhat 


antiquated though commodious house, 
near the western border of the village. He 
was of medium height, broad shoulders, light 
brown hair, gray eyes, florid complexion, and 
German in looks, although he did not speak 
the language. Any one making an estimate 
of his age would have guessed twenty-five, 
when in reality he had passed his thirty-first 
birthday. 

A self-made man, Ernest began at the age 
of twelve as messenger-boy in a freight office. 
From this humble position, through the cheer- 
ful discharge of his duties and the diligent 
study of everything that related to railroad 
interests, he was promoted from year to year. 

At the age of twenty-five Mr. Hirsch became 
president of one of the leading roads of the 
East. At the age of twenty-nine he had accu- 
mulated three hunrded thousand dollars, and 
not desiring any more money, concluded to 
retire from business and devote the remain- 


( 55 ) 


56 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

der of his life in cultivating the arts and sci- 
ences. 

While living in the east, Ernest frequently 
received letters and invitations from his cousin, 
Alfred Marquette, to visit him at Hazeldel. 
He finally went, became completely charmed 
with the place, and finding an opportunity to 
buy his present home, concluded that he could 
here live a quiet and studious life without 
leaving civilization altogether. It was now 
three years since Mr. Hirsch came to Hazel- 
del. 

The Monday evening following the Sunday 
when Domine Dinkskirchen invoked the 
Divine wrath, Ernest Hirsch was seated in 
his library, deeply interested in Thoreau’s 
Walden. He would frequently pause after 
reading something original, place the book on 
his knee, and rest his head in the palm of his 
right hand, lost in meditation. A vigorous 
knocking at the hall door restored him to con- 
sciousness. Placing the book upon the table 
and rising slowly, he went to the door and 
was greeted by his cousin, Alfred Marquette. 

“Come in out of the wet. It surprises me 
that you ventured out in such a stormy night. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 57- 

Let me take your umbrella ; put your hat and 
coat on the rack and come in to the fire.” 

“I would rather not go into the fire, if it 
will suit you as well to permit me to remain 
just outside of it.” 

“ I would not have you escape a deluge and 
the fiery elements from without for the sake of 
seeing you burned alive within my home. 
There, have a seat and make yourself com- 
fortable.” 

Alfred, after drawing an arm-chair toward 
the old-fashioned fireplace and screening his 
face with his hands, gave an elaborate 
• description of Prof. Jacob Abel’s novel cos- 
tume and his unique reason for thus equipping 
himself. 

“That was certainly a very good precau- 
tion. Mr. Dinkskirchen seems to mean well, 
but I fear that he is an enthusiast.” 

“ Ernest, I have a new brand of cigar, which 
I consider very good ; try one.” 

“ Thanks. What is the name of the brand ? 

“Henry Clay.” 

“This is an excellent cigar.” 

The two cousins remained silent for fully 
ten minutes, smoking and puffing. Ernest 


58 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

blew large rings through which he sent smaller 
ones. Alfred also attempted this feat, but 
failing, consoled himself by ejecting the smoke 
through his nostrils. They remained silent 
for only ten minutes, but during that time how 
many plans were invented, perfected or ended 
in smoke? The brand of the cigar reminded 
Ernest of meeting Mr. and Mrs. Hezekiah 
Clay at the Hon. Mr. Esau Cain’s, of the duet 
between Alfred and Rosamond, and the cor- 
dial look of recognition and approval with 
which Miss Eleanore Chase met his enrap- 
tured countenance, while Alfred during this 
interval was wondering what had induced 
Ernest to attend church the preceding day. 
He knew it could not have been to hear the 
Domine Dinkskirchen, and if the music proved 
to be the sole magnet, that it would never suc- 
ceed a second time — twenty-five minutes of 
torture — or could it be possible that Ernest 
went to church for no other reason than to get 
another view of the fair Rosamond ? 

Finally Ernest broke the silence by remark- 
ing that he had for some time been seriously 
thinking of establishing a “ Debating Club ” 
where the young people could meet once a 


MUSICAL. CROTCHETS. 59 

week for social and intellectual advance- 
ment. 

“That would be an excellent idea,” ap- 
provingly assented Alfred. 

“ There is a piece of ground in the east end 
which would be a desirable location. I be- 
lieve that for this purpose Mr. Cain would 
willingly donate it. I would agree in that 
case to have a building erected at my expense, 
and donate it to the village.” 

“And call it the Cain-Hirsch debating club? 
Why not buy the ground, donate both and 
call it simply the Hirsch Debating Club ? ” 

“No; I would prefer to have others share 
the honor. I think the name of Hazeldel De- 
bating Club would be best, and, as we are 
discussing the subject, it reminds me that I 
have found something very suitable ; it is from 
Thoreau’s Walden; let me read it fpr you: 
‘ In any weather, at any hour of the day or 
night, I have been anxious to improve the 
nick of time, and notch it on my stick, too ; 
to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the 
past and the future, which is precisely the 
present moment, to toe that line. You will 
pardon some obscurities for there are more 


6o 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


secrets in my trade than most men’s, and yet 
not voluntarily kept, but inseparable from its 
very nature. I would gladly tell all that I 
know about it, and never paint ‘ No admit- 
tance ’ on my gate.’” 

“I see— you would not adorn the entrance 
of your contemplated debating club with ‘ no 
admittance.’ ” 

“Precisely. All questions of a political, 
religious or social nature could be there dis- 
cussed, provided that the parties debating 
always bear in mind that, under no circum- 
stances, will they be permitted to betray mal- 
ice, envy, prejudice, or any vindictive feel- 
ing.” 

“Excellent! But would it not be a good 
idea to have one large room supplied with a 
stage and the necessary equipments for giving 
dramatic performances ? ” 

“A brilliant idea.” 

“Also one room which would answer the 
double purpose of library and sitting-room, 
supplied with tables and various games for 
pastime, such as chess, backgammon, domi- 
noes, etc.” 

“Capital! Capital! I shall have great 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


6l 


expectations from the future Hazeldel debat- 
ing club.” 

“To-morrow I will interview Mr. Cain in 
regard to the ground.” 

“And in the meantime I will write to an 
architect in Boston, whohi I know, and have 
him furnish me with a plan for the building.” 


I 


AN EGYPTIAN TELEPHONE. 

M ISS ROSAMOND CAIN practiced for 
fully two hours the last movement of 
Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Rising sud- 
denly and closing the book she flung it across 
the room, remarking at the same time that the 
piano was not her forte ; then going to the 
music stand she selected a new song, “Wait- 
ing,” which Mr. Marquette had recently sent 
her. Returning to the piano she began sing- 
ing, and had just finished the strain ending 
with the words “Come, for my. arms are 
empty,” when she found herself encircled by 
a pair of arms, and turning around she beheld 
Miss Eleanore Chase. 

The two young women presented a striking 
contrast. Miss Rosamond was a perfect pic- 
ture of health, and looked more like a country 
girl than the city bred girl that she was. A 
brunette, black hair, and flashing dark-brown 
eyes, attired in a wine-colored wrap embroid- 
ered in old geld, she simply looked bewitch- 
ing. 

Miss Eleanore with her fair face, dark-blue 
(63) 


64 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


eyes, light brown hair, pale blue dress adorned 
with a few light pink ribbons, formed a mar- 
vellous contrast. Repeating the last strain of 
the song she echoed Miss Rosamond, “ Come, 
for my arms are empty.” 

“ Why, Eleanore, how you frightened me.” 

“ Ha ! ha ! ha ! did you think it was some 
one else? ” 

“ No, I recognized you by the faint perfume 
of violets.” 

“ Come, Rosie, don’t get up ; please finish, 
and when you get through I have another 
song that I wish you would sing for me.” 

Miss Rosamond then sang “Waiting.” 
Miss Eleanore now proceeded to the hall 
table and returned with “Auf Wiedersehen.” 

“Auf Wiedersehen — why, this is Dutch; 
you know I can’t speak Dutch.” 

“ Goosie, it is only the title that is German, 
the words are English.” 

“ Goodness gracious, what an accompani- 
ment, and in six sharps. If it had only been 
written in flats, I might be able to read it, but 
sharps, and six sharps at that, impossible. If 
you will play the accompaniment I will sing 
it for you.” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


65 

Miss Eleanore, in closing the copy of ‘ ‘Wait- 
ing,” noticed on the right-hand upper corner 
of the title-page the inscription : 

To Miss Rosamond Cain, 
Compliments of Alfred Marquette, 

' She then burst out laughing and said : 

“ Now I see why you were frightened when 
I interrupted you at the words ‘ Come for my 
arms are empty.’ ” 

“You are a regular tease.” 

“Never mind, Rosie, ‘Auf Wiedersehen ’ 
will do just as well.” 

Miss Rosamond then sang Auf Wiedersehen 
very acceptably considering that it was the 
first time. She complimented Miss Eleanore 
on her artistic rendering of the beautiful ac- 
companiment, then going to the other end of 
the room, she picked old Beethoven from the 
floor and returning to the piano requested 
Miss Eleanore to play the Moonlight Sonata. 

Miss Chase was a very proficient pianist ; 
she excelled in technique, but was also won- 
derfully endowed with the faculty of interpre- 
ting the composer’s most inward thoughts. 

5 


66 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


She was conscious under what circumstances 
the composition had been inspired. 

When Eleanore ended the finale, which she 
played in an unusually rapid tempo, Rosa- 
mond, who possessed an ardent and impulsive 
nature, threw her arms around her neck and, 
after kissing her on both cheeks, admitted to 
her that the past week she had been practic- 
ing from two to three hours daily on the last 
movement of the Sonata, but could not see 
that she had made any progress. 

“This ought not grieve you, dear, when 
you take into consideration that what you 
lack in technique you more than supply with 
your vocal talent. You know that I have 
scarcely any voice and sing very little.” 

“ I remember there is only one song that I 
have ever heard you sing, ‘ Sweet the Ange- 
las.' Oh ! you should have seen Prof. Abel, 
last Monday morning, with a lot of lightning- 
rods fastened to him, going through the vil- 
lage.” 

“What on earth did the simpleton mean?” 

“ I understood that he wanted to guard 
against the possibility of Mr. Dinkskirchen’s 
invocation being answered.” • 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 67 

‘‘ He is certainly a very funny fellow, to say 
the least.” 

“Not at all. Papa thinks that he did per- 
fectly right, and did not blame him.” 

Here the conversation was interrupted by 
the Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain coming into the 
room, and after inquiring about the health of 
Miss Chase and her mother and her father 
and given her opinion of the weather, she 
informed Miss Chase that the cook had just 
baked some fresh doughnuts, and would not 
Miss Chase try some with a glass of cider. 
Having delivered herself of these words, she 
seated herself in an arm-chair. 

Miss Chase expressed herself as being 
exceedingly fond of doughnuts and cider. 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain then took a min- 
iature whistle, made of solid gold and elabor- 
ately carved, which she carried suspended 
from her neck, applied it to her mouth and 
produced three shrill sounds. 

Miss Chase's face betrayed astonishment 
she could not imagine what had induced the 
Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain to indulge in this child- 
like performance, and comparing it with Miss. 
Rosamond’s description of the erratic ProE 


68 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


Jacob Abel’s portable lightning-rod trick, con- 
cluded that he was not the only individual 
addicted to strange freaks. 

Presently a colored waiter entered the room. 
He paused at the door and made a most pro- 
found bow. 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain then briefly gave 
George an order for a pitcher of cider and 
some doughnuts. 

George made another very profound bow 
and crawfished out of the room. 

“ I now see,” said Eleanore, addressing the 
Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain, “ for what purpose you 
carry that beautiful ornament.” 

“I observed that you seemed very much 
surprised. You see it is useful, as well as 
ornamental, and is one of my inventions. I 
call it an Egyptian telephone. I used to make 
myself hoarse calling the servants, when one 
day the idea occurred to me that this would 
be a great improvement. I have a separate 
call for each one of my domestics, whom I 
have taken great pains to teach their indi- 
vidual calls and remain within their proper 
sphere.” 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain did not see George 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


69 

re-enter the room, who grinningly was waiting 
at the door for further instructions. When 
ordered to approach and refreshments had 
been served, George repeated his bowing 
crawfish exit. 

Miss Eleanore drank her glass of cider and 
approvingly said : “This is excellent cider 
and then added, “my mother bakes the best 
doughnuts in America.” 

“Have you no cook?” inquired the Hon. 
Mrs. Esau Cain, in amazement. 

“ Why, maumie. What a question ! ” 

“Oh, yes,” replied Eleanore, “but my 
mother likes to go into the kitchen sometimes 
and get up some special dishes.” 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain now produced 
one prolonged, shrill sound with her golden 
telephone. This was answered by Hannah 
entering the room, who also paused at the 
door and made a most ludicrous bow. 

“Hannah, some napkins.” 

Hannah, after making another laughable 
courtesy at the door, hastened out of the 
room. 

“ There is Dr. Granger passing, in his new 
buggy,” looking out of the window ; the 


70 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain continued : “That 
reminds me, he called a few days ago, and I 
learned from him that he is getting up a class 
of pupils, with a view of persuading Mr. Mel- 
oman to come to Hazeldel one or two days in 
the week to teach them.” 

“I hope he will succeed,” said Eleanore, 

for I have been thinking of going once a 
week to Chicago and taking lessons of him.” 

“ I said to him that he could count on my 
daughter for one pupil ; so this will be two for 
him to begin with.” 

“ Why, maumie, you know that I would 
prefer vocal lessons from Sig. Macaroni.” 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain again reached 
for her telephone and produced two shrill 
sounds. This brought Jane, an animated 
young Hibernian, who rushed into the room, 
forgetting to make the regulation courtesy and 
wait at the door, for which breach of decorum 
she was sternly reprimanded by the Hon. 
Mrs. Esau Cain, and then ordered to fetch 
some toothpicks. 

Jane now made her exit in good style and 
soon returned with a silver tray, on which 
there was a small cut glass goblet filled with 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 7 1 

ornamented quill toothpicks. After passing 
them, she left the room, but did not forget to 
make a very low bow. 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain now cast one of 
her reproving glances at Rosamond and said : 
“ Daughter, you know that you can not even 
play the accompaniments of most of your 
songs, and you must not expect to always 
have some one to play them for you.” 

This mild rebuke delivered, the Hon. Mrs. 
Esau Cain again reached for her golden orna- 
ment and produced four shrill sounds. This 
brought Pompey, a young mulatto, who was 
ordered to go to the post-office and see if there 
was any mail. Pompey left in good style and 
excelled the other servants in gracefully bow- 
ing and crawfishing out of doors. 

“ Why, dear Mrs. Cain,” remarked Elea- 
nore, returning to the subject of conversation, 
“ you ought to remember that Rosamond is a 
much better instrumentalist than I am a vo- 
calist.” 

“Very true, my dear, but Mr. Cain does 
not want her to get stage-struck and become 
possessed with the idea that she will surpass 
Jenny Lind.” 


72 - 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“ Maumie, it would not*take many such en- 
thusiastic admirers as Eleanore to make me 
hope to excel even Jennie Lind.” 

After this remark the Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain 
again applied her golden whistle to her mouth 
and produced five piercing sounds. This 
brought in the coachman, who, attired in a 
new livery, resembled a general in the army ; 
when ordered to inform the hostler to hitch 
up the pair of bay horses, he took his depar- 
ture in a very stately manner. 

“ Daughter, after all, what was Jennie Lind 
but an itinerent strolling glee maiden?” 

“ She certainly did a great deal of good, 
and was very kind to the poor,” replied Rosa- 
mond. 

“It must have given her a great deal of 
comfort to be enabled to do so much,” added 
Eleanore. 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain again had re- 
course to the golden whistle, and producing 
six short, shrill sounds, caused another col- 
ored waiter to make his appearance, whom she 
ordered to remove the reminiscences of the 
luncheon. Mrs. Cain then rose from her easy 
chair, begged Miss Chase to excuse her, and 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


73 


as she had heard that Mrs. Hezekiah Clay 
was very ill, intended to drive over to Paul 
Beauchamp’s and get some flowers to take to 
her, and bidding Miss Chase a very cordial 
adieu, started off on her mission of love. 

“What do you think, Eleanore, Mr. Mar- 
quette was here yesterday, and was telling me 
that there was a prospect of Hazeldel having^ 
before long a small-sized opera house, library 
and debating club. Mr. Ernest Hirsch has 
promised to have the building erected at his 
expense and present it to the village if papa 
would donate the ground.” 

“ That would be perfectly splendid. Has 
your father agreed to give the ground?” 

“ Not yet, but I think we can talk him 
into it.” 

“And then to just think that we will have 
an opportunity to appear in opera — for some 
charitable purpose of course — then there would 
be no danger of becoming stage-struck.” 

“ Oh, no ; but I would not say anything to 
papa about it, at least not until he has given 
the ground and the deed has been recorded.” 

“I thought Mr. Hirsch seemed very much 
moved with your singing in the duet ‘ What 


74 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


makes the Spring,’ ” and rising to go, Elea- 
nore added : “I understaijd that he is quite a 
recluse.” 

“Yes, his cousin, Alfred Marquette, had 
the greatest difficulty in getting him to come 
to our party.” 

“And then for him to remain most of the 
time in the library.” 

“ He is welcome to his books so we have 
our opera house.” 


ANVIL CHORUS. 


I T was nearly midnight. Alexander Wild- 
wood was seated at a table in his room 
translating since seven o’clock. He became 
conscious that there were footsteps on the 
stairs ; also that some one was singing. It 
seemed to him that some one was playing an 
alto part on a clarionet. He recognized the 
tune, which was all the rage. 

Presently Theodore Snap and Romeo Hop- 
sing came thundering into the room, Theodore 
singing “ Shoo -fly ’’ and Romeo playing an 
alto part on a toy instrument which sounded 
like a hundred clarionets playing in unison 
and producing a volume of sound not sur- 
passed by a caliope. 

Alexander was perfectly amazed and in his 
deep stentorian voice inquired: “What in 
thunder do you call that implement of tor- 
ture? ” 

To this Romeo laughingly replied : “ This 
is a patent return ball with a kazoo attach- 
ment.” 

Theodore in his inimitable manner now in- 
( 75 ) 


76 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

vited Alexander to join Romeo and himself 
and proceed to theTremont House and return 
Mr. Meloman's call. 

“Yes,” added Romeo, “let’s go and have 
some oysters and then we will serenade our 
friend Meloman. You know that you have 
an excellent bass, and he will enjoy it.” 

Alexander then put away his papers and 
the trio proceeded to a restaurant. 

The music of the serenade still lingering in 
his memor}^ Alexander remarked: “ Shoo- 
fly, now, there is a song that will become a 
model for future composers who aim at pop- 
ularity. Just see,” said he, “ how popular it 
is. The publishers of that song have made 
over thirty thousand dollars out of it.” 

“Let us perform it for the classical Mr. 
Meloman and see how he likes it,” suggested 
Romeo. 

“ By all means,” added Theodore. 

The trio now started for theTremont House 
and soon reached the door of Mr. Meloman’s 
room. They arrived just in time to hear the 
last strains of a sonata by Mozart for violin 
and piano. As soon as the music ceased, the 
trio began. Hopsing played the melody on 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


77 


his implement of torture, while Snap sang 
tenor and Wildwood added his powerful bass. 
They were soon admitted by Prof. Jacob Abel, 
who was nearest the door. 

Mr. Meloman, seated at a Chickering grand, 
had, with the professor for the past five hours, 
been playing Haydn, Mozart and Beethoven 
sonatas ; he occupied two rooms on the fifth 
floor, one of which answered the double pur- 
pose of parlor and sitting-room. Rising and 
approaching his guests he cordially greeted 
them and assured them they did him great 
honor with their beautiful serenade ; ‘‘ permit 
me,” he continued, “ to introduce to you my 
friend, Prof. Jacob Abel, from Hazeldel.” 

After shaking hands with the trio Prof. Jacob 
Abel remarked: “ The song which you per- 
formed so beautifully is really classical.” 

“ The idea, Shoo-fly classical,” exclaimed 
Romeo. 

Mr. Meloman then invited his guests to 
some refreshments. Theodore Snap and Prof. 
Jacob Abel desired Rhine wine, Alexander 
Wildwood concluded to join Mr. Meloman in 
an arrak punch, while Romeo Hopsing never 
took anything stronger than ice water. 


78 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


Mr. Meloman now pressed a button, which 
summons was answered by a waiter. In ad- 
dition to the foregoing order, Mr. Meloman 
added a request for a large Spanish onion and 
a small piece of bread and butter. The waiter 
returned with the liquids but minus the edi- 
bles, whereupon Mr. Meloman gave the waiter 
a ten-dollar gold piece with which to procure 
him an onion and a small piece of bread and 
butter. In a very little while the waiter re- 
turned with two large onions, a loaf of bread 
and a half-pound of butter. 

“ You see, gentlemen,” said Mr. Meloman, 
“ I have some very low tastes.” 

“Not at all,” replied Theodore Snap, “I 
will only be too happy in helping you dispose 
of one of those Spaniards. I acknowledge 
that I also have some low tastes.” 

Returning to the subject of music. Prof. 
Jacob Abel remarked : “Yes, Shoo-fly. Mr. 
Meloman, did you recognize the tune that the 
trio performed? ” 

“ No, I never heard it before.” 

Prof. Abel then requested the trio to repeat 
Shoo-fly, and performing it again with an 
animated enthusiasm, Mr. Meloman again 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


79 


acknowledged that he had never heard it, 
whereupon Prof. Abel picked up a copy of 
Beethoven’s Sonatas and requested Mr. Melo- 
man to try the last movement of Sonata, op. 

lOl. 

Mr. Meloman did not proceed very far be- 
fore Mr. Hopsing was compelled to admit that 
Prof. Abel was right in discovering the source 
from which Shoo-fly originated. 

Prof. Abel now took up his violin and sug- 
gested to have the anvil chorus. Mr. Melo- 
man seated himself at the piano, Theodore 
Snap picked up a poker and of it made a good 
substitute for a triangle. Romeo Hopsing 
prepared himself with his implement of tor- 
ture, leaving Alexander Wildwood unprovided 
with an instrument. They now began. 

Mr. Wildwood had, only the previous day, 
translated an account of Gilmore’s perform- 
ance of the Anvil Chorus in Boston, where 
cannons were substituted for anvils. Mr. 
Wildwood also remembered that he had his 
seven-shooter with him. As the quartette 
were nearing the part where the anvils are 
introduced, Alexander Wildwood went to the 
window, opened it, and when the unsuspect- 


So 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


ing musicians arrived at the first stroke of the 
anvil, he fired seven shots in succession, keep- 
ing time with the music. 

Presently there were a number of police- 
men’s whistles heard. Two city guardians 
came running into the alley, and seeing a sol- 
itary and belated individual passing, they 
seized him and, although he vehemently pro- 
tested his innocence, marched him off to the 
station-house. 

“There they go,” mournfully remarked 
Alexander, “the two guardians of the peace, 
taking an innocent wanderer to the station- 
house to atone for my enthusiasm for art.’’ 

“I think,” vehemently added Theodore, 
“ it is a villainous piece of injustice.” 

“ Now, here is an opportunity for you, The- 
odore, to distinguish yourself. Let us pro- 
ceed to the station-house and see what we can 
do for the poor fellow,” suggested Romeo. 

“ Shall I go along,” inquired Alexander, 
“ and admit to him that it was I who did the 
shooting? ’’ 

“ You may come with us,” replied Theo- 
dore, “ but it will not be necessary for you to 
make any such — ” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


8l 


Here the bell-boy knocked at the door, with- 
out being summoned, and left a note addressed 
to Mr. Nicholas Meloman, which read as fol- 
lows : 

Mr. Meloman ; Sir — You will please call at the oflSce, 
settle your bill and leave the house. 

Yours, etc., ♦♦**** *^ 

Mr. Meloman read the foregoing note aloud. 
Mr. Wildwood expressed regret for the di- 
lemma in which he had placed him. 

“ I pray,” consolingly responded Mr. Mel- 
oman, “ give yourself no uneasiness about it. 
Until very recently I have been under the 
impression that HandePs Harmonious Black- 
smith was unrivaled, but your performance of 
the Anvil Chorus has convinced me that Italy 
is far in advance of Germany in matters where 
fire or forging is concerned.” 

“Never mind, Mr. Meloman, there are a 
number of hotels here, where you will have 
no difficulty in being accommodated,” said 
Prof. Jacob Abel. 

“ I think the clerk was a little hasty,” re- 
marked Romeo. “ Alexander, Theodore and 
myself have been regular boarders here for 
6 


82 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


several years, and have left a great deal of 
money at this caravansary, and we will also 
settle our bills and leave the house.” 

The trio then departed for the station-house, 
leaving Prof. Jacob Abel to condole with Mr. 
Meloman in his unexpected dilemma. 


AT THE STATION-HOUSE. 


HEN the trio arrived at the station- 



V V house they examined the register and 
found the last entry to read : Albert Rosen- 
busch, carrying concealed weapons. 

After a brief conversation with the captain 
of the police, Mr. Snap presented the officer 
with his card and begged permission to see 
the prisoner, which was granted. Our young 
attorney then had a brief interview with Al- 
bert Rosenbusch, for whom he promised to 
plead the case gratis. 

On their return, Romeo laughingly informed 
his companions that Mr* Albert Rosenbusch 
was the identical individual that he had met 
at Mr. Enoch Chase’s, and for whose especial 
benefit he performed an imaginary cavatina 
from the opera of Romeo and Juliet. 

The trial was to take place at nine A. m. 
Theodore had only four hours’ time in which 
to prepare himself. 

The trio arrived at the Tremont House and 
performed their morning ablutions, restored 
their shattered nervous systems with an appe- 


(83) 


84 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


tizer and entered the dining-room, when they 
were joined by Mr. Meloman and Prof. Abel. 

“Well, gentlemen, what success have you 
had with our prisoner?” inquired Mr. Melo- 
man. 

“ The trial is to take place,” answered 
Romeo, “this morning at nine o’clock.” 

“And Theodore is going to plead the case,” 
added Alexander. 

“ I would like to witness it,” remarked Prof. 
Abel, “but must return to Hazeldel on the 
9:15 train.” 

Mr. Meloman then opened a letter, which 
read as follows : 

Mr. Nicholas Meloman : Dear Sir — Would you come 
to Hazeldel one day in the week, providing I obtain for you 
a sufficient number of pupils ? 

Yours very truly, 

Archibald Granger. 

To Mr, Nicholas Meloman^ 

Tremont House, Chicago, III. 

Prof. Jacob Abel remarked : “I hope you 
will conclude to come ; we could then play 
duets without being interrupted.” 

“ I don’t know about that,” exclaimed The- 
odore ; “we three may surprise you some 
evening.” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 85 

“But I promise you that I will leave my 
anvil at home,” said the sedate Alexander. 

“And I will not afflict you with my imple- 
ment of torture,” laughingly added Romeo. 

Mr. Meloman then remarked that he would 
consider the matter and decide in a few days. 

Breakfast was now served and the quintette 
proceeded to do justice to a substantial meal. 
Prof. Abel 'took raw eggs, Theodore had 
them fried, Romeo had them boiled, Meloman 
had them shirred, and Alexander had themt 
served on toast. The quintette exhibited the 
same variety of tastes in everything that they 
ordered, no two dishes being served exactly 
alike. In only one instance were they of one 
accord, and that was in drinking their coffee 
without cream and sugar. 

The party now dispersed ; Prof. Abel went 
to the depot, Mr. Meloman had a music les- 
son to give on Michigan avenue, while the 
others adjourned to the police court room. 

The first two cases were tried and disposed 
of, when presently the name of Albert Rosen- 
busch was called. 

“ Mr. Albert Rosenbusch, what have you 
to say in your defence? ” thundered the judge. 


86 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“Your honor,” interceded Theodore Snap, 
“ my client is charged with having violated a 
city ordinance by shooting within the city 
limits.” 

“Yes, your honor,” interrupted the police- 
man, “ I and my pard heard him fire seven 
shots, so we arrested him, and after searching 
his pockets, found in his possession a re- 
volver.” 

“Will your honor please have the officer 
produce the revolver?” requested Theodore 
Snap. 

The judge addressed the officer and asked : 
“ Have you the revolver? ” 

“ Here it is, your honor,” replied the officer, 
handing the revolver to the judge. 

“Are you positive,” said Theodore, turning 
to the officer, “that this is the identical pistol 
that you found in Mr. Rosenbusch’s posses- 
sion? ” 

“ I can swear to it,’’ replied the officer. 

The judge now addressed Mr. Rosenbusch 
and asked him if he recognized the revolver 
as belonging to him, to which Mr. Rosenbusch 
replied : 

“ It is mine, your honor.” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 87 

Theodore Snap again faced the officer and 
said : 

“ Will you swear that the revolver is in the 
same condition that it was when you took it 
from my client?” 

“ I can swear to it, sir.” 

“ Will your honor please examine the instru- 
ment and ascertain if it is a six or seven 
shooter, also if it is loaded or not?^’ 

The judge then examined the revolver and 
said : “I find that it is a six shooter, and also 
that it is fully loaded.” 

“Now, your honor,” said Theodore, “how 
could my client have produced seven shots 
with a six shooter, or even one shot, and left 
the revolver fully loaded?” 

The judge now arose from his seat, and 
addressing Mr. Rosenbusch in a paternal 
voice said : “ Mr. Rosenbusch, permit me to 
return to you your revolver. It pains me to 
see young men of your address harboring a 
relic of barbarism. Should an opportunity 
present itself, you may shoulder a musket and 
die as a patriot in defence of your country, 
but for all ordinary purposes I would advise 
you to join a gymnasium and take lessons in 
the manly art of self-defence.” 


88 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


When the party left the court-room, Hop- 
sing congratulated Snap upon his unique 
pleading of the case. Wildwood still insisted 
that it was an outrage to arrest an inoffensive 
citizen. Mr. Rosenbusch agreed with Mr. 
Wildwood, and bidding him and Romeo Hop- 
sing a very cordial good-bye, accompanied 
Mr. Theodore Snap to his law office. 


TWO FUNERALS. 


HERE was deep mourning at the house 



A of Hezekiah Clay. The angel of death 
had visited his home and stricken his first- 
born, Hezekiah, Jr., the pride and hope of his 
father. The funeral had taken place the pre- 
ceding day. It was attended by a large con- 
course of people, many of whom were from 
Chicago. Four young men acted as pall- 
bearers. The white hearse, drawn by two 
white horses, conveyed the idea of the inno- 
cence of its burden. 

Mrs. Clay was deeply depressed. It was 
her first experience of real sorrow. It was 
distressing to her husband, whose vain efforts 
to console her met with no better result than to 
see her raise her hands imploringly to heaven 
and give vent in the most heartrending tones 
to such expressions as: “Oh, my God, what 
have I done? what have I done? Why do 
you afflict me so?” and then endeavor to 
drown her grief in a flood of tears and sobs. 

Mr. Hezekiah Clay approached his wife, 
and putting his arm about her, consolingly 


(89) 


90 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


said: “Come, dear, this will not do. You 
know we must submit to the inevitable. I ’ll 
go over to the drug store and get something 
to quiet your nerves. That ’s a dear — now do 
be patient.” 

When Hezekiah reached the veranda and 
was just starting to go down stairs, he hap- 
pened to look toward the right and noticed 
at a short distance a large crowd of people 
marching in the middle of the street and com- 
ing toward him. They would soon be passing 
his place. He paused, wondering what it 
meant. 

The procession now reached the lane which 
intersected the street. He recognized a num- 
ber of faces as being those of domestics em- 
ployed in various Hazeldel families. 

A bright, rosy-cheeked and beautiful little 
girl walking beside a woman who seemed to 
be staring at vacancy, he recognized as being 
Amalie Beauchamp and her mother. 

The last one in the procession was a stoutly- 
built man, carrying a little white coffin under 
his left arm, whom Hezekiah had no difficulty 
in recognizing as Paul Beauchamp, whom he 
had only a short time ago ordered to leave his 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


91 


premises and forbidden-to ever re-enter. For 
a few moments Hezekiah seemed transported 
to some foreign country, and felt as if he were 
living in some primitive hamlet. 

It now dawned upon him that this was also 
a funeral procession. He could not help con- 
trasting it with the pomp and splendor of his 
own sad loss the previous day. Hezekiah, 
though not demonstrative, and giving one the 
impression that he was entirely void of feel- 
ing, became deeply moved while regarding 
Paul Beauchamp, whose face seemed to ex- 
press a sorrow that knows no tear, walking 
with a firm step and alone, hugging his heart’s 
lost treasure. 

The humble cortege, in their primitive sim- 
plicity, were wending their way to the little 
southern chapel, of which Mrs. Beauchamp 
was a member. The graveyard, or God’s 
acre, as it was generally called by these peo- 
ple, adjoined the grounds of the chapel. 

Hezekiah felt his eyes filling with tears. He 
had not cried fot many years — not since he 
was a boy, and had been severely chastized 
by his mother for stealing and eating green 
apples. He now hastened to the drug store, 


92 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


having almost forgotten his own sorrow in 
losing himself in another’s. 

When he returned he found his wife more 
composed. She also had been watching the 
funeral procession pass. 

‘ ‘ Here is a prescription, dear, some bromide, 
that will quiet your nerves.” 

“ Thanks, dear. Did you notice the affect- 
ing funeral procession on your way? I am 
now more reconciled.” 

“Yes, I thought it was very touching.” 

“ Little Amalie Beauchamp — her’s was the 
only happy face. The dear child, she brought 
those beautiful lilies of the valley, saying that 
her mamma had sent them.” 

“Dr. Granger arranged them very taste- 
fully.” 

“ I shall now alwa3^s have the kindliest feel- 
ing toward him. I did think at one time that 
he was somewhat coarse, but he was so gentle 
and s^^mpathetic in arranging the flowers 
about baby as he lay there in his little cof- 
fin—.” 

Hezekiah recalling the many plans that he 
had made for his heart’s idol, and the bright 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


93 


future to which he had looked forward, now 
painfully realized the vanity of human hopes. 

It was now with the greatest difficulty that 
Mrs. Clay succeeded in reconciling her hus- 
band with their bereavement. 






AT THE GREEN-HOUSE. 



AUL BEAUCHAMP listened patiently to 


his wife. She censured him for his ex- 
travagance in recently investing his last ten 
dollars for some rare plant which he had or- 
dered from the east. Many a dollar he se- 
cretly sent away for rare bulbs without his 
wife’s knowledge. 

Although Mrs. Beauchamp was an admirer 
of everything beautiful, she also possessed a 
faculty for matters that were practical. She 
argued with her husband that although flowers 
were beautiful, you could not eat them, and 
thought it very foolish in him to pay out his 
last cent when they needed so many other 
things. 

Paul endeavored to pacify his wife by repre- 
senting to her the intrinsic value of the plants. 
He expressed hopes of disposing of a number 
to Mr. Chase, whom he had recently solic- 
ited. 

Mrs. Beauchamp reminded her husband 
that it was a week since they had buried Pip, 
and the undertaker had not yet been paid. 


( 95 ) 


96 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


During this conversation Amalie amused 
herself at the window tearing little slips of 
paper on which she scribbled something, and 
then opening a window, placed them on the 
sill. After watching them awhile she came 
running to her mother, exclaiming : 

“ Mamma, I wrote some letters to my angel 
brother and put them outside of the window, 
when God came and took them up to heaven.” 

“ Did you, dear? Would you like to go to 
heaven and see your little brother again — little 
Pip?” 

Amalie had unconsciously given her little 
brother, whose real name was Clifford, the 
more appropriate name of Pip. She hesitated 
a few seconds and then answered her mother 
by asking: “And leave you all alone? you 
good mamma? ” 

Amalie strengthened this last remark by 
throwing her little arms around her mother’s 
neck and hugging her ; then in an endearing 
tone of childlike simplicity and sympathy she 
asked : 

“ Mamma, why are you crying?” 

“ I miss our little brother.” 

Is n’t heaven a pretty place?” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


97 


“ Yes, dear.” 

“ And is n’t our little brother in heaven? ” 

“ Yes, dear.” 

“Then, why do you cry? I won’t leave 
you, my good mamma.” 

There was something touchingly beautiful 
in the love and devotion that this little child 
exhibited toward her mother. How many 
wise sayings are unconsciously expressed by 
many of these little ones, which are a puzzle 
and a mystery to philosophers and sages. 

“That’s right,” responded Paul Beau- 
champ, approaching his wife and daughter 
and throwing his arms about them and hug- 
ging both to his bosom; “ that’s right, Ama- 
lie — don’t leave our mamma ; you know papa 
must go out and make money to buy some- 
thing to eat and something — ” 

Paul had not finished the sentence when 
there was a knock at the door. Hastening to the 
door, he admitted Mr. and Mrs. Hezekiah Clay. 

“Mr. Beauchamp,” said Mr. Clay, “ we 
have come to see some of the rare plants of 
which you were talking to Mr. Chase,” and 
then turning to Mrs. Beauchamp, he expressed 
his sympathy for her in her sad affliction. 

7 


98 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“We must learn to bear our loss patiently,” 
replied Mrs. Beauchamp. 

Mrs. Clay, on entering the room, was 
greeted by little Amalie running into her arms : 

“ How is my little rosebud?” 

“ Mrs. Clay, I had a little brother, and God 
came and took him away.” 

“ Shall we walk over to the green-house?” 
hastily inquired Paul Beauchamp. “ I will 
show you some beauties in the way of rare 
plants, the like of which you will not find in 
Shaw’s garden at St. Louis.” 

“I will remain here and keep Mrs. Beau- 
champ company, and entertain myself with 
little Amalie,” replied Mrs. Clay. 

Mr. Clay then begged Mrs. Clay to accom- 
pany him, as he preferred to have her help in 
making a selection of flowers. Mrs. Clay 
then took Amalie off her knees and placed 
her before her, remarking, as she left: “I 
will see you again, little one.” 

On their way to the green-house Paul con- 
tinued : “I was in St. Louis last summer and 
visited Shaw’s garden. Mr. Shaw was very 
courteous to me. In taking me through his 
garden I unfortunately betrayed to him a 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


99 


knowledge of the language of flowers. This 
seemed positively to shock him. He there- 
upon informed me that he had only created, 
the garden in the interest of botanical science, 
and that he had no use for sentiment. I tried 
to convince him that all the different perfumes 
were suggestive of as many different ideas. 
I also endeavored to convince him that the 
sense of smell was not second to the sense of 
sight. Wordsworth could see and admire 
flowers, but could not enjoy their perfume. 
Homer enjoyed their perfume, but could not 
see their beauty.” 

The party arrived at the green-house, when 
Paul, picking up a johnny -jump -up, con- 
tinued : 

“Here, you lazy little fellow, wake up and 
make a bow to the lady.” 

“Just look at this beautiful cactus,” ex- 
claimed Mrs. Clay, admiringly. 

“ That is the Nopal,” said Paul, “ in which 
there are millions of little red insects (coccus 
cacti). It is from this source that we obtain 
the cochineal, from which the bright carmine 
is produced, which color is so valued by art- 
ists.” 


lOO 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“I will take that,” remarked Mr. Cla}'. 
^‘And what is the name of this odd-looking 
plant?” 

That — the simplified botanical name is the 
skunkibus stinkibus, a very beautiful flower 
when in bloom, but then I would advise you to 
keep it out doors — some distance from the 
house — as the odor arising from it is similar 
to a dead rat.”^ 

“You may also send that,” said Mr. Clay. 

Mr. and Mrs. Cla}' now made a selection 
of plants. Paul had some interesting and in- 
structive remarks to make about each one that 
was inquired about. 

Returning to the house they were admitted 
b}' little Amalie, who had been patiently wait- 
ing for the return of Mrs. Clay, with whom she 
had become a great favorite. 

Mr. Clay inquired of Paul: “What is the 
amount of my indebtedness? ” 

“ Twenty -five dollars.” 

*Arum Dracunculus. The root of that species which is 
vulgarly named Cuckoo Pint and its spadixes, Lords and 
Ladies, is eatable when properly prepared. What is called 
Portland Sago is prepared from it. The emanations of 
Arum Dracunculus, when in flower, produce dizziness, head- 
ache and vomiting. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


lOI 


Then taking from his wallet a roll of green- 
backs and counting, as he supposed, twenty- 
five dollars, Mr. Clay handed them to Paul, 
who, after recounting the money, returned 
five dollars. 

Mr. Clay thanked Paul for his honesty, and 
before leaving again expressed his sympathy 
for Mrs. Beauchamp, in which he was joined 
by Mrs. Clay, who threw her arms about lit- 
tle Amalie and promised her that she would 
soon come again and take her and her mother 
riding. 



A MINSTREL PERFORMANCE. 



‘HE 22d of February, i8 — , Washington’s 


^ birthday, will long be remembered by 
many inhabitants of Hazeldel . The new opera- 
house, library and debating club was to be 
formall}^ opened by an amateur minstrel per- 
formance in honor of the father of our coun- 
try’s anniversary. 

The Hon. Esau Cain donated the ground, 
but came near proving himself an Indian giver 
when the name he suggested, Cosmos, was 
not adopted, and instead the less pretentious one 
of Hazeldel Debating Club was decided upon. 

The Hon. Esau Cain was an advocate of 
brevity, as he considered it to be the soul of 
wit. Many persons who in conversation re- 
sorted to a circumlocutional manner of ex- 
pressing themselves were silenced by him, in 
the midst of their sentences, by one little word, 
“condense,” which he uttered in a deep and 
stentorian voice. It was, therefore, some little 
time before he became reconciled to the adop- 
tion of Hazeldel Debating Club in preference 
to his briefer suggestion of Cosmos. 


(103) 


104 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

The building, consisting of two stories, in 
its gothic style of architecture, resembled a 
church minus a steeple. The lower floor was 
elegantly furnished with the most expensive 
Brussels carpets, unique tables, some of which 
were laden with magazines and illustrated 
papers, while others were supplied with chess, 
backgammon and other games. The chairs 
were of elegant pattern and covered with Rus- 
sia leather. The windows were ornamented 
with damask lambrequins and lace curtains, 
and last, but not the least attractive feature, 
was an elegantly carved bookcase extending 
the whole width of the room. 

Long before the time for the performance 
to begin, the people congregated, stopping in 
the lower hall to inspect and admire the home- 
like rendezvous before ascending to the large 
hall above. 

Prof. Jacob Abel had charge of the musical 
part of the programme. He also determined 
to have the Anvil Chorus performed in first- 
class style, and invited Alexander Wildwood, 
Theodore Snap and Romeo Hopsing to be 
present. 

On this eventful evening Prof. Abel’s bald 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


105 

head was, if anything, more resplendent than 
usual. Whenever he wanted an idea to strike 
him, he would scratch his head from force of 
habit ; or when, during rehearsals, the singers 
and performers would prove themselves dull 
of comprehension, he would resort to the same 
habit of scratching his head as a means of 
pacifying his impatience. It is, therefore, not 
surprising, taking everything into considera- 
tion, that Prof. Jacob Abel’s head resembled 
a large and highly-polished boiled lobster. 

Theodore Snap acted as middle man, Alfred 
Marquette played the bones, and Albert Ros- 
enbusch, who came on purpose from St. Louis, 
pla^^ed the tambourine. 

Prof. Jacob Abel led with his violin. The 
bpening chorus, Ernani, performed, Snap 
called on Marquette and asked him the fol- 
lowing conundrum : 

“Why does a chicken walk across the 
street? ” 

“Because it can’t climb a tree. I give it 
up. Why does a chicken walk across the 
street? ” 

“ Because it wants to get on the other side.’^ 

Theodore Snap then announced the second 


io6 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


number, “The Old Church Bell,” which was 
very acceptably sung by Alfred Marquette"', 
who was greeted with warm applause. 

Alfred Marquette now asked Theodore Snap 
the following conundrum : 

“What makes more noise than two little 
pigs under a gate?” 

“ An elephant.” 

“No.” 

“A steam-engine.” 

“No.” 

“A cyclone.” 

“No.” 

“ A kazoo.” 

“No.” 

“I give it up. What makes more noise 
than two little pigs under a gate? ” ’ 

“Three little pigs.” 

Theodore Snap now announced “Auf Wie- 
dersehen,” which he sang with intense feeling 
and expression. Being encored, he responded 
with the last verse. 

Mr. Rosenbusch now propounded to Mr. 
Marquette this conundrum : 

“ What smells most in a drug store? ” 

But before Mr. Marquette had time to an- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


107 


swer, a young boy in the audience exclaimed, 
in a tone expressive of a feeling of the utmost 
contempt and disappointment : 

“ Cheese it, old chestnuts ! ” 

Finally they came to the last number of part 
first. Prof. Abel had supplied one of the 
musicians with a flat-iron, a hatchet and a 
tack-hammer ; another he provided with an 
immense bass drum, and placing Romeo Hop- 
sing behind the scenes, provided him with a 
muffled bass drum, to be used as an echo to 
the great drum. 

Mr. Alexander Wildwood, seated among 
the audience, making notes for the morning 
paper, again became possessed with a desire 
to take part in the performance with his pistol, 
but he remained true to his promise and left 
his revolver at home. Recalling his perform- 
ance at the Tremont House, Mr. Wildwood 
became lost in musing, when he was restored 
to consciousness by what he supposed to be 
the firing of cannon. 

The deception was perfect, the echo adding 
to the realistic illusion. 

The audience went wild, as if carried by 
storm. At the repetition of the part where 


I08 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

the anvil is again introduced, every one in the 
house applauded, keeping time with the great 
drum. 

When the performance was concluded, Prof. 
Jacob Abel accompanied the trio to the depot, 
Mr. Wildwood remarking to him before leav- 
ing : 

“ Why, sir, you have produced a more nat- 
ural effect with artificial means than I would 
have believed possible.” 


TEMPEST IN A TEA-POT. 



OMINE DINKSKIRCHEN went to the 


minstrel performance. It was the first 
time in his life that he had ever seen anything 
of the kind. To say that he was shocked 
would not adequately express his feeling of 
disgust. He did not think it possible that 
white people could so far forget all sense of 
decency and decorum as to dishonor their 
noble race by blacking their faces, nor could 
he understand why the audience should laugh 
at such coarse and vulgar jokes ; they simply 
horrified him. 

It is, therefore, not surprising that the fol- 
lowing Sunday found the Domine Dinkskir- 
chen in anything but an amiable mood. Dur- 
ing the course of his sermon he took occasion 
to inform his hearers that the devil was among 
them and they were not aware of it. 

The Domine also remembered that Prof. 
Abel had betra3^ed a weakness for the soprano 
of the choir. Miss Rosamond Cain, by show- 
ing his partiality for her in having her fre- 
quently sing a solo during collection. 


(109) 


no 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


The Domine was a keen observer. He 
also noticed that this was not the only weak- 
ness that the professor betrayed. The Dom- 
ine was aware that Hon. Esau Cain would not 
permit Prof. Jacob Abel to come into his house, 
and, as a result of this species of paternal 
severity, the professor courted Miss Rosamond 
at the church, instead of violating her father’s 
stern mandate. 

In tragic tones, the Domine repeated : “ The 
devil is among you, and you are not aware of 
it.” Then gradually drifting toward the sub- 
ject of music, he continued: “There will be 
no solo singing in heaven.” 

Prof. Jacob Abel’s bald head now assumed 
an alabaster hue, resembling a large -sized 
billiard ball, while his cheeks glowed with a 
hectic flush. He could not quite agree with 
the Domine ; it is therefore not surprising that 
during the collection, which immediately fol- 
lowed the sermon. Miss Rosamond Cain sang, 
“I know that my Redeemer liveth.” Her 
voice was unusually pathetic and she seemed 
to feel every note that she sang. 

Theodore Snap was among the congre- 
gation. At the request of Alfred Mar- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


Ill 


quette, Mr. Snap went to Hazeldel to pass 
Sunday. 

Mother Marquette and her sister, Aunt Sal- 
lie, went to Hazeldel years ago, for the pur- 
pose of viewing a homestead. The owner, a 
former Louisiana planter, became weary of 
American manners and customs and concluded 
to go to Paris for a permanent residence. He 
therefore commissioned a real estate broker 
to dispose of his property. 

The house was located at the foot of a grad- 
ually sloping hill, a two-and-a-half-story frame 
building, a large hall in the center, running 
the ‘whole length of the building, the front 
protected with a wide porch, extending the 
width of the building and protected by a tin- 
covered roof. The floor of the porch was 
elevated flve steps from the ground. The 
view from the roof of the front porch was 
exceedingly picturesque. Gradually sloping 
hills on each side, a creek to the right and 
another creek at the left, formed a triangular 
lawn, which terminated in a ravine, where 
the two creeks met before flowing into the 
lake. A portion of the lawn was encircled 
with cedars, another portion with oval flower- 


II2 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


beds, honeysuckle vines perfumed and shaded 
the library, and gravel promenades ran in a 
labyrinth of windings. At the rear of the 
building an apple and pear orchard, grape 
arbor and garden. 

Mother Marquette and Aunt Sallie were 
completely charmed with the place and bought 
the homestead. Mr. Marquette, traveling for 
a Cincinnati publishing house, was rarely at 
home. The first two 3"ears found him onl}^ 
three times with his family. Near the end of 
the third year Hazeldel had a sensation from 
which it did not recover for many 3"ears. 

One Sunda}" morning the village was thrown 
into a frenz}' of excitement. The report of a 
murder spread like a prairie fire. Mr. Mar- 
quette had been murdered the previous even- 
ing, near his home. Battered nearly out of 
all recognition, his body was only identified 
by a watch found on his person, a birthday 
gift, which his wife had presented to him 
before their marriage. 

A superstitious person would not have pos- 
sessed sufficient nerve to dwell at Mother Mar- 
quette’s beautiful home. For^^ears they were 
tantalized with m^^sterious rappings at the 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. II3 

front door. Some unknown agency would 
rattle the door-knob, give three firm raps, and 
although Alfred had frequently hastened to 
the door as soon as he heard the sound, he 
never succeeded in seeing any one or discov- 
ering the source from whence the knocking 
originated. 

Theodore became charmed with Miss Ros- 
amond’s voice. After the services, while on 
their way to Mother Marquette’s, Theodore 
went into raptures over Miss Rosamond’s 
singing. Alfred was highly gratified with 
Theodore’s eulogy, and casually suggested 
that after dinner they call on the fair Rosa- 
mond. 

Theodore needed no second invitation. As 
soon as they had dined and smoked their 
cigars, these two young men hastened to the 
residence of the Hon. Esau Cain. 

The Hon. Esau Cain was seated at the bay- 
window, which commanded a beautiful view. 
He had just re-read for the five hundredth 
time the Songs of Solomon, and placed the 
book on his knee, when, looking out of the 
window, he saw Alfred Marquette and another 
young man coming up the lawn. He hastened 
8 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


1 14 

to the door, and from the threshold awaited 
their approach. 

“ Mr. Cain, I have the pleasure of introduc- 
ing to you Mr. Theodore Snap, a rising young 
attorney from Chicago.” 

“ Haippy to make your acquaintance, sir! 
I believe I had the pleasure of hearing you at 
our minstrel performance.” 

Unfortunately.” 

“At my request,” said Alfred, “ Mr. Snap 
\vent with me to hear Domine Dinkskirchen.” 

“ In consequence of which I hope, sir, that 
Mr. Snap will not become filled with remorse,” 
said Mr. Cain. 

“That would be impossible,’’ said Theo- 
dore Snap, “ after listening to the beautiful 
singing of your daughter. Miss Rosamond.” 

“ Have seats, gentlemen. Make yourselves 
at home. Consider this house as your own.” 

Miss Rosamond now entered the room, and 
betrayed surprise at not finding her father 
alone. 

“ Speak of angels,” said Alfred, attempting 
an original compliment, “and you hear the 
flutter of — ” 

“Condense!” interrupted the Hon. Esau 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. II5 

Cain, picking up his Songs of Solomon and 
adjourning to the library. 

“Miss Cain, permit me to introduce to you 
my friend, Mr. Theodore Snap.” 

“ Happy to make your acquaintance. You 
were one of our minstrels, I believe. I en- 
joyed your singing of the beautiful song, Auf 
Wiedersehen, ever so much.” 

“And I confess I was deeply moved with 
your solo, and heartily sympathize with you.” 

“ I was under the impression that you were 
hit fully as hard as myself. It is a way our 
domine has — to make us feel our utter insig- 
nificance, I suppose.” 

“ This is certainly a very philosophical way 
of looking at it,” remarked Alfred. 

“ I beg to differ with you,” replied Theo- 
dore. “It would be preferable to dispense 
with our minstrel performances, with their 
rude jokes, instead of depriving the house of 
God of so admirable a method of worship.” 

“ But we must not forget,” continued Miss 
Rosamond, “ that there is a time and place to 
laugh, as well as weep and pray.” 

“Very true,” assented Mr. Snap. 

“While I think of it, since we have a tenor. 


Il6 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

let US sing the trio from Atilla,” suggested 
Alfred Marquette. 

Miss Rosamond thereupon gets the music, 
gives Snap and Marquette each a copy, places 
the third copy on the piano before her and 
begins the introduction. She pauses after 
singing the first bar to clear her throat with 
a few suppressed coughs, then begins again 
and sings the solo with considerable fervor. 

Snap now begins his solo, and stops at the 
first bar to clear his throat by coughing most 
vigorously ; begins again and sings with unu- 
sual pathos. 

Marquette’s solo follows the tenor’s, but, 
profiting from the failures of the soprano and 
tenor, does his coughing two bars in advance 
of his solo. 

During the singing of the trio, the Hon. 
Mrs. Esau Cain enters the room, and throw- 
ing two hundred and thirty-eight pounds of 
flesh (authors are expected, on all occasions, 
to be precise and state only the exact truth) 
into an easy-chair, listens to the music, her 
face glowing with maternal pride and enthusi- 
asm. At the last sound of the singrinef Mrs. 
Cain applauded vigorously and exclaimed : 
“ Bravo ! bravo ! ” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


II7 

Miss Rosamond now introduced Mr. Theo- 
dore Snap to her mother as being Alfred Mar- 
quette’s friend. 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain then arose from 
her comfortable easy-chair and greeted Theo- 
dore in this unique manner : 

“Welcome, Mr. Snap, to ‘ Hornet’s Nest !’ ” 
This is what she had named her place. “ My 
cook has just baked some excellent dough- 
nuts ; will not Mr. Snap and our friend Alfred 
have some, with a glass of sweet cider? ” 

“ I can safely answer for Mr. Snap and my- 
self,” replied Alfred Marquette, “that we will 
only be too happy to partake of your hospi- 
tality.” 

The Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain then repeated her 
performance on her Egyptian telephone and 
the refreshments were served. 

Mr. Theodore Snap now approached the 
Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain, and seating himself 
upon an ottoman, which he gently kicked at 
her feet, remarked : 

“ My dear madam, you certainly have a 
very original way of making your wants 
known.” 

“ Do you really think so? Well, you see, 


ii8 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


my dear Mr. Snap, I invented this method in 
self-defense. I used to make myself hoarse 
calling the servants.” 

“ The idea is certainly a good one, and de- 
serves to be patented.” 

“Now, that would be an excellent idea for 
yon lawyers,” derisively said Alfred Mar- 
quette, “and if acted on would prove very 
beneficial to your profession. It would keep 
you busy fighting the infringements.” 

“But I will not have my invention pat- 
ented,” replied the Hon. Mrs. Esau Cain ; 
“ the public is at liberty to use it.” 

“ I see,” said Mr. Snap, “ you are inclined 
to become a benefactor of your race.” 

“Mr. Snap,” said Alfred Marquette, ve- 
hemently, addressing Theodore, “with our 
present existing patent laws, or international 
copyright laws, what encouragement is there 
to inventors?” 

“ Every encouragement,” replied Mr. Snap, 
providing you have something entirely new.” 

“ But have not whistles existed from time 
immemorial? ” 

“ Certainly ; so also has steam ; but the ap- 
plication, the use to which it is put, is compar- 
atively modern.” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


II9 

“ Gentlemen,” interrupted Miss Rosamond, 
“if you will discontinue this conversation I 
will play a new piece of music which I have 
recently learned and which I believe will in- 
terest you.” 

“ What is the name of the piece?” inquired 
Theodore Snap. 

“A Tempest in a Tea-pot.” 

“A Tempest in a Tea-pot,” repeated Alfred 
Marquette ; “ very appropriate.” 

Miss Rosamond then performed Strakosch’s 
humorous composition, after which she re- 
quested Mr. Theodore Snap to favor them 
with “Auf Wiedersehen,” but remembering 
that she could not play the accompaniment, 
substituted “Good-by Little Kathleen,” which 
Mr. Snap sang with considerable warmth, and 
then requested Mr. Alfred Marquette to also 
favor them with some vocal music. 

Mr. Marquette selected “ The Heart Bowed 
Down,” and sang with unusual depth of ex- 
pression. Had Balfe, the composer, or the 
singing statesman, been present, they would 
have dissolved in tears. 



ROSES. 


I T was the 28th of March. The old adage, 
“ Come in like a lion, go out like a lamb,’’ 
had been verified, for a more beautiful balmy 
spring day never breathed. The trees of 
Hazeldel were melodious with the song of the 
robin, and nature seemed to have awakened 
from a delicious dream. 

When Ernest Hirsch arrived at Paul Beau- 
champ’s green-house he found him very much 
depressed in spirits. The preceding day Paul 
discovered in an isolated corner of his green- 
house a new plant which was a marvel as a 
botanical freak of nature, an ivy-frhnrose^ a 
plant composed of ivy leaves and primrose 
blossoms. 

Paul concluded that this wonderful plant 
would please Mr. Hezekiah Clay if he were 
invited to call and see this floral wedlock. 

Paul felt certain that Mr. Clay would give 
vent to his feelings in a very ecstatic manner. 
When, therefore, Mr. Clay called, and Paul, 
with a childlike delight, pointed out the plant 
(121) 


122 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


to him, his ardor became considerably chilled 
when Mr. Clay simply asked : 

“ Is that it? ” 

This was more than Paul could endure. He 
immediately ordered Mr. Hezekiah Clay to 
get out of his green-house and never venture 
to return. 

Paul soon regretted his harsh words. Re- 
turning to his cottage, he informed his wife of 
what had occurred, in return for which Mrs. 
Beauchamp gave him a very sensible lecture, 
but prudently waited until dinner was over 
before doing so. 

“ I remember,’’ continued Paul, “ how kind 
he and Mrs. Clay were, but I could not con- 
trol myself, and for once lost my head.” 

It is, therefore, not surprising that Mr. Er- 
nest Hirsch found Paul looking somewhat 
dejected, and, inquiring the reason, Paul re- 
peated to him the little episode with Mr. Clay. 

“Let me see the plant that has caused you 
so much distress.” 

Paul conducted Mr. Hirsch to the south 
side of the green-house and with pride pointed 
to the gem. 

“ Now, this is beautiful. I will take it and 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. I 23 

present it to a lady who, I am sure, will fully 
appreciate the gift.” 

Paul carried the plant to Mr. Hirsch’s buggy, 
who started off rejoicing on his way to Mr. 
Enoch Chase’s country home. 

When Ernest Hirsch arrived at the two-mile 
toll-gate, which is half way to Mr. Chase’s, he 
met Mr. and Mrs. Chase, who, in their car- 
riage, were coming to the village. Ernest’s 
first impulse was to return, but being informed 
by Mrs. Chase that Eleanore was at home, 
continued his journey. 

Arriving at their home, he took his floral 
treasure from the buggy, and, ascending the 
stairs of the piazza, soon reached the door. 

Miss Eleanore, in her white spotted blue 
calico dress, a towel fastened to her head 
Egyptian style, a broom in her hand and a 
dust can under her arm, looked even more 
bewitchingly beautiful than in her silks and 
laces at Miss Rosamond Cain’s party. 

“ Oh, I was not expecting you, Mr. Hirsch. 
I have been putting the library in order ; had 
the carpet taken up and am nearly through. 
What a beautiful flower ! ” 

“Yes, I thought you would be pleased 
with it.” 


124 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“Let US go into the library/’ suggested 
Eleanore, “ and put the plant in the bay- 
window, where it will get plenty of sunshine. 

“ I knew that you would appreciate it.” 

“ Indeed, I do. Why, this is the first prim- 
rose that I have ever seen with ivy leaves I ” 

Ernest then narrated to Miss Chase the 
story of Paul Beauchamp in connection with 
the plant, and what a narrow escape Mr. Clay 
had from being forcibly ejected from the 
green-house. 

“That must have been very ludicrous,” 
laughingly remarked Miss Chase. 

“ I pacified Paul by assuring him that I 
knew a lady who would appreciate its worth.” 

“ I shall value it the more since there is 
such an amusing little history connected 
with it.” 

Ernest Hirsch seated himself near the table, 
and taking a book which lay within his reach 
examined the title and audibly said : 

“ Walden — Thoreau.” 

“I have just recently read the book,” re- 
marked Miss Chase, “ and was forcibly re- 
minded, by the author, of yourself in his love 
for solitude.” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


125 


‘^Thanks! I have also recently read Wal- 
den, and was very much pleased with ,Tho- 
reau’s description of the battle of the ants — the 
combat between the black imperialists and 
red republicans ; it reminded me of the battles 
that Homer describes in his Iliad. What 
pleased you best? ” 

“Why, next to the beauty that he saw in 
dead leaves, there is — wait till I get the book 
— something about a miracle — oh, 3^es ; here 
it is : ‘ Could a greater miracle take place than 
for us to look through each other’s eyes an 
instant? We should live in all the ages of the 
world in an hour ; aye, in all the worlds of 
ages, history, poety, mythology ! I know of 
no reading of another’s experience so startling 
and informing as this would be.’ ” 

“ Poor fellow ! ” said Ernest, rising. ‘^Tho- 
reau must have met a Haidee at some time of 
his life and imagined himself a Don Juan. 
Well, I must be off. Good-by.” 

“ Must you go so soon? ” 

There was something indescribably pathetic 
in the quality of voice with which this ques- 
tion was asked. Miss Eleanore did not pos- 
sess the tact of fulty concealing her emotion. 


126 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


and when her inquiring eyes, expressive of 
wounded surprise, met those of Mr. Hirsch, 
it was with the greatest difficulty that he 
restrained himself from throwing his arms 
about her, and by hugging and kissing declare 
to her how deeply and passionately he loved 
her. He simply replied : 

“ Yes ; I will see you again.” 

Mr. Hirsch had not been gone very long 
before he regretted his hasty departure. He 
consoled himself, however, with the hope that 
it would not be very long before he would 
again see Miss Eleanore. He firmly resolved 
to make Miss Eleanore his wife. He believed 
that what is to be will be. There was nothing 
that Ernest so utterly abhorred as trifling with 
a true woman’s affection. Ernest, however, 
was not entirely free from error. Was it the 
demon Pride that urged him to leave his 
loved one so abruptly? Was it the slave 
Cowardice that prevented him from being a 
man and throwing his arms about Eleanore’s 
neck, declaring his love and asking her to be 
his wife? Had not the tyrant Doubt suffi- 
ciently schooled him for life’s battle? Ernest 
entertained peculiar views regarding equality. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


127 


He knew that Eleanore would inherit five 
million dollars, compared to which his few 
hundred thousand seemed insignificant. He 
therefore resolved to become her equal in 
every sense of the word, and determined 
upon going to Chicago the following day and 
engage in grain speculation. 

It was near sunset. The clouds never 
seemed so beautiful to Ernest ; the atmos- 
phere seemed impregnated with a strange and 
intoxicating perfume, which seemed so real 
and yet so unreal when vainly endeavoring to 
locate the place or name the plant from which 
a similar perfume emanated. It seemed to 
Ernest that he had just awakened from a pro- 
longed sleep and had suddenly been trans- 
ported to an enchanted land. The violent 
beatings of his heart and the blood coursing 
rapidly through his veins caused him invol- 
untarily to shiver. 

Ernest was aroused from this train of thought 
by the peculiar antics of his horse, which be- 
gan backing and had almost upset the buggy. 
Hastily jumping out, Ernest ran before Topsy, 
and, with a few kind words and gentle strokes, 
soon had the frightened animal — whose beau- 


128 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


tiful, large, fiery eyes looked bewildered and 
apprehensive, as if some phantom had ap- 
peared to her — restored to her usual tranquil- 
lity. Then , straightening the buggy, Ernest 
resumed his seat and hastened on his home- 
ward journey. 


ORIENTAL EUCHRE. 


HEODORE SNAP awoke one morning 



i- and found himself famous. He was at 
Alfred Marquette’s home. Had not the Hon. 
Esau Cain said to him, “ Consider this house 
\'Our own? ” And why should any one be sur- 
prised that Theodore passed many a Sunday 
with his friend Alfred? It was Monday morn- 
ing. Theodore had again gone to Hazeldel 
to visit his friend Alfred, and as there were 
no trains leaving Hazeldel on Sunday even- 
ing for Chicago, he had no other alternative 
than to remain all night. 

The way Theodore gained renown was this : 
Mr. Albert Rosenbusch arrived at the conclu- 
sion that he had been wrongfully imprisoned. 
He brought suit against the city of Chicago 
for false imprisonment, claiming fifty thousand 
dollars damages. He engaged Theodore 
Snap as his attorney. Mr. Snap secured the 
assistance of two eminent criminal lawyers, 
and thus won the case. 

Alfred Marquette had, on this particular 
Monday morning, risen somewhat earlier than 
9 0 ^ 9 ) 


130 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

usual, and when Theodore Snap went down 
into the library he was greeted by Alfred, 
who handed him the morning paper. 

Theodore, in glancing at the first page, 
found it entirely devoted to the trial of his cli- 
ent. Mr. Snap’s speech to the jury was pub- 
lished in full. For forcible sarcasm and ele- 
gant rhetoric it was agreed that it had never 
been equaled. 

The papers teemed with eulogies at the dis- 
covery of a new luminary in the legal firma- 
ment. 

Alfred Marquette felt highly rejoiced and 
congratulated his friend. 

Mother Marquette and Aunt Sallie, whose 
natural characteristics were humility, felt a 
tinge of pride for having harbored so dis- 
tinguished a guest. 

When Theodore Snap arrived at Chicago he 
found Alexander Wildwood and Romeo Hop- 
sing at the depot to meet him. Hopsing was 
exceedingly delighted at Snap's success, while 
Alexander admitted that it was better than 
throwing law to the dogs and becoming an 
itinerant peddler. 

Alexander and Romeo vied with each other 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 13r 

in attributing to themselves, to a certain ex- 
tent, the credit for Theodore’s fame. Romeo 
claimed that it was owing to his advice, while 
Alexander persisted in maintaining that, only 
for the firing of his pistol, Theodore would 
never have had the opportunity of exhibiting 
his genius for the law. 

It would have been difficult, if not impossi- 
ble, to have found anywhere a more joyful 
and exuberant trio, overflowing with animal 
spirits, wending their way toward Mr. Snap’s 
law office. 

Looking ahead, Romeo’s attention was at- 
tracted by a stray cow, feeding from a barrel 
in front of a restaurant. Near the barrel was 
a large box of oyster shells and tin cans. 
Adjoining the restaurant was a grocery, in 
front of which was a conspicuous placard, 
advertising the fact that they there kept for 
sale “ dried apples, crackers and rope.” 

One of these articles was precisely what 
Romeo wanted. Pausing before the appetiz- 
ing placard, he requested his companions to 
wait awhile, and assured them that they would 
have some fun. He then procured some rope 
and tied a number of oyster cans together,, 


132 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


and then cautiously approaching the unsus- 
pecting cow, he fastened them to her tail and 
started her off on a run. 

The frightened animal rushed through the 
street as if propelled by a cyclone, upsetting 
a man who was pushing a hand-cart, and 
thereby causing a crowd of street gamins and 
spectators a deal of merriment. 

An Irish woman, carrying a large basket 
filled with enough provender to start a small- 
sized market, expressed her belief that the cow 
belonged to Mrs. O’Leary, and she thought 
it was “a bloody mane trick to frighten the 
poor bayst so.” 

The trio finally arrived at Mr. Snap’s office. 
Before dispersing they agreed to meet at their 
room at eight o’clock p. m. Mr. Wildwood 
promised to introduce a new game of cards, 
and Romeo was commissioned to invite Mr. 
Nicholas Meloman. 

Mr. Theodore Snap became very favorably 
impressed with Miss Rosamond’s performance 
of “The Tempest in a Tea-pot,” and deter- 
mined to procure a copy. He went to four 
music stores, and had almost despaired, when 
trying a fifth time he succeeded. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


133 


When Alexander Wildwood and Romeo 
Hopsing arrived at their room they found that 
Theodore Snap had preceded them. Alex- 
ander took off his overcoat and hat and care- 
lessly threw them over the bed, while Romeo 
carefully put his coat and hat in the wardrobe. 

Referring to the trick that Romeo played 
on Mrs. O’Leary’s cow, Alexander expressed 
a fear that Romeo would never set the world 
on fire with such performances. 

“I did it principally to amuse Theodore,” 
replied Romeo, “he seemed somewhat op- 
pressed from the weight of fame.” 

“Well,” remarked Theodore, “I enjoyed 
it immensely. Did you see Mr. Meloman, 
Romeo? ” 

“Yes; he will be here at half-past eight. 
He is going to return to St. Petersburg.” 

“Why so?” asked Theodore, in amaze- 
ment. 

“ Well, it seems that what has proved to be 
the source of your success, has acted quite 
disastrously in Mr. Meloman’s case.” 

Alexander looked astonished and asked : 
“What do you mean, Romeo?” 

“ Only this, that ever since Mr. Meloman 


134 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

was ordered to leave the Tremont House on 
account of your unbridled enthusiasm, the 
good people of Chicago have lost faith in him 
and have withdrawn their patronage so that 
he has but few pupils.” 

“ He ought not become discouraged. Why 
don’t he advertise in the papers and make his 
wants known?” 

“That is just where the difficulty lies. Sev- 
eral months ago he did advertise in all the 
papers, but with the most perplexing results.” 

“ How so?” inquired Thepdore. 

“ Well, now, Mr. Snap, as there is a prob- 
ability of your becoming some day a judge of 
the Supreme Court, I want to ask you a very 
simple question : If you were a music teacher 
would you accept every one that applied to 
you as a pupil? ” 

“ Well — that depends.” 

“Precisely; providing you would not be 
deprived of that great boon and prerogative 
of your profession — asking questions.” 

“ I see ; well, Romeo, I think under cer- 
tain conditions I should not take every 
-one.” 

“JSTow, that is precisely wherein the diffi- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 1 35 

culty lies. Mr. Meloman has refused at least 
forty — the result of his advertising.” 

“ But, my dear boy,” remarked Alexander, 
“ it does not necessarily follow that such would 
invariably be the case.” 

“ No, but Mr. Meloman simply judges from 
his personal experience. He is not anxious to 
make a martyr of himself for your folly, nor 
will he be forced to teach any one against his 
will. He is perfectly satisfied with Chicago, 
but prefers to return to his own country in the 
far North.” 

“ There he is,” said Alexander, and going 
to the door admitted Mr. Meloman. 

“ Good evening, gentlemen. Mr. Snap, 
permit me to congratulate you.” 

‘‘ Don’t mention it.” 

Mr. Wildwood now suggested as it was 
nearly nine o’clock, that they proceed to their 
new game of cards. “ Theodore, take your 
hat and coat off the table. Mr. Meloman, 
have a seat.” 

“ What is the name of the new game that 
you propose to teach us?” inquired Mr. Mel- 
oman. 

“ Oriental euchre.” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


136 

“ Oriental euchre,” repeated Mr. Snap, 
“ whoever heard of that?” 

“ How is it played? ” inquired Romeo. 

“ Now, if you will just keep quiet a few 
minutes and listen I will explain. You may 
remember that the last time we met when Mr. 
Meloman left I suggested that it would be a 
good idea to adopt the Brahmin plan of divid- 
ing society into four different castes : BrMim- 
ana, Kshatriya, Vaisya and Sudra. These 
four castes will be represented by the four 
kinds of cards, viz., diamonds, clubs, hearts 
and spades. 

“The cards are thoroughly shuffled and 
dealt one at a time, beginning from the left. 

“When they have all been dealt, the one 
that gets the most diamonds is a Brahmana ; 
the one that gets the most clubs becomes a 
Kshatriya ; the one to whom hearts become 
most numerous develops into a Vaisya, and 
he who receives the largest number of spades 
assumes the less dignified title of Sudra. 

“ Brahmana is synonymous with Think. 

Kshatriya is synonymous with Fight. 

Vaisya is synonymous with Beg. 

Sudra is synonymous with Work. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


137 


“The cards are then dealt for partners. 
The first two of a like denomination become 
partners.” 

The cards were now dealt for colors and 
resulted in the quartette standing thus : 

Wildwood : Diamonds — Brahmana, Think. 

Hopsing : Clubs — Kshatriya, Fight. 

Snap: Hearts — Vaisya, Beg. 

Meloman : Spades — Sudra, Work. 

The cards were then dealt for partners and 
resulted in Wildwood and Meloman becoming 
paired against Snap and Hopsing. 

In cutting for the deal the lot fell to Mr. 
Snap, whom Mr. Wildwood instructed to deal 
to each seven cards, the first two rounds two 
cards, and the third and last round three cards 
to each player. 

It required four tricks to make a point. If 
you euchred your opponent or made a march 
it counted two points. In playing a lone hand, 
if you made a march or euchred your oppo- 
nent, you scored four points. 

When Mr. Snap dealt the cards as in- 
structed, he remarked to Mr. Wildwood : 

“Most worthy Brahmana, I suppose, that 
you are perfectly contented with the exalted 


138 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

position that the cards have assigned to you, 
and that you fully agree that diamonds are 
synonymous with thought.” 

“ Illustrious Vaisy a, I am firmly established 
in the belief that the mind should rule the 
body.” 

“And I,” emphatically remarked Mr. Snap, 
“ consider it the grandest honor to have the 
privilege of begging and pleading.” 

“Yes,” added Hopsing, “and if you will 
not listen to my honorable partner’s gentle 
voice, I will glory in the duty assigned to me 
of fighting.” 

“And by so doing,” replied Mr. Meloman, 
“you, my glorious Kshatriya, will furnish me 
with what I most delight in — work.” 

“Will the Vaisy a turn the trump?” sug- 
gested the Brahmana. 

They now began. It was Mr. Meloman’s 
first lead. He lead the nine spot of hearts, 
which Mr. Snap captured with the ten of 
hearts and considered it a cheap trick. 

Mr. Snap then lead the ten of clubs. Mr. 
Meloman followed with the five of spades. 
Mr. Hopsing threw down the nine of clubs, 
and Mr. Wildwood put down the eight of 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 1 39 

clubs, remarking as he did so : “ Spades are 
trumps.'’ 

“ But you did not take that trick,” replied 
Snap, ‘‘you old quintessence of rarified frig- 
idity.” 

“If my head is cold,” replied Mr. Wild- 
wood, “you will find that my feet are pretty 
warm.” 

“ But not warm enough to burn my cold 
hands,” and, suiting the action to the words, 
Romeo seized Alexander by the feet and stood 
him on his head. Mr. Meloman came to his 
partner’s rescue, while Snap also took part in 
the general scuffle. 

Panting and gasping for breath, Mr. Wild- 
wood resumed : 

“You don’t seem to catch on — you took the 
wrong pig by the ear.” 

“ Oh, I see ;” answered Romeo, “you ex- 
pect the Sudra to take all the tricks, while 
the Brahmana looks on in silent meditation.” 

“You did the proper thing,” remarked 
Snap. “It is an essential requisite for a 
Brahmana to have his head firmly rooted in 
the earth, with his feet toward the sky. That 
is the way that he grow's.” 


140 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“ If that is the case, my illustrious Vaisya,” 
replied Mr. Meloman, “permit me to express 
my sincere gratitude for my fundamental sup- 
port.” 

Condolingly addressing Mr. Snap, Romeo 
remarked : 

“Don’t look so disheartened, my dear 
Vaisya; a cannon ball will bring him down 
to terra firma — that will make him leave his 
home in the sky.” 

Addressing Mr. Meloman, Snap remarked : 

“ Your lead, etherial Sudra.” 

“Here is the ace of your insignia,” re- 
sponded Mr. Meloman. 

Romeo played the queen, and remarked 
that he would let his partner trump it. 

“ Mr. Wildwood followed with the jack. 

“Well, I suppose,” said Snap, “that I 
must follow suit with my king.” 

“Now, that is what I call a cheap trick,” 
said Wildwood, sarcastically. 

“Lead on Macduff, and cursed be he who 
first cries enough ! ” exclaimed Snap. 

“ Here is the ace of diamonds,” continued 
Mr. Meloman. 

“And here is the ace of clubs,” responded 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. I4I 

Romeo. “Your partner will follow suit; he 
surely won’t go back on his colors.” 

“Not on general principles,” answered 
Wildwood ; “ but when a Brahmana’s emblem 
is entrusted to a Sudra you may expect a 
change of tactics. Here is the jack of clubs.” 

“ Put on your right bower,” said Romeo. 

“ There is no use,” mournfully replied The- 
odore ; “I must follow suit with my queen of 
diamonds.” 

“ Euchre ! ” exclaimed Wildwood. 

“ Most glorious and heroic Kshatriya,” said 
Meloman, addressing Hopsing, “I had fully 
despaired when I found that my partner, our 
most wortlw Brahmana, had been upset — his 
head firmly rooted in the ground, his feet 
toward the sky, forming a fundamental sup- 
port for the Sudra, of whom, owing to his 
reversed and exalted position, so much was 
exacted. I repeat that I had fully despaired, 
but when you suggested to fire a cannon, you 
awakened me. I felt in duty bound to return 
from my etherial realm and meet you with your 
own weapons. Do you know that I should 
deeply regret to be called upon to play your 
funeral march?” 


142 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“Oh, I have something better than that,’^ 
said Snap, jumping up from his seat. “Wait 
till I get a piece of music that I heard Miss 
Rosamond Cain play the other day. Here it 
is. Mr. Meloman, please look at it.” 

“ What is the name of it?” inquired Alex- 
ander. 

“A Tempest in a Tea-pot,” replied Mr. 
Meloman. 

“Very clever,” remarked Romeo. 

“That is precisely what I thought when I 
heard Miss Rosamond play it,” said Theo- 
dore. 

“ You observe, Mr. Meloman, that our com- 
panion has a weakness for the fair sex,” said 
Alexander, apologizingly. 

“I admit that I have, and glory in it,” re- 
plied Theodore. “I have a sort of a vague 
notion that this very weakness will, some day, 
prove my greatest strength.” 

Mr. Meloman then played the “ Tempest 
in a Tea-pot” with considerable gusto. Be- 
fore leaving, he performed one of his trans- 
criptions on a Russian national melody, and 
concluded with Beethoven’s Shoo-fly sonata. 


THORNS. 


E rnest went to Chicago, and was suc- 
cessful the first week 5 he nearly doubled 
his capital, and felt new-born and in excellent 
spirits. Comparing the animated struggle for 
existence at the Chamber of Commerce and 
the Board of Trade with his solitary life, he 
wondered how he could have endured his 
confinement for so long a time. 

At the end of the second week Ernest lost 
more than he had gained during the first week, 
and at the end of the third week Ernest found 
himself bankrupt. 

The following week Ernest Hirsch called 
at Paul Beauchamp’s and requested him to 
make a bouquet, and when Ernest asked what 
the charges were, on being informed that they 
amounted to one dollar, he gave Paul the last 
dollar that he possessed. 

A few hours later Ernest found himself at 
Mr. Chase’s, absolutely penniless. 

Miss Eleanore was unusually radiant and 
happy to see Ernest on this particular morn- 
ing, and when he presented her with the bou- 
(» 43 ) 


144 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


quet Miss Eleanore could not conceal her 
sympathy for Ernest’s misfortune. 

Did Ernest deserve any sympathy? He 
conquered the demon Pride^ and was now de- 
termined that the slave Cowardice should not 
prevent him from doing his duty. Ernest had 
in mind a beautiful oil-painting representing 
our Christian martyrs in the Roman arena of- 
fering up prayers before being sacrificed to 
the wild beasts. How fierce and powerful 
the lion appears. At the right of him see the 
poorly-clad, venerable hero standing erect, 
his right hand raised toward heaven ; his face 
betrays no fear — but look at the faces of the 
men and women kneeling about him. See 
the agony and terror of the beastly death that 
is awaiting them depicted in their counte- 
nances. 

Do our anglomaniacs deserve sympathy for 
being dazzled by the pomp and splendor of 
royalty and euphonious titles, and so far for- 
getting themselves as noble American free- 
men as to express a wish for a similar state 
of affairs in our own beloved land? 

Are we quite certain that, with over twenty- 
one million acres of our land owned by En- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


H5 

glish lords and syndicates, we will always 
enjoy the liberty and freedom for which thou- 
sands of our American martyrs have sacrificed 
their lives ? 

Does the American colony of bankers and 
absconders in Canada deserve sympathy? 

“I have regretted,” said Ernest, “leaving 
you so hastily the last time that I called ; but 
unfortunately I became possessed with a con- 
gestion of ideas, and under the circumstances 
concluded that the best thing for me to do 
would be to get out into the open air, where 
I could breathe more freely.” 

“Are you jesting?” inquired Eleanore, 
doubtingly. 

“No, I am seriously in earnest. Ever since 
I first met you I have been haunted with your 
sweet, sad face. You may call it love. What- 
ever it is, I know it to be a power stronger 
than myself.” 

“And if you should ever lose faith in that 
power, it were better if we had never met.” 

Eleanore then took a volume of Jean Inge- 
low’s poems and read the following : 

“The snow lies white, 

The moon shines bright, 
lO I '11 out to the freezing mere, 


146 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


And ease my heart with one little song, 

For none will be nigh to hear ; 

And it’s O my love, my love. 

And it’s O my dear, my dear. 

It’s of her that I’ll sing till the wild woods ring, 

For none will be nigh to hear.” 

“ That is very beautiful. Eleanore, I will 
never lose faith in you. I have nothing to 
offer you but my heart and hands — will you 
be my wife? ” 

“You have my consent. I know that you 
have lost nearly everything, but I will be per- 
fectly willing to assist you, if necessary, by 
teaching.” 

Ernest and Eleanore then adjourned to the 
library, where they found Mr. Chase deeply 
engaged in reading. Mr. Chase, for several 
weeks, spent a good deal of time in his library. 
He was absorbed in a scientific study — the art 
of obtaining light and fuel from water. He 
firmly believed that some day the problem 
would be solved and reduced to a practical 
basis, and that we would go to the well for 
our light and fuel. 

M;*. Chase looked somewhat surprised when 
Ernest and Eleanore entered his study and 
interrupted his scientific investigations, par- 
ticularly when Ernest remarked : 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. I47 

“ Mr. Chase I have come to ask your con- 
sent to make Eleanore mv wife.” 

Mr. Chase regarded Ernest for a moment 
from above his eye-glasses, and said : 

“ Mr. Hirsch, I have no objection to make, 
excepting the fact that your mind has once 
been upset, and I should deplore a return of 
the symptom.” 

Ernest did not expect that a past misfortune 
would prove a Nemesis. Had he not suffi- 
ciently atoned for his misfortune? And did 
he not fully appreciate the value of mind? 

“You may appear to be justified in your 
objection,” said Ernest; “but I know why 
my mind became upset, and not being anxious 
to experience a return of the symptom, I 
resolved upon doing my duty.” 

On his return home the world did not pos- 
sess the same fascination for him as on the 
occasion of his last visit. He could not help 
recalling the past. Once more he beheld, 
with his mind’s eye, a pretty face, which, five 
years ago, had fascinated him. He was then 
only twenty-six, but had formed for the young 
lady an ardent attachment. 

Naturally of a social and generous nature, 


148 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

he had, on one unfortunate day, in company 
of genial companions, taken more wine than 
he was accustomed to, and, in a condition 
unfit to call on a lady — especially one for whom 
he had shown every evidence of love and 
respect — called, proposed, and, as a natural 
consequence, was rejected. 

Then followed a course of regret, remorse 
and despair, terminating in a two months’ con- 
finement at an insane asylum. 

The first two weeks were a complete blank. 
When his reason began to dawn, Ernest imag- 
ined that he had been transported to the far 
north. Looking out of the window, he could 
see nothing but the white snow and heavily 
snow-laden trees. He imagined that he was 
located near the north pole, and that the pa- 
tients in the ward to which he was assigned 
seemed to be corpses, whom the evil one had 
resurrected and brought to life by instilling 
into them his spirit. 

One morning one of the patients asked him ; 
“What were you doing in my room last 
night?” 

This question seemed to Ernest the propei 
one, coming, as he supposed, from a subject 


MUSICAL. CROTCHETS. 


149 


of the father of lies, and while continuing to 
labor under this hallucination, he concluded 
that the proper thing for him to do would be 
to refrain altogether from speaking the truth, 
so that, with a week’s practice, he felt himself 
the peer of the prince of falsehood. 

In memory he again lived through this most 
trying ordeal. All the absurd sayings and 
grotesque actions of the various patients pre- 
sented themselves vividly to his imagination. 
The attendants appeared to be a higher grade 
of demons, and to Ernest’s notion it seemed 
that they possessed the power of converting 
themselves into thunderbolts, and with the 
velocity of electricity transporting themselves 
with a flash into any city on the face of the 
earth. 

Hearing one of the attendants speaking 
about going to the city, Ernest begged him to 
take him along, as the novelty of being trans- 
ported through the air in the form of lightning 
would possess the charm of an entirely new 
experience, and would prove preferable to 
being incarcerated in a bleak and dismal polar 
dungeon. 

One evening, shortly after retiring, in im- 


150 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

agination the evil one appeared to him in the 
form of a monstrous black- winged apparition, 
saying : 

“ I am the genius of the earth. Worship me 
and I will unload the treasures of the earth at 
thy feet.” 

Then he heard the voice of the “ Genius of 
Love” sweetly whispering: 

“ Pay no attention to him, Ernest ; there is 
a Power greater and stronger than that vile 
wretch.” 

Then the evil one, in a demoniac laugh, 
continued : “ Ha ! ha ! here we have a victim 
of faith ; we will test his strength.” 

Presently the bedstead began shaking, and 
seemed to be surrounded with demons of a 
lower grade who began snoring in a most 
hideous manner, one of them audibly hissing : 
“ The sting of sin is death,” which was re- 
peated by the other demons, whose voices 
became fainter and fainter, until the sound 
was finally lost in a deathlike stillness. 

He now heard a clicking sound, which 
seemed to come from the farther end of the 
hall outside. At each sound it seemed as if a 
million fine needles had been sent through his 
head, penetrating the brain. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. I5I 

When this subsided, a strange and peculiar 
odor filled the cell, reminding him of a com- 
bination of hot burned earth and sulphur, and 
at every breath that he took his nostrils and 
lungs became scorched and parched from the 
intense and indescribably offensive heat. 

This was followed by the most mysterious 
and strange sounds on the walls, as if caused 
by monstrous wings being swept over them. 

Now began a combat of swords which 
seemed to be raging in the hall — how he 
finally lost consciousness, and, awakening, 
found himself surrounded by the physician 
and several attendants ; how the doctor in- 
formed him that he had passed a restless 
night, and at one time supposed him dead. 

And now began a struggle between intellect 
and emotion — God and nature. The weaker, 
as a natural consequence, must go under. 

Finally Ernest was declared in mens sana in 
corf ore sana; but he left the National Univer- 
sity, as he preferred to call the hospital, with 
a conviction that heaven, earth and hell were 
not so distantly separated. 




EL NAHUAL* 


Ah me, that I have dared to strive 
With fates that bore me to this one sure bliss 1 
Thou couldst not rob me, O lost love, of this ! 

— Helen Hunt Jackson. 

I N Tepetitlan, a small village, about seven 
“ leguas ” (ten miles) from San Juan de los 
Llanos, there is a weather-beaten and deserted 
cottage. The inhabitants avoid the place as 


*The real definition of the word “Nahual,’'as under- 
stood by the Mexican Indians, remains to this day a mys- 
tery. Riva Palacio, the most noted Mexican author, in his 
work entitled “Monja y Martyr, Virgin y Mujer Casada ”(Nun 
and Martyr, Maid and Wife), gives the following explana- 
tion ; “ The Nahual is supposed to bean Indian divinity — at 
times good and bad — which the Indians, although converted 
to Christianity for several centuries, still worship. All the 
different tribes, however widely separated and differing in 
minor essentials of creed, are unanimous on this one word, 
ascribing to it the same meaning.” Palacio continues : 
“ The Nahual, when appealed to, becomes an aid to revenge- 
ful, vindictive persons in accomplishing their hateful designs. 
His double nature of good and bad is believed to be a justi- 
fiable reason, for the just as well as the unjust, for worship- 
ing him. In appearance he is supposed to resemble a vam- 
pire — a myth in whose existence some of our greatest 
geniuses had a firm belief .” — A Mexican Indian Story by Don 
Frederico Primer, 


(153) 


154 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

much as possible. They say the house is 
haunted, and a tragedy is supposed to have 
occurred there. In vain I endeavored, for a 
long time, to get at the secret of the storj' ; 
but one day, having met with an accident 
while hunting, and being conveyed to the 
hacienda, in charge of a young Indian girl of 
fifteen summers, and after repeated solicita- 
tions, I succeeded in obtaining the following 
story from this lovable child of nature : 

It was midnight and very dark. A death- 
like silence pervaded ever3^thing. Even the 
large palm-leaf and shrubs and flowers which 
encompassed the cottages seemed spell-bound 
in their motionless aspect. 

Presently a faint rustling noise was heard, 
which seemed to emanate from a thicket 
which concealed a dried creek, when sud- 
denly a dark and slender figure appeared, 
like a tiger in search of prey, which, after 
nearing one of the cottages, concealed itself 
behind a tree. Soon after, a second figure 
appeared, which pursued the same course. 
This was soon followed by a third. 

“ Francisco ! 

“ Hush ! Come here ! 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


155 


“ Has he come? 

“ Not yet. 

The three young Indians spoke so softly 
that the most acute ear could not have over- 
heard them. 

“ So you will not believe that it is the ‘ Na- 
hual?’” 

“ I am here to be convinced.” 

“It seemed to me last night as if I had 
seen a pair of white hands underneath his 
bat- wings, but it seemed as if his step were 
too firm. When a child I remember seeing 
one, but was so overpowered with fright that 
I sank exhausted to the earth.” 

“ Have you spoken to Caridad, Francisco? ” 

“Yes, and she became pale and silent.” 

“Since when does he go to her cottage?” 

“ That I don’t know. I saw him last night 
accidentally on my return from the lagoon, 
where I had been hunting the ‘grullas ’ 
(crane).” 

“ And you suspected? ” 

“ Indeed, but — hush, I hear something ! ” 

Presently a faint and perceptible step was 
heard. After a few moments a terrible figure 
appeared within a few feet of the three con- 


156 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

cealed Indians. Slowly a pair of dragon-like 
wings unfolded from his shoulders, causing a 
fluttering sound. Above the wings a vulture- 
like head protruded, and two large blood- red 
eyes cast wild and furtive glances in all di- 
rections. The body was enveloped in a black, 
curly, fur-like covering, and the feet tapered 
into ponderous claws. 

The apparition approached, stopping at 
each second step. The motion of his wings 
became more audible. He disappeared around 
the little dwelling, and returning went to the 
window, opened it, entered and disappeared 
within the interior of the hut. 

“It certainly was the Nahual,” exclaimed 
one of the three Indian lads, trembling. “ I 
wanted to speak but could not, as my tongue 
seemed to cleave to the roof of my mouth.” 

“But I don't believe it,” said Francisco. 

“ There; I have again just seen the white 
hands.” 

“ I also saw them,” said the third. 

“Then we will wait till he comes out, and 
fire at him,” said Francisco. 

They waited silently for some time. Finally 
Francisco said: “It is useless to wait any 
longer, let us go.’’ 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 1 57 

The three young Indians started to go, and 
occasionally cast timid backward glances in 
spite of their determined efforts to master 
themselves. They could not prevent their 
limbs from trembling nor their lips from 
twitching. Again deep silence pervaded the 
whole neighborhood. 

* 

* * 

^'•Buenos dzas, zhadrecital'^^ 

'‘'‘Buenos dias, 'padrecitoB^ 

“ How did you sleep last night? ” he asked. 

“ Very bad, very bad, Sebastian; the Na- 
hual.” 

“By all the saints! what is all this talk 
about the Nahual?” The poor old Indian 
gazed in astonishment at the poor, pale-faced 
woman whom he met on his way through the 
woods, as she implored him not to speak the 
name on unconsecrated ground, but to proceed 
to the chapel. 

They entered the old church, and after 
piously crossing and sprinkling themselves 
with holy water, the old Indian woman con- 
tinued : 

“Yes, Sebastian, it is terrible. For eight 
consecutive nights the Nahual has appeared 


158 MUSICAL, CROTCHETS. 

at my house. As I lie praying and sleepless 
I suddenly see a huge dark shadow — hear a 
loud rustling — the window opens and he en- 
ters silently, and glidingly looks at me with 
his blood-red glowing eyes until the blood 
freezes in my veins, and then he vanishes into 
my daughter’s chamber.” 

“Your daughter, madrecita?” 

“Yes, Sebastian, my poor Caridad. The 
horrid vampire sucks her blood. Daily she 
becomes paler. Oh ! ” A flood of tears 
choked the voice of the poor old woman. 

“And does Caridad know anything about 
it?” asked Sebastian. 

“Nothing. She has never seen him, al- 
though she is so feeble and ill. Oh ! holy 
mother, don’t let her die. Guard and protect 
us from the Nahual ! ” 

The woman knelt, and Sebastian stood 
mournfully bowing beside her. After a pause, 
Sebastian asked her : 

“ Madrecita, have you done everything to 
keep him away?” 

“ Everything, everything, Sebastian. I had 
the priest consecrate the house, sprinkle the 
windows every evening with the tears of Saint 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


159 


Christobal.'*' Night before last I placed the 
large ivory crucifix at the window, but it was 
upset, making a terrific noise, as the Nahual 
entered, and now he is broken, the dear, lov- 
ing Savior.” 

Again tears channeled down the cheeks of 
the poor old woman. 

“That is sad,” replied Sebastian. “As 
long as I can remember, nothing has ever 
been heard of him in our village. Your daugh- 
ter is such a good girl, who could have sent 
the specter?” 

“I don’t know,” she replied. 

“Ave Maria Sanctissima ! ” was all that 
Sebastian ventured to say. 

Calmly and mournfully these two old people 
viewed the painfully realistic representation 
of the saints. At last Sebastian broke silence 
by remarking : 

“There goes your daughter. See how 
pale she is ! Let us follow her.” 

Caridad led them to a sugar plantation, 
through which they arrived at a mountainous 

*In every Indian village can be found statues of saints, 
made of porous stones, from whose eyes tears are supposed 
to flow every morning. It is believed that these tears are 
an infallible talisman against all sorts of evil spirits. 


i6o 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


country with deep ravines. Before descend- 
ing she hastily glanced in every direction. 

It was Sunday morning. All nature seemed 
to sleep, wrapped in the delicious dream so 
peculiar to the tropics. 

After arriving at the summit of the next hill, 
Caridad again listened ; but deep silence per- 
vaded everything as she entered a “ cedar 
grove.” She now placed her hand to her 
mouth and produced a long-drawn sound, 
resembling the cry of a falcon. This was 
soon answered by a similar sound, followed 
by a rustling noise proceeding from the bushes, 
from which a young Mexican came, clad in 
silver-embroidered garments, w^ho, with out- 
stretched arms, approached her. 

“ My dear Caridad, ever faithful and true,” 
he said, drawing her gently to his bosom, 
“ why — what is the matter, my angel ; thou 
seemeth so distracted? Look at me, Caridad, 
and don’t stare so at vacancy. Thou knowest 
that it pains me whenever I see thee looking 
sad. But, let us not remain in this vale ; let 
us ascend the mountain, to yonder ancient 
trees under which Montezuma reposed. There 
let us view the snow-capped mountain peaks 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


l6l 


shining brilliantly in the sunlight above the 
enveloping clouds. 

“ Caridad, sweet child, why art thou so 
silent? Art thou angry with me ? Speak to me,” 
he said, gently stroking her long black tresses. 

“ Don Antonio, you must remain away from 
me,” she replied, shaking her head. 

It is the custom among the Indians to make 
a distinction between “ thou ” and “you.” A 
white person addresses them “ thou ” and they 
address the whites “you.” Under no cir- 
cumstances do they place themselves on an 
equality with the whites, although the}^ enter- 
tain for them the most intense love, sacrifice 
their lives for them, and endure the most pain- 
ful hardships. No other nation presents a 
similar parallel. Generous and impulsive, the 
young Indian girl intoxicates her lover with 
her ravishing charms, overwhelms him with 
her love like a v/ell-laden tree whose supera- 
bundant ripe fruit falls to the earth and gra- 
tuitously supplies the wayfaring wanderer. 

The young foreigner started in amazement 
at the remarks of the girl. His cheeks flushed 
as he, in a trembling voice, asked: “Am I 
discovered? ” 


II 


i 62 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“ Not yet. Nobody knows that it is you 
who comes to me in the guise of the Nahual, 
but you were probably not sufficiently discreet. 
Indians are very revengeful, you know, and 
— you must not come again.” 

“ I know what thou reforest to, Caridad. I 
am aware that there are many of thy people 
who love thee. I know, also, that I am hope- 
lessly lost if I have been discovered. But 
thou sweet child, my dear girl, I will not de- 
sert thee. Wilt thou fly with me, Caridad, 
far away to my country? ” 

“ I can not, Don Antonio ; mother would 
die of hunger,” she replied. 

“Oh, if that is all, you may rest assured 
that I will provide for her in such a manner 
that she will never know want. Now art thou 
willing, sweet Caridad?” 

Again she refused, and said : 

“What could a poor, brown-faced Indian 
girl do in an enlightened foreign country, 
among the beautiful white women? They 
would laugh at me ; you would be ashamed 
of me and finally desert me. No, no, I will 
remain here.” 

Silently the young Indian girl gazed at the 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 1 63 

enchanting view before her. The distant mount- 
ain peaks, the cedar grove, whence a delicious 
perfume emanated, the slender palm trees and 
the luscious bananas, reaching the earth with 
their abundant fruit, millions of oranges and 
lemons greeted the eye. Beyond were large 
fields of rice and sugar-cane, and still beyond, in 
silent grandeur, as if lost in limitless space, the 
two volcanos Popocatepetl and Iztacchihuatl 
were dimly visible until the view was finally 
lost in the vast azure sky. 

What was the meaning of the sad expres- 
sion with which this young Indian maiden 
viewed the landscape? Was she conscious 
that the beautiful scene did not belong to her — 
that for many years it had been in the pos- 
session of avaricious foreigners, arid that she 
and her brothers and sisters were compelled 
to serve them as slaves? 

Her reverie was interrupted by the embraces 
and kisses of Antonio. 

“ Caridad, I will not desert thee,” he said, 
ardently. 

“ Hark ! ” she whispered. 

“ It is only the wind, my angel,” he replied, 
holding her hands firmly in his. 


164 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


She tore herself from him, begged him not 
to follow her, and ran away from him. An- 
tonio was puzzled, and could not surmise why 
she left so hastily. With the same acute sense 
of hearing with which an Indian is enabled to 
discern from a distance the creeping of a 
snake over dried leaves, she discovered the 
sound of footsteps softly approaching. She 
saw and heard a young Indian long before he 
was perceptible to Antonio or whom she was 
fully able to identify. Antonio endeavored to 
hear what they were talking about, but in 
vain. Not a syllable could he understand, and 
the suspense became painful. He wondered 
if the Indian came accidentally or through 
motives of jealousy. He knew that if he was 
discovered he was lost. 

After awhile the two Indians disappeared. 
Antonio waited a long time, but Caridad did 
not return. * 

* * 

Antoine Guerriere, or rather. Antonio Guer- 
rero, as he had been called since living in 
Mexico, was a Frenchman by birth, and had 
been living in Mexico about four years, occu- 
pying the position of manager in a manta* 


*A pale linen with which the natives wrap themselves. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


165 

factory. He conducted the business in such 
a manner that his employers gave him such 
promotion and advancement that he might 
have been in good circumstances. 

The first two years Antonio lived most of 
the time in the factory. His craving for ac- 
customed recreations he mastered by close 
application to business until he met the young 
Indian girl, when he again became possessed 
with an indescribable longing. He employed 
mostly villagers, among whom was Caridad, 
whose clear, black, loving eyes fascinated 
him at first sight and caused him involuntarily 
to shiver. 

For some time he had been endeavoring to 
speak to her secretly, and finally succeeded 
one day in meeting her in the Cedar Grove, 
when she informed him that she would will- 
ingly die for him.* She advised him to call 
and see her in the guise of the Nahual, as 
there would then be no objections made under 
those circumstances. 

The following Monday morning, after hav- 
ing called on her, he presented a pale and 

*The Indian maidens never speak the word “love,” as 
they hold it in such deep veneration. 


1 66 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

haggard expression, caused by passing a 
sleepless night in thinking about her. 

In this mood he went through the factory. 
First in the department where only the males 
were working. He was greeted by all hands, 
but he only gave attention to the tables where 
the friends of Caridad were employed. He 
suspected that they knew the reason why he 
was looking so depressed, and had some mis- 
givings as to the meaning of their black, glow- 
ing, revengeful eyes. 

Leaving them, he went through the depart- 
ment where the females were employed and 
where Caridad was stationed nearest the door. 
To-day he could not muster sufficient courage 
to look at her — felt as if all the Indian maid- 
ens were looking at him — poor Antonio ! 

At last their eyes met, but in hers was de- 
picted a picture of despair. With hesitating 
steps he sauntered away from her until, ar- 
riving at the farther end of the room, he 
reached two sewing-machines which were un- 
used. He now glanced back at her, expect- 
ing to get a token, but her eyes remained 
directed to the floor. This so enraged him 
that he became possessed with an intense feel- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 1 67 

ing of revenge against her and her tribe. He 
now began to realize the dangerous path he 
had been pursuing. Caridad lost — four years 
of his life thrown away, and become a subject 
of ridicule and derision — and wherefore ? But 
recalling one look, it became clear to him why 
his namesake gave the world for Cleopatra. 
He now again became calm and contented, 
and left the premises. But his restlessness 
returned as the day passed without bringing 
him any sign or tidings of Caridad. He felt 
himself oppressed with a weighty feeling of 
fear. A horrible foreboding haunted him. He 
became possessed with the idea that some 
dreadful monster was pursuing him and cast- 
ing a shadow on everything that surrounded 
him. 

The energy and push with which, for the 
past four years, he had managed his business 
became considerably enfeebled. He would 
now frequently take his rifle, go to the Cedar 
Grove, but did not see the game flying over 
his head or running past him. In vain the 
rabbits brushed by him as he made no effort 
to shoot, leaving his rifle suspended from his 
shoulder. He continued reclining on the 


1 68 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

rock, and recalled the incidents of yesterday, 
every word that Caridad had spoken, and re- 
membering her passionate glances he rushed 
frantically to the factory in the hope of seeing 
her again, but in vain. 

Toward six o’clock, the hour when the fac- 
tory hands were wending their way home- 
ward, he became delirious with anxiety. He 
sat at the window of his office and watched 
his employes passing. The men saluted him 
by taking off their hats, and the women greeted 
him with a faint ‘^buenos nochesJ' Caridad 
was the only one that did not seem to see him, 
as she was just then conversing very intently 
with another Indian girl. 

It was now dark, and Antonio still lingered 
at the window without arriving at any definite 
conclusion. It was only when the mosquitoes 
surrounded him in great swarms that he got 
up and closed the window. Thought after 
thought, in rapid succession, bewildered his 
brain, so that he began trembling with fear at 
himself. He was about to rush for the open 
air, when a clicking sound at the window 
attracted his attention. He opened the win- 
dow with trembling hand, when a white object 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 1 69 

flew into the room. He picked it up and lit 
the lamp. It was a message, wrapped about 
a stone, containing three words ; “ Huza V. 
Caridad” (Fly, Antonio Caridad). He hast- 
ened to the window, and imprudently called 
her name, but received no answer. Silence 
and darkness only greeted him. Belshazzar’s 
handwriting on the wall, “Mene, mene, Tekel, 
Upharsin,” had no greater terror for him than 
the three words had for Antonio. He repeat- 
edly read them. To be reminded of danger 
without a clue as to avoiding it is purely an 
Indian method of dealing. Thus his career 
in Mexico would soon come to an end. Rest- 
ing his head in one hand, and crushing the 
bit of paper with the other, he became lost in 
reverie. He recalled his happy home in 
France ; his parents, brothers and sisters, and 
the many pleasant recollections of by-gone 
days presented themselves vividly to his im- 
agination. He reviewed his journey from 
France to Mexico, and his arrival at his new 
home, the many difficulties which he con- 
quered, terminating in his love for the Indian 
girl, wild and deep like many poisonous trop- 
ical plants, which intoxicate and kill. 


170 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


The young dreamer now began to realize 
that this was a question of life or death. Ris- 
ing from his seat, he brought his clenched fist 
forcibly on the table, exclaiming : ‘ ‘ Certainly, 
if they seek my life, I will show them at 
what price it shall be sacrificed.” He threw his 
serafe over his shoulder, placed his pistol in 
his pocket, and left the factor}^ It was one 
of those peculiar dark Mexican nights ; the 
dim outlines of the palm trees appeared like 
distant specters, the occasional faint gleam of 
a star resembling the will-o’-the-wisp, and the 
mysterious sounds of darkness awed him. 

In his present mood Antonio saw in every 
tree a phantom. At one time he felt certain 
of seeing an Indian with fiery-glowing eyes, 
but all proved to be mere illusion. Presently 
he again noticed what he supposed to be an- 
other optical illusion, but which, in reality, 
proved to be a real figure. Antonio seized his 
pistol, but a faint “ p’st” changed his resolve. 

The figure advanced. It was Caridad. He 
pressed her to his bosom and passionately 
kissed her. “ Caridad, my angel, I knew 
that I would meet you again.” 

“Hush, for pity sake!” she exclaimed, 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 171 

reminding him of his dangerous surroundings. 
‘‘Follow me and I will lead you to a place 
where you will be secure.” 

They started on their journey through a 
ver}' narrow and dangerous road. The girl 
took his hand and safely led him over the 
most dangerous places, tenderly regarding 
him. At the end of an hour they arrived at 
a small lake, surrounded by large rocks. 
These were the remnants of what had once 
been an immense volcano. They entered a 
grotto, in which the splashing of the waves 
was faintly heard, and the screeching of the 
hawk resounded in the distance. Neither 
ventured to say a word, as they seemed afraid 
to speak. Finally Caridad said : 

“ You must fly this night.” 

“You have written to me, dearest, and this 
uncertainty perplexes me. What did you 
mean? ” 

“Yesterday you saw Francisco enter the 
grove.” 

‘ ‘ I did not recognize him. Did he see me ? ” 

“ He saw you.” 

Again there was a lull. Antonio now real- 
ized that there was no use recalling the past, 


172 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


and that he was to be forever separated from 
his loved one. His fate was doomed. He 
ROW looked to the future. 

“Is there no hope?” he asked. 

“ To-night there is still hope, but to-morrow 
it will be too late. I will not leave you until 
you are perfectly secure. No harm will hap- 
pen to you on our journey, because the others 
know that they would be obliged to kill me 
first, and they would not do that. If their 
hate for you is great, greater ” * * * * 

She did not finish the sentence. 

“Greater is their love for thee, thou in- 
tended saying. I can’t blame them for want- 
ing to get rid of me. And now listen to my 
last request : Wilt thou fly with me, Caridad?” 

“ No, Don Antonio,” she firmly replied. 

“Very well, then I will also remain, hap- 
pen what may.” 

Presently he felt a pair of slender arms gently 
surrounding him, and the imprint of a long- 
drawn Emma Abbott kiss on his parched lips. 
It was the first, and he also knew that it would 
be the last. At last Caridad said : 

“You have expressed to me a longing for 
your parents, and brothers and sisters. You 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


173 


must return to them, but I can not go with 
you. You may not understand it, but it is 
nevertheless true. We Indians are riveted to 
our soil like the agavanza^ which only thrives in 
Mexico. I w^ould die a hundred deaths on the 
journey from longing and pain and shame, 
w'hile here I would only die once — a rapid and 
certain death. I beseech you, Antonio, to 
return to your own country. This is my ear- 
nest and last wish. If you can promise me that 
you will sometimes remember that here, so 
far away, there still beats for you a faithful 
heart, I will feel fully rewarded.” 

The youth wanted to make a reply, but 
could find no words with which to express 
himself. The walls of the grotto echoed his 
sighs. Finally he said : 

“Say not so, say not so. Caridad, thou 
wilt break my heart. Oh, misery ! thou wilt 
not come with me, nor realize that away from 
thee I will die a thousand deaths.” 

She gently placed her hands in his, and 
said, with a mournful smile: 

“ Don Antonio, the Nahual always demands 
a sacrifice, and if we complain too bitterly he 
will demand a second. Let us content our- 


174 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

selves if this, our separation, proves to be his 
full demand. It is, now time for you to go. 
This way leads through a mountainous coun- 
try to a railroad depot. I will accompany 
you there. You must not return to the fac- 
tory, for the door-keeper is not to be trusted. 
Perhaps — if after many years you find no other 
Caridad and return here — come, let us go.” 
******* 

The following morning at six o’clock the 
workmen assembled at the factory. But to- 
day the bell was not rung, and no smoke em- 
anated from the chimney. The door-keeper 
was at the entrance. ^^Elamono esta aqut’^{\hQ 
master is not here), he said, in a loud voice, 
then whispered to Francisco, his colleague, 
that Antonio had disappeared and had not 
ventured to return to the factory the preced- 
ing evening. 

“Caridad has permitted him to escape,” 
growled Francisco, gnashing his teeth. “Pos- 
sibly,” he continued, “he is still secreted in 
the mountains. We will most assuredly dis- 
cover our Nahual.” 

After consulting with a party of Indians 
they separated, taking different routes. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 1 75 

“ Where in the world is Caridad? ” inquired 
the door-keeper.” 

“I will soon find out,” answered Francisco, 
hastening from the premises. 

***** * 

An hour later the bell was mournfully toll- 
ing at the little chapel. A funeral cortege 
was nearing the village. No one had heard 
of any one dying. “ Who can it be?” was 
asked by many of the inhabitants, who were 
hurrying to the chapel. The little building 
was too small to seat them all ; outside there 
was a large crowd. 

“ Who is it? ” some of them asked. 

“ Can you not find out? ” 

Ask those in front.” 

Presently an old Indian was observed ap- 
proaching. 

“Make room for Sebastian,” said many 
voices. 

The old man forced his way through the 
crowd into the interior of the chapel. There, 
lying upon a bier adorned with flowers, orange 
blossoms and palm leaves, he recognized Car- 
idad. Her beautiful olive-colored face im- 
pressed one as being asleep by the natural 


176 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


and sweet smiling expression of her mouth. 
The poison had rapidly done its work without 
effacing in the least her last emotion. 

Sebastian lingered long, in a bewildered 
and perplexed state, viewing the remains 
without arriving at any surmise as to the cause 
of her sudden death. Presently he observed 
a poor old Indian woman approaching him, 
who finally threw herself into his arms, and in 
a shrill and plaintive voice, exclaimed : 

“Oh! Sebastian! Sebastian! the Nahual 
has killed her.” 



MILK DIET. 


HEN Ernest Hirsch arrived at the vil- 



V V lage drug store, he entered the corner 
rendezvous to provide himself with some 
cigars with which to solace himself in his 
agitated frame of mind. As he entered, he 
recognized three of his friends, who were 
standing in front of the soda fountain — The- 
odore Snap, Prof. Jacob Abel, and Alfred 
Marquette. At the sight of his cousin Al- 
fred just then, Ernest, whose nerves had been 
strained to their utmost, became bewildered 
as the thought flashed across his memory that, 
only for Alfred, he would never again have 
gone through the fiery ordeal, and, losing con- 
sciousness, Ernest swooned and fell heavily 
on the floor. Alfred, as soon as he had seen 
Ernest fall, hastened to his relief, and by 
placing him flat upon his back, and calling to 
the druggist to fetch him a preparation in 
which spirits of ammonia was the principal 
Jngredient, poured it down Ernest’s throat, 
and thus revived him, in a few minutes, to a 
state of consciousness. 


12 


(177) , 


178 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


As soon as Ernest had sufficiently recovered, 
Alfred accompanied him to his home. Alfred 
had not the remotest idea of the inward strug- 
gle that Ernest was experiencing, and on their 
wa}^ Alfred kept up a continual discourse on 
the topic of base-ball, on which subject Ernest 
was not in the least familiar. He advised 
Ernest not to worry unnecessarily over his 
losses, and to take a great deal of rest for 
several weeks, and prescribed as a diet a 
bowl of milk three times a day, and advised 
him to take as much sleep as possible. 

Ernest thanked Alfred for exhibiting such 
an interest in his welfare, and assured him that 
he only needed a little rest, that he had been 
keeping late hours for the past week, but 
promised to abstain for awhile, and follow 
Alfred’s prescription regarding the milk diet. 

How many cases of insanity might easily 
be avoided if physicians would only make it 
a more thorough study, and, instead of pre- 
scribing chloral and ether, thereby often caus- 
ing hopeless cases of insanity, they would 
recommend Alfred Marquette’s simple remedy 
of milk and sleep ! 

The thought that pained Ernest most was 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


179 


that his intellect had been challenged. He 
knew that it was an impossibility to lose some- 
thing that we never possessed, and that we 
often don’t fully appreciate our friends until 
after we have lost them. 

Ernest was deserving of some consideration 
for indulging in a little pride for recovering 
what he had lost, and which he therefore 
valued very highly. 

During his whole life Ernest had been pure 
and chaste. The early teachings of his mother, 
who was a model of Christian virtues and 
womanhood, had made an indelible impression 
upon him. He was, nevertheless, not unfa- 
miliar with the ways of the world — knew the 
ultimate results of the different paths of life 
that are pursued through choice or inclina- 
tion, or force of circumstances. Remember- 
ing that they had a debating club, it occurred 
to him that, as the stability of his mind had 
been doubted, it would be an appropriate place 
for him to read a paper on the subject of “ In- 
sanity, its cause and the abuse of its treat- 
ment.” 

Although an ardent admirer of Victor Hugo, 
Ernest Hirsch could not approve of the great 


l8o MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

French poet's endeavor to justify prostitution. 

How many battles have been fought where 
more strength and courage was required than 
all the renowned warriors of the earth ever 
dreamed of by legions of unknown, unsung 
and uncrowned heroes — without whom life 
would either be intolerable or utterly impos- 
sible ! 


ORATORIO OF THE CREATION. 



‘HEODORE SNAP, Alfred Marquette' 


-L and Prof. Jacob Abel were warm friends. 
They knew that they each possessed an ardent 
affection for Miss Rosamond Cain. This cir- 
cumstance, instead of creating a feeling of 
jealousy among them, only tended to rivet 
their friendship more firmly. 

Alfred Marquette determined to lead a more 
useful life, and, through Mr. Hezekiah Clay’s 
influence, succeeded in obtaining a situation 
in the same queens ware establishment in which. 
Mr. Clay was employed. 

Prof. Jacob Abel read the glowing accounts^ 
in the papers regarding Theodore Snap’s suc- 
cess as a pleader at the bar of justice, and. 
concluded that he would also make an attempt 
to gain distinction. He finally decided upon, 
giving a lecture and concert at Crosby’s Opera- 
house, in Chicago, secured the hall for the 
evening of May 3d, and made every prepara- 
tion to make at least the musical part of the* 
programme a success. 


(181) 


i 82 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


The aftair was judiciously advertised, and 
as it was for the benefit of the orphan asylum, 
and many philanthropic people had interested 
themselves in selling tickets, it is not surpris- 
ing that the hall was filled to its utmost capac- 
ity, and many were disappointed in not being 
enabled to even find standing room. 

The first part of the programme consisted 
of a lecture which was entitled, “ The Mission 
of Music.” The following is an extract: 

“To form an idea of the universality of 
music, it is only necessary to consider that, 
were we to bring together a number of people 
from all parts of the earth, no two speaking 
the same language, but who have been taught 
to read music and perform on the different 
musical instruments, give them a composition 
to perform which none of them has ever seen, 
and which is copied from the original manu- 
script, which has not been translated into 
their various languages, they will converse 
together intelligently and produce harmony. 

“ There is not an emotion or thought that a 
human being is capable of conceiving that 
can not be, or has not been, expressed in 
music. Sorrow would never be mistaken for 


MUSICAL, CROTCHETS. 1 83 

joy, and so on throughout the various pairs 
of opposites. 

“ During the rebellion, at the meeting of a 
British and an American man-of-war, on the 
former the band began playing ‘Dixie ; ’ after- 
ward Uncle Sam’s band struck up ‘ The Wear- 
ing of the Green.’ Not a word was spoken, 
but there was no mistaking the thoughts that 
actuated the performance. 

“ Here the conversation ceased, but it would 
have been in good taste for the British band 
to have continued with ‘The Star-Spangled 
Banner,’ and there is not the slightest doubt 
but that the American band would have re- 
sponded with ‘God Save the Queen.’ 

“Again, in the early spring of 1863, when 
the Confederate and Federal armies were con- 
fronting each other on the opposite hills of 
Spottsylvania, two bands chanced, one even- 
ing, at the same hour, to begin to discourse 
sweet music on either bank of the river. A 
large crowd of soldiers of both armies gath- 
ered to hear the music, the friendly pickets 
not interfering, and soon the bands began to 
answer each other. First, the band on the 
northern bank would play ‘ Star-Spangled 


184 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

Banner,’ ‘ Hail Columbia,’ or some other na- 
tional air, and at its conclusion the ‘ boys in 
blue ’ would cheer most lustily. And then the 
boys on the southern bank would respond with 
‘ Dixie ’ or ‘ Bonnie Blue Flag,’ or some other 
southern melody, and the ‘boys in gray’ would 
attest approbation with the old Confederate 
yell. But presently one of the bands struck 
up, in sweet and plaintive notes, which were 
wafted across the beautiful Rappahannock, 
and were caught up at once by the other band 
and swelled into a grand anthem, which 
touched every heart, ‘ Home, Sweet Home ! ’ 
At the conclusion of this piece there went up 
' simultaneous shout from both sides of the 
river; cheer followed cheer, and those hills, 
which had so recently resounded with hostile 
guns, echoed and re-echoed the glad acclaim. 
A chord had been struck, responsive to which 
the hearts of enemies — enemies then — could 
beat in unison, and on both sides of the river. 

“Music is essentially a creative art. Can- 
nons are very good auxiliaries for producing 
musical effects, but, as instruments of destruc- 
tion, ought to be regarded as relics of bar- 
barism.” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 185 

Pausing a moment, Prof. Jacob Abel took 
his handkerchief and wiped the beads of per- 
spiration from his florid bald head, and, glanc- 
ing at his audience, he recognized Mr. Alex- 
ander Wildwood, who occupied a seat in the 
front row. This caused the professor to smile 
faintly, then, in a firm voice, he continued : 

“ The ancient Chinese rulers had a high 
appreciation of music. They had the art 
taught in order that the straightforward shall 
yet be mild, the gentle dignified, the strong 
not tyrannical, and the impetuous not arro- 
gant. 

“ Many regard music as an efieminate art. 
Nothing can be further removed from the 
truth. Music is not only a very manly, but 
the only essentially masculine, art. All our 
great composers are men. All other arts 
number among them women who are great. 
Is it because they have not had equal oppor- 
tunities? 

“Can you imagine anything more pitiable 
than an expert but illiterate musician, or any- 
thing more deplorable than an intellectual 
giant, or literary person, entirely devoid of 
all sense and appreciation for art? ” 


1 86 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

Again Prof. Jacob Abel paused long enough 
to meet the perplexed look of Alexander 
Wildwood. 

“ Music has also been defined as the hand- 
maid of religion. 

“If to teach man to regard woman as the 
most lovable of God’s creations, and to unite 
with poetry, as defined by Goldsmith, in his 
‘ Deserted Village ’ — 

‘And thou, sweet Poetry, thou loveliest maid. 

Still first to fly where sensual joys invade — 

Unfit in these degenerate times of shame 
To catch the heart, or strike for honest fame.’ 

If to unite with poetry and become one — 
the union of music and poetry — poetry crushed 
to the earth, calling with her womanly and 
plaintive voice, answered by music coming to 
meet her, and extending to her his hand to 
lift her up ; if by this ‘ handmaid ’ is under- 
stood to be meant, it is in perfect accord with 
the principles of music ; but, under no cir- 
cumstances, was music ever intended to be 
used as a means to bring men and women at 
the feet of any spiritual despot. 

“ If I had a choice in the matter, but were 
compelled to choose one of two things, I 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 1 87 

would prefer to kneel to a real, true woman, 
in preference to a man in woman’s disguise.” 

Dr. Holland, in one of his satires, ridicules 
the idea of a woman singing bass. I remem- 
ber often in passing a church while they were 
singing — congregational singing — that inva- 
riably an involuntary shudder overcame me. 
For a long time I did not know to what cause 
to attribute the effect. Finally it dawned 
upon me that the people within the church 
were singing in unison, and, as a matter of 
course, the basses were singing soprano. I 
then could not but help thinking that it was 
about as ridiculous for a bass to attempt to 
sing soprano as it was for a woman to sing 
bass. 

Music is the universal teacher and inter- 
preter of love. The composer Carl Maria 
von Weber defined music as love itself. 

Emerson never realized how “astonished 
and overpowered ” Bach must have been 
when he composed the Passion music. 

The history of Catholics and Protestants 
killing one another and set to music by a Jew — 
Meyerbeer’s “Huguenots” — appears laugh- 
able compared with Mendelssohn’s reviving 


1 88 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

Bach’s Passion music after a century of ob- 
livion. 

The question is asked: “What right have 
musicians to trespass upon the territory of law 
and theology?’’ Trespass, indeed! I have 
in mind a member of the legal profession who 
had an organist — a deserving man with a fam- 
ily — removed from his situation in order to 
make room for him, the non-trespassing law- 
yer, who, after playing a year gratis, resigned, 
and gave as his reason the unique statement 
that during the year his gratuitous organ per- 
formance had not procured for him a single 
client. The aim of music is to bring peace 
and good will on earth. Why do our military 
commanders trespass upon the territory of 
music with bugle-calls to give their commands ? 
Why don’t they exercise their heroic lungs 
and yell with all their might, and at least 
make an attempt, independent of music, to 
make themselves heard and understood? 
Was it in good taste for a minister, at a public 
gathering in a public hall, to push aside his 
organist — who performed well enough to ac- 
company a large chorus — in order to give 
him the exquisite gratification of accompany- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


189 

ing a soprano solo? By what right came a 
minister to essay writing a book on the sub- 
ject of music and morals? 

All things considered, is it unreasonable to 
assert that the ultimate destiny of music is to 
unite all the inhabitants of the earth into one 
common brotherhood?” 

Part II. consisted of selections from Haydn’s 
oratorio of The Creation, beginning with the 
chorus, “The Heavens are Telling.” 

Prof. Jacob Abel had planned to give a 
practical illustration of the theories that he 
advocated. By dint of diligent application 
and perseverance he succeeded in bringing 
together a chorus which, from a purely cos- 
mopolitan point of view, had never bee* 
equaled. Nearly all the different nationalitie. 
of the earth were represented — English 
French, German, Italian, Spanish, Danish, 
Swedes, Swiss, Scotch, Irish, Hebrews, Chi- 
nese, Negroes, Esquimaux and Zuni Indians, 
Arabs, Persians, Turks, Siamese and native- 
born Chicagoese. 

Every member of this unique chorus sang 
in his or her native tongue, producing a vari- 
ety of verbal effects without marring the har- 
mony. 


190 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


The affair was a complete success, musically 
and financially. They realized over two thou- 
sand dollars for the orphan fund, and from 
that day Prof. Jacob Abel’s reputation was 
established. 


A NEW MINISTER. 


D OMINE DINKSKIRCHEN entertained 
for some time a secret longing for fame. 
For years he lived in hopes of legitimately ac- 
complishing his purpose, but finding that the 
task was a hopeless one, he conceived the plan 
of becoming associated with a scandal, and 
thus suddenly attaining his much-coveted 
prize. In this respect he was eminently suc- 
cessful. He had been gently but firmly re- 
quested to resign his position at Hazeldel, 
which he did with commendable grace, and 
then started out on a lecturing tour. 

To form an idea of the ovation that was 
given him in one of the Eastern cities, we 
copy the following from a Boston paper : 

“ Domine Dinkskirchen talked to about 
eight thousand people at Mechanics’ Hall on 
Sunday night. His talk was addressed to 
barbers, to whom he sent postal-cards, invit- 
ing them to be present. ‘ I don’t know,^ said 
the domine, ‘whether Adam shaved, but from 
the earliest records we learn that men used the 
razor and trimmed their beards. There is a 
(191) 


19- MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

certain charm about antiquity, and you must 
feel that your art has ennobled you because 
of its antiquity. In olden times barbers wore 
swords, and were the confidants of kings. It 
is a good thing to feel that there is such a 
thing as royalty in one’s business. Every 
generous impulse of the barber ought to be 
stirred to know that his profession extends so 
far back in history. The Bible speaks often 
of it, but never once to its discredit. I found 
in the Bible where the Lord once likened him- 
self to a barber ; In the same day shall the 
Lord shave with razors.’ The speaker then 
gave the barbers some good advice. He told 
of his experience in scraping his face with a 
razor, and exhibited the strop which he used 
on that occasion. After expatiating upon this 
at some length, he said : 

“ ‘ I know no better use to make of it than 
to give it to the reporters, who have said so 
many bad things about me. I will give it to 
them, and they can put it in the papers, too.’ 
He struck an attitude, and, with a dramatic 
gesture, cast the strop at the reporters. The 
strop hit one of them on the ear, and then fell 
off the table. The thousands in the assembly 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


193 


fairly howled themselves hoarse with delight, 
and rose up in their seats to see what the re- 
porters would do. The stamping of feet, clap- 
ping of hands and whistling did not cease for 
fully five minutes. One of the women adorn- 
ing a seat in the front row clapped her hands, 
and said, in a hoarse whisper, ‘ He served you 
just right, you horrid things. I only wish 
that it had been a razor he flung at you.’ 

“After the benediction, Domine Dinkskir- 
chen explained that what he did was prompted 
by one of the flashes of humor which sometimes 
stropped through his brain, and he meant it 
only as a joke.” 

The Rev. Elijah MacMillan was installed 
as pastor in the little church at Hazeldel 
made vacant by Domine Dinkskirchen. 

For his first sermon Mr. MacMillan selected 
for his subject the first verse of the thirteenth 
chapter ist Corinthians: “Though I speak 
with the tongues of men and of angels, and 
have not charity, I am become as sounding 
brass or a tinkling cymbal.” 

In appearance the Rev. Elijah MacMillan 
did not suggest a worldly man, or one racked 
with any vain ambition for temporal advance- 
13 


194 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


ment. He gave one the impression of being 
sincere in all that he said or did, and seemed 
to be blessed, as a reward for his devotion to 
his calling, with the sublime peace that pass- 
eth understanding. 

During the sermon, Mr. MacMillan nar- 
rated an experience that he had several years 
ago while at Paris. 

Desiring to go into a disreputable section 
of the suburbs, where no religious services 
had been held, because the people would not 
allow them, Mr. MacMillan went there one 
Sunday morning. The small room was 
crowded, but from the beginning disturbances 
of cat-calls and the noise of shuffling feet 
came from the audience. During the singing 
every one sang in a key of his own, and when 
Mr. MacMillan began to read the Bible a 
great part of the crowd, headed by a burl}^ 
rufflan, left the room. The rufflan, on reach- 
ing the door, turned and said : “We want no 
religion here, and more, we will not have it. 
You can’t carry on your meetings, and if you 
come again we will break up your meeting 
and kill you.” 

A few days later Mr. MacMillan had a 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 1 95 

children’s gathering, and at its close they said 
to him : 

‘‘Monsieur is at the caf(6 across the street. 
He will kill you. Oh, Mr. MacMillan,” they 
pleaded, “go out by the side door, and do 
not let him see you.” 

Mr. MacMillan had with him his little boy, 
and, taking the lad by the hand, left the room 
by the front door. Going across to the cafe, 
he entered, and found the ruffian sitting at the 
table. 

“You threatened to kill me,” said Mr. 
MacMillan. 

“Yes.” 

“I am here to be killed.” 

The man was startled, and did not know 
what to reply. He repented of his threat 
when Mr. MacMillan said : 

“ My revenge is different from yours ; it is 
that of peace. Go, my son, and get on that 
man’s lap ; throw your arms about his neck 
and kiss him.” 

The lad did so. The ruffian burst into tears, 
and exclaimed : 

“Mr. MacMillan, you have conquered me. 
You shall come back and hold your meet- 
ings.” 


196 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

At present the station in that quarter is one 
of the mission’s greatest success. 

Mr. MacMillan became particularly elo- 
quent when speaking of the Christian virtue of 
forgiveness. He deplored the fact that there 
were men in the ministry who subjected them- 
selves to the greatest appeal to one’s charity ; 
“but, after all,” said he, “they are only 
human.” 

Speaking of love that had its origin in self- 
ish and worldly desires, and the utter inabil- 
ity of any human law to fully overpower and 
conquer it — law that could only create fear, 
but was of itself helpless in reaching the in- 
ward source of evil — Mr. MacMillan was of 
the opinion that love must be met by love — 
that only a sublime and greater love could 
overpower and master a lesser one. 

He spoke very touchingly of a little tribute 
to love that his sister Minerva had rendered 
to one of her pupils. The preceding summer, 
while at Marquette, in the upper peninsula of 
Michigan, Miss MacMillan visited the grave 
of Father Marquette. Remembering that she 
had a young lady pupil who was of his faith. 
Miss MacMillan plucked an immortelle from 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. I97 

the grave of Father Marquette, and, arriving 
at home, she presented it to her pupil. 

This was only a very little, though beauti- 
ful, souvenir, but no amount of gold would 
have been as much appreciated ; and Miss 
MacMillan felt amply rewarded for her 
thoughtfulness and consideration when she 
learned that this little act of kindness had 
caused her pupil to love her more than any 
one on earth. 



SUNRISE. 



RNEST HIRSCH arrived at the conclu- 


J ' sion that grieving over misfortunes was 
a useless waste’ of time. He was aware that 
there was no business for which he was better 
qualified than railroading. He wrote to the 
president of the road of which he was formerly 
himself president, applied for a situation in 
one of the departments, and received an an- 
swer with an offer for a situation that would 
pay him fifteen hundred dollars a year. This 
he accepted, and made every preparation for 
leaving Hazeldel the following week. 

Looking out of the window, he saw his cousin 
Alfred coming across the lawn. Alfred had 
demonstrated one fact, i. ^., that it is possible 
for man to entertain a feeling of brotherly love 
and sympathy for a fellow man without de- 
generating into mere insipid sentimentality 
or emasculated pity. 

Alfred’s face beamed with joy as he handed 
Ernest a letter from Miss Eleanore Chase. 
The contents were to this effect : 

Dear Ernest : Can not you call before leaving for the 
East ? I would like ever so much to see you once more. 


(199) 


Eleanore. 


200 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


Would Ernest have been justified in yer- 
mitting pride to conquer his love? The world 
would have applauded his conduct if he had 
utterly ignored love’s call. Under the cir- 
cumstances, he had no other choice than to go. 

With Alfred, who accompanied him, the 
drive of four miles seemed scarcely more than 
a mile. Arriving at Mr. Chase’s, they found 
Eleanore and Mrs. Chase at home. Mr. Chase 
had gone to the city on business. 

Mrs. Chase regretted to learn that Ernest 
had determined to leave their midst, and while 
Mr. Marquette entertained her in the drawing- 
room with his unique flow of wit and humor, 
Ernest and Eleanore adjourned to the green- 
house. Here the first plant that attracted 
Ernest’s attention was the digitalis which he 
had obtained at Paul Beauchamp’s and had 
sent to Miss Chase. 

Who will deny that every plant expresses 
some idea? Man prides himself upon his 
botanical learning. When a dumb brute ac- 
cidentally partakes of some poisonous plant, 
its natural instinct will direct it to an antidote, 
which nature has always supplied in close 
proximity. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


201 


Miss Eleanore arranged a daintily-assorted 
button-hole bouquet, and, presenting it to Er- 
nest, suggested that they take a stroll to the 
adjoining woodland. 

Arriving there, they rested themselves on a 
fallen tree which had recently been, struck by 
lightning, and which made an excellent sub- 
stitute for rustic chairs. 

Miss Eleanore now expressed a wish that 
she would prefer to live in the city ; living in 
the country became very monotonous to her 
at times, and she could not see what pleasure 
or satisfaction it could afford to those who had 
lived in large cities most of their lives. 

Ernest did not agree with her. He fancied 
that Shakespeare saw more beauties in nature 
and solitude, and that to him even trees spoke 
a language. He drew her attention to a scene 
in the “ Tempest ” where Ferdinand is de- 
scribed bringing a log for the fire. Miranda 
meets him and gently requests him to put it 
down and rest himself, and that she feared 
that when the log burned it would weep for 
having wearied him. 

Presently Eleanore discovered a beautiful 
little red spider on Ernest’s coat-sleeve. 


202 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“This,” she said, “ is a sign that it will bring 
you good luck.” But Ernest entertained no 
superstitious ideas, and gave it no further 
thought. 

Eleanore now directed Ernest’s attention to 
the root of the tree where the lightning had 
struck — the scorched charcoal circular scar 
that the bolt had produced, and the clear, 
white splinters which had not yet become 
tanned from exposure. 

A short distance from this tree they found 
another which had also been struck by light- 
ning, and going a short distance farther, they 
saw a third tree which had become completely 
withered. Sauntering a little farther, they 
came to a tree at which Ernest paused as if 
riveted by a superhuman force. 

Here was also a lightning-struck tree. The 
bolt had excavated the tree near the roots for 
about eight feet, making a hollow semicircle, 
which was lined with a charcoal crust. It 
was a beautiful large tree, and the far-extend- 
ing branches were green with leaves, casting 
a delightful shade for fully twenty feet in cir- 
cumference. 

Ernest drew Eleanore’s attention to this 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


203 


remarkable freak in nature, and, making a 
comparison, expressed himself as feeling re- 
lated to this tree — felt as if he were a brother 
to the proud beech — as, metaphorically, it rep- 
resented a complete counterpart of himself. 

“ Eleanore,” he continued, “I love to hear 
God’s voice speaking to us in thunder-tones ; 
I love to see His face reflected in flashes of 
lightning. ‘ The fear of the Lord is the begin- 
ning of wisdom.’ I have a poor opinion of 
love that is born of fear. If we experience 
fear through apprehension of wounding or 
causing pain, I believe that we are pardon- 
able.” 

“Ernest, dear, I wanted to see you again 
before you went away, and assure you that I 
will never marry any one but you. You know 
papa objects because of your former affliction ; 
otherwise he thinks the world and all of you ; 
and mamma’s objection because of your pov- 
erty will not change my love for you.” 

“ Eleanore,” replied Ernest, “you know 
that all I have to offer you is myself. This I 
have given you. We both worship the same 
Creator. I believe that He guides all things. 
We may have different methods of acknowl- 


204 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


ing and worshiping Him ; but I have often 
thought that the proudest monarch, in His 
eyes, is no better than the humblest slave. 
Why He permits so many things which we 
abhor to exist is not for us to question. I can 
not quite agree with Emerson, that we are not 
responsible for what we do ; but this much is 
clear to me : we can not prevent existing con- 
ditions. We are continually harassed with a 
choice of two things — must, as it were, con- 
tinually run the gauntlet of innumerable con- 
flicting pairs of opposites ; but it remains with 
us to choose, and if we make mistakes, as we 
are all liable to, and can only learn through 
experience, we, in the end, have no one to 
blame but ourselves.” 

“ Ver}^ true. Now, Ernest, do try and be 
as cheerful as you can. I have faith in prayer, 
and we must not lose hope.’’ 

“ My angel, there is no amount of work that 
I would find too difficult to do for you.” 

Eleanore, her right hand resting on Ernest’s 
left shoulder, and her left arm encircling his 
waist, looking, for all the world, like an ivy 
clinging to an oak, continued : 

“You know that father has gone to the city 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


205 


to make arrangements for taking mother and 
me to the Yosemite Valley, California. He 
has been wanting to go there for some time. 
Oh, did you see the beautiful sunrise this 
morning ? To me it was a promise that we will 
yet be happy, and that, whatever happens, 
God’s will will be done.” 

“ Eleanore, I have recently thought that 
some day we would have a ‘ sunrise ’ which 
would be universal in opening the eyes of all 
nations, and bringing them to a realization of 
the truth — have them see God revealed in 
nature — the earth transformed into heaven by 
each inhabitant cheerfully accepting his des- 
tined duty and performing it ; when work will 
become honorable, and not be regarded with 
contempt ; when woman will be promoted to 
a perfect equality with man ; when the dreams 
and hopes of our poets, and the possibilities of 
what can be made of this earth, will be real- 
ized.” 

“ My dear Ernest, you excel Plato in his 
wildest dream of a republic.” 


\ 


f 


RETROSPECT. 


The latest Gospel in this world is, know thy work and 
do it. Know thyself ; ” long enough has that poor “self” 
of thine tormented thee ; thou wilt never get to know it, I 
believe ! Think it not thy business, this of knowing thy- 
self ; thou art an unknowable individual ; know what thou 
canst work at ; and work at it like a Hercules I That will 
be thy better plan. — Thomas Carlyle. 


LFRED MARQUETTE was in an unu- 



Tx sually happy frame of mind. For the past 
two weeks he had devoted most of his time 
in entertaining Ernest, and now felt more than 
repaid, and rejoiced to see Ernest himself 
again. For days Ernest’s mind seemed pre- 
occupied, and his frigid taciturnity gave Alfred 
no little concern. Contemplating Ernest’s 
face, beaming with intelligence and hope, 
Alfred exclaimed: “Well, old boy, I am 
mighty glad to see you looking so well again.” 

“ My dear Alfred, you have been a real 
brother to me. You have neglected your 
queensware business for nearly two weeks, 
and, with your cheerftil conversation and com- 
panionship, have prevented me from grieving 


(207) 


2o8 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“Don’t mention it,” interrupted Alfred; 
“ take my advice and let the two words ‘ look- 
ing back’ be obsolete from your vocabulary, 
and remember that in the battle of life sensi- 
tiveness does not pay.” 

“ Very true ; but what is all history but a 
looking back? If we read it with a view of 
improving the future, or even the present, it 
is of incalculable value. Did it ever occur to 
you that of all our faculties ‘ memory ’ is the 
one which we least control? I have in mind 
a drive that we took about a week ago. I 
shall never forget the various impressions that 
I experienced from the time that we left here 
until we returned. At one time, after we had 
passed about nine toll-gates, it seemed to me 
that we had entered another world ; the trees 
and clouds and the songs of the birds seemed 
so entirely different from anything that I had 
ever seen or heard. You appeared to me as 
a ‘spirit’ for whom I had long longed, and 
were conducting me home — a home where 
‘ mammon worship-’ does not exist, and where 
pride, envy, avarice, jealous}^ anger, revenge, 
impatience, indolence, falsehood, doubt, van- 
ity, regret, despair, calumny, suspicion, self- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


209 


commiseration, superstition, remorse, bigotry, 
malice, tyranny, sensuality, gluttony, theft, 
drunkenness and murder are unknown terms. 
We had nearly returned before I fully real- 
ized that it was only an ‘ illusion perdue,’ and 
yet it seemed so real.” 

“You will have to let up on that kind of 
business ; do you hear my gentle voice? ” said 
Alfred, becoming animated. “ Drop this thing 
of dreaming, and go to work and be doing, 
and when you get to work again at your trade 
give philosophy and poetry a rest, especially 
poetry.” 

“Why not ask of me to cease breathing and 
thinking altogether?” 

“For the simple reason that whenever any 
one has attempted to live without breathing 
he has invariably not made a success of it ; and 
as for thinking — well, now, a little practical 
common sense is a good and useful thing.” 

“ Precisely ; but what is a person to do who 
is afflicted with an uncommon amount of sense 
— or imagination? ” 

“Bottle it; bridle it as you would a fiery 
and untamed steed ; govern it as you would 
the shrieking, panting, thundering locomo- 
H 


210 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


tive ; for, rest assured of one thing, ‘ you must 
either ride it or it will ride you.’ ” 

“Well, you are a stern matter-of-fact indi- 
vidual. It is only one step from the sublime 
to the ridiculous. You ought to thank your 
stars for not being afflicted with a supera- 
bundance of sensitiveness.” 

“ I assure you that I am not entirely void of 
feeling. But when a man grieves and mourns 
inordinately over an irrecoverable past, he is 
apt to become morbid. I never dreamed that 
there was so much joy to be derived from 
work. Since I have gone to work — and fort- 
unately I have found employment suited to 
my taste — it is something to transform com- 
mon clay into such artistic designs — I feel as 
though I had a better right to exist than when 
I led an aimless, useless, worthless life, and 
rather than return to it I would prefer to join 
the ‘ knights of the shovel and the spade.’ I 
feel confident that you will be anofher man 
when you again earn the bread that you eat.” 

“ I fully agree with you. There is nothing 
that I love more than work. I grieved fool- 
ishly about a remark that Miss Aircastle, the 
70ung lady from Mississippi, made about me. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


2ir 


This was about a month ago, at the debating^ 
club. Miss Rosamond drew her attention to 
me, when she remarked : ‘ Why, he looks like 
an ordinary workingman ! ’ I felt highly com- 
plimented for the resemblance, but grieved at 
the idea of any one regarding work and a 
workingman with a feeling of mingled pity 
and contempt.” 

“ Why, the silly goose ! She has n’t enough 
sense to keep out of the rain. She is one of 
those useless butterflies of society, and only fit 
to be a plaything, instead of a companion,” 
said Alfred. 

“ But here again we differ,” replied Ernest, 
“for the simple reason of regarding the same 
object from a different point of view. Had 
this young lady been properly educated, and 
acquired the elements of a true woman, she 
would have known better. I am firmly rooted 
in the belief that every human being possesses 
two attributes — Divine and human. If you will 
carefully look into this theory, or rather fact, 
you will And it exemplified in all conditions. I 
believe that there is no human being, be he 
ever so vile and low in the scale of humanity, 
but possesses at least some spark of the Di- 


212 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


vine principle. It may, apparently, lie con- 
cealed and dormant, but it is nevertheless 
there.” 

“ Then you will not agree with me, that the 
silly goose who despises work and the work- 
ingman is only fit to be a mere toy and play- 
thing? ” 

“ By no means. As I have said, the mis- 
fortune lies simply in the manner that she has 
been brought up. Imagine Rosamond Cain, 
or Eleanore Chase, or Virginia Beauchamp, 
or Mrs. Hezekiah Clay, making such a remark. 
Why, it would simply be an impossibility.” 

“Well, I still insist that the silly goose who 
despises work and workingmen doesn’t de- 
serve the amount of breath that we have 
wasted in discussing her. Let her R. I. P. — 
rest in peace.” 

“And I still insist that the fault lies in the 
manner that she has been bred.” 

“Now, don’t consider me entirely devoid 
of feeling. I am conscious of the fact that a 
great deal of joy, mingled with merriment, 
can be derived from being charitable. I re- 
member doing a poor colored boot-black' a 
good turn, a few weeks ago. I was sitting in 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


213 


front of the Tremont House, conversing with 
a few friends, when a colored boy, who ap- 
peared to be about twelve years of age, ac- 
costed me with the familiar, ‘Black a boots?’ 
I asked him his charges. He replied, ‘ Five 
cents,’ when I told him to fire away. While 
he was absorbed in producing an extra polish, 
I casually requested my friends to watch the 
boy when I paid him. ‘ Be sure you don’t 
give him too much,’ whispered one of my 
friends. ‘ I ’ll take the chances,’ said I. 

“When the boy had finished, I carelessly 
threw a five-dollar gold piece into his hands. 
It was amusing to see the comical expression 
of his face, and the ludicrous manner in which 
he handled the money, turning it over and 
over, and glancing at it in perplexity. Finally 
he looked up from his kneeling position, and^ 
as he handed the gold piece to me, remarked : 

“ ‘ Mister, this is a fiver.’ 

“I then gave him my hand, and assisted 
him to rise upon his feet, called him brother, 
advised him to continue in his honesty, and, 
instead of five cents, I gave him a dollar, 
whereupon my two friends also contributed a 
dollar.” 


214 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


“Alfred, you are a jewel,” exclaimed Er- 
nest, who appeared moved with this simple 
recital. “After all,” he continued, “there are 
a great many beautiful features in this world 
of ours, if we only open our eyes to see them.” 

“ Now, don’t become poetical,” said Alfred. 
'“Remember that business is business, and 
ham and eggs is sixty cents. Make no mis- 
take — don’t go off meandering with George 
Eliot, to Freshitt Hall, in her ‘ Middlemarch.’ 
Know that we must all obey the ‘law,’ whether 
we like it or not ; and make up your mind to 
-either be a man, a monk, a monkey, or a 
mouse.” 

“ Oh, you admirable, practical man of the 
world ! ” 

“And you exquisite, ethereal blatherskite. 
You will find, before you get through with life, 
that it requires something more substantial 
than wind-pudding to satisfy the animal man.” 

“ I am well aware of that fact ; but you can 
not deny that we all have wants which can 
not be appeased by bread and beef and but- 
ter. I am as certain that the grave does not 
•end all as I am that I live.” 

“And I am as certain that the grave does 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


215 


end all as I am that I am speaking to you,” 
said Alfred, and then continued : “ My dear 
Ernest, has it ever occurred to you that a 
great deal of pleasure and recreation has 
always been, and ever will be, derived from 
‘ deception?’ Just think what a monotonous 
and prosaic life this would be if it were not 
for deception. Go to India and witness the 
astonishing feats of deception practiced by 
the magicians. Who that has ever seen Herr- 
mann or Heller has not been surprised at their 
marvelous dexterity? Think of the artful 
huntsman who attracts his unsuspecting game 
with decoy ducks ; and ponder at the meek 
and patient piscatorial enthusiast resorting to 
artificial flies. Visit the prosperous farmer, 
and learn from him the necessity of resorting 
to deception in order to frighten the ravenous 
crows, and thus be enabled to supply us with 
the staff of life. We are all aware of the 
merriment which was occasioned when our 
troops captured Manassas and discovered a 
number of black-painted wooden cannon. 
You speak of the sun rising and setting, when 
in truth it is Mother Earth’s movements that 
create the deception. You imagine that the 


2i6 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


sun and moon are about a foot or two in diam- 
eter, and are deceived by a square tower ap- 
pearing round in the distance. Did you ever 
attempt to guess the height of a silk hat by 
marking its distance from the floor? or place 
a cork on a wine-bottle, resting on a table, 
and, after taking three or four steps distant, 
point your finger at it, take accurate aim, then 
approach without lowering or raising your 
hand, and see if you will hit it ? Have you ever 
fallen on the ice and seen stars? or pressed 
your eye-ball and seen colors that are not real ? 
Listen to what philosophers teach us : ‘A man 
says he sees a tree. The philosopher knows 
that he does not. He sees a certain form and 
color, which observation and experience, both 
unconscious, have taught him represent a tree. 
Consciousness is on the side of the under- 
standing.’ Take a straight stick and plunge 
it half-way into the water, and it will appear 
crooked. ‘All our pure visual sensations are 
nothing more than signs, like words, with their 
groups of associated images. Experience 
alone acquaints us with their meanings ; in 
other words, experience alone associates with 
each of them the image of the tactile and mus- 
cular sensations corresponding to it.’ 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


21 / 


“ Think of the amusing aural deceptions. I 
believe there is a case on record where a sol- 
itary drummer-boy has been the means of 
winning a battle. The report of a pistol, gun 
or cannon always appears to come from the 
opposite direction from which it is fired. You 
hear an enchanting voice proceeding from an 
adjoining room or through a telephone ; you 
imagine that the possessor can be none other 
than a beautiful young woman, and then learn 
to your chagrin that it was only a young boy,, 
who unconsciously created the deception. 
Think of the comical deceptions practiced by 
ventriloquists. Think of the deceptions created. 
by drugs, quinine, opium or alcohol. ‘ In our 
present state the situations we attribute to our 
sensations are always false ; that which is sit- 
uated at the spot in which we place them is 
their usual cause or condition. Sometimes 
the organ in which the primary nervous dis- 
turbance of which they are the result is af- 
fected, sometimes the external object which 
excites the nervous disturbance. This cause 
or condition may be absent, as its presence is 
usual only ; in any case, whether present or 
absent, the localizing judgment is an illusion,. 


2i8 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


since we invariably situate the situation where 
it is not. Usually, this judgment is practical!}' 
effective through the provisions it suggests and 
which direct our conduct ; in itself it is nothing 
more than an illusion, which is generally useful, 
a fundamental error which nature and experi- 
ence have constructed within us and estab- 
lished in us perpetually, to act as a preserva- 
tive of our life, and an organ for our action.’ 
What is illusion but another name for decep- 
tion? Indeed, we would have a dreary life 
of it were it not for deception. A million 
blessings upon Mother Eve for teaching cred- 
ulous Adam the charm of deception. You 
complain of our fashionable ladies not being 
sufficiently clad. A man who has not suffi- 
cient force of character to soar above foolish- 
ness deserves to go under and be kept well 
under. Was Rebecca justified in deceiving 
her blind husband and defrauding her eldest 
son from his father’s blessing? ‘ We see how 
difficult it is to make meaning explicit by a 
brief announcement. Interpretation, as applied 
to laws, contracts, testaments, as well as to 
writing generally, consists in determining 
what things the writer excludes as opposites 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


219 


to, and looked at as agreements with, the 
things named. It is thus everywhere in cog- 
nition. A simple impression is tantamount to 
no impression at all. Quality in the last re- 
sort implies relation, although in logic the two 
are distinguished.’ Think of the prolonged 
feast of deception the Nominalists and Real- 
ists enjoyed in their endeavors to have words 
usurp the place of ideas until Abelard finally 
built a bridge for them and led them within 
the realm of reason. You believe that what 
is to be will be. Tell me, am I free or am I 
subject to inevitable necessity? If free, then 
how are all my actions controlled and pre- 
determined by a Divine Providence? Every 
idea, conception and representation has a 
double face. Two persons in New York con- 
clude to go to San Francisco. One goes by 
steamer via Isthmus of Panama, the other 
takes a train and travels across the continent. 
The first may be overtaken by an earthquake, 
the other delayed by a blizzard or cyclone. 
^ There is no limit to the modes of knowing 
the world when we superadd the sphere of art 
to the more narrowly defined sphere of science. 
An original genius makes us see what has 


220 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


always been before our eyes. The truth is, 
that having a thing before the eyes is not see- 
ing, far less knowing. The name of genius, 
be he Homer or Shakespeare, supplies the foil, 
the complement that raises the thing to knowl- 
edge. The happy comparison — by classifica- 
tion, analogy, or simile — and the pointed con- 
trasts are the agents that vivify the mind with 
references to what formerly lay unheeded be- 
fore the open eyes.’ What is faith but sanc- 
tified imagination or deception? Deception 
in art? You would have been amused if you 
had seen one of our domestics the other day 
deceived by a painted toad on the oaken floor. 
It was laughable to see the bewildered serv- 
ant, how she rushed for a broom and endeav- 
ored to sweep the horrid toad out of the room, 
and nearly fainted from fright when she dis- 
covered that it was only an imitation — a mere 
d'eception. Think of a woman feigning grief ; 
she wrings her hands and patheticall}^ moans, 
‘O my God, how wretched I am.’ You be- 
come moved, and approach her with words 
of sympathy and compassion. She then bursts 
out laughing, and kindly informs you that she 
was only in fun. Think of the comical de- 


MUSICAL, CROTCHETS. 


221 


ceptions practiced by twin brothers or twin 
sisters. Could Shakespeare have ever written 
the greatest of comedies, the Comedy of Er- 
rors, if it were not for deception? What is 
language but the art of concealing our 
thoughts ? What is metaphysics but deception 
elevated to a science? 

“ My dear Alfred, I have often wished that 
all our sciences were as free from sophistry 
as are mathematics and natural philosophy. 
The French have a law compelling druggists 
to label their medicines in the vernacular of 
their country. Have you ever fully conceived 
the grandeur of the word ‘ struggle? ’ ‘Take 
a passive, contemplative, dreaming, indolent 
existence, as contrasted with the active pur- 
suit of some outward and tangible object. 
The absence of aim leaves the mind a prey to 
its inward activity,’ compared to which occu- 
pation at any honorable pursuit would be a 
delightful recreation. We need more men 
who fully realize the meaning of the word 
‘ struggle.’ To my liking, it is a more inter- 
esting word than ‘deception.’ We have 
‘ accounts of persons born blind, who have 
been restored to sight, imagine that objects 


222 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


touch their eyes, and walk about cautiously y 
keeping their hands raised before them for 
fear of being hurt ; even the sun appears to 
touch their eyes. They can only learn the 
names of objects through touch,’ feeling their 
way into a new life. Here is a struggle be- 
tween feeling and evidence. You assume that 
‘faith is nothing but sanctified imagination.’ 
You place your reliance on cognition and 
imagination. I have faith in what I have felty 
and for me it is as sufficient an evidence as 
for the person born blind who has been re- 
stored to sight. Visit a deaf and dumb asy- 
lum — there learn how feeling is employed in 
teaching. See the teacher stationed at the 
black-board at the western wall, writing ques- 
tions. Now look at the children, lining the 
northern, eastern and southern walls, which 
form a continuous black-board, writing an- 
swers to the questions of their teacher, their 
faces turned from her. Presently you become 
amused at what appears to you an absurdity, 
when you see the teacher stamping the floor 
two or three times, in order to attract the 
attention of the pupils. Are you not in a 
deaf and dumb asylum? Can these children 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


223 


hear? No, but they can feel the jarring of 
the floor, which is a sufficient admonition. 

“Now observe two bright and happy lithe 
girls kneeling in front of the teacher and re- 
citing after her ‘ Our Father ’ in their panto- 
mime dialect. I know how poets are regarded 
by many practical men of the world. I love 
to follow our earnest scientists in their dispas- 
sionate and digging researches, for they all 
travel toward one object, truth. 

“Lucillius uttered a falsehood and by so 
doing saved the life of his friend Brutus, but 
sacrificed his own. This act is applauded by 
historians and sentimentalists, but it was nev- 
ertheless suicidal. Many are of the opinion 
that no man can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry, 
without a certain unsoundness of mind. Why 
has God chosen the foolish things of this world 
to confound the wise, and the weak things to 
confound the things that are mighty ? ‘ Let 

no man deceive himself. If any man among 
you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him 
become a fool that he may be wise.’ Is this 
the penalty of poetry and wisdom ? Do we 
here find the mystery solved of the insanity 
of Byron, Dr. Samuel Johnson, Walter Scott 


224 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


(who wrote the Bride of Lammermoor during 
a spell of mental aberration, and when handed 
a printed copy did not know that it was his 
own composition), Pascal, Cowper, Coleridge, 
Newton, Lamb, Southey, Percival, Schu- 
mann, Carlyle, Tasso, Lamartine, Goethe, 
Madam De Stael, George Sand, Loyola, 
Malebranche, Descartes, Pope, Shelley, Vol- 
taire, Rousseau, Handel, Beethoven, Herder, 
Schoppenhauer, Poe, Villou, De Musset, 
Gunther, Burger, Hoffmann, Empedocles, 
Socrates, Plato, Chateaubriand, Saint Simon, 
Alfieri, Linnasus, Swift, Zimmermann, Rich- 
elieu, Auguste Compte, Donnizetti, Mozart, 
Lenan, Holderlin, Kepler, Cuvier and De 
Qiiincey? I remember hearing a practical 
business man remark that he believed Shake- 
speare was crazy. I know that you will im- 
agine that I am having a relapse when you 
learn that I have resolved to be a Christian 
and do what I can toward obliterating from 
the earth the evil of insanity. As life exists 
we have a choice of one of three things : ‘Mat- 
rimony, celibacy or prostitution.’ Is it a 
crime to do right? Why does the world 
persecute men when they resolve to do 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


225 


right? ‘Struggle,’ do you know the full 
meaning of the word? Do you know the 
power, and have you ever felt the tyranny, of 
the false god. Mammon? John Brown was 
considered a crank, but he had the courage 
of his convictions. I believe in a life beyond 
the grave where there is no divorce.” 

“Ernest, you astonish me. It is surprising 
what progress Christianity is making in the 
United States. You know that there is no 
other God than nature.” 

“ My dear Alfred, when you blush you ex- 
perience heat and become red. Fire is hot 
and red. When life has left you, you become 
white and cold. Snow is white and cold. I 
regard nature as our mother. There is a life 
beyond the grave where our Father dwells, and 
where there is no divorce. The story is related 
of a celebrated art critic who engaged one of 
his artist friends to paint a portrait of his wife. 
This resulted in the artist and wife becoming 
enamored of each other. The critic, a keen 
observer of human nature, and possessed of 
magnanimous impulses, conceived the unique 
idea of performing a noble and heroic act. 
He consulted the unfortunate lovers separately, 

15 


226 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS 


and drew from them the confession of their 
mutual attachment. He quietly obtained a 
divorce, the parties were married, lived hap- 
pily together, and occasionally received 
friendly visits from the self-sacrificing critic. 
It is one of the principles of Anarchists to abol- 
ish the marriage rite. They claim the privi- 
lege of living with woman in any relation they 
choose, regardless of the sanctity of church or 
state. Revolting as such doctrine appears to 
us, wherein does it differ from the actions of 
the magnanimous art critic, his wife or artist 
friend? A few months ago a marriage oc- 
curred at the Midas public show window, at 
which a Christian minister officiated. This 
performance was only equaled, if not excelled, 
by a marriage which recently occurred at a 
penitentiary in which a criminal, condemned 
to death, and an erroneously educated college 
girl were the contracting parties. I will never 
outlive my love and admiration for flowers. 
It has always pained me whenever I have 
witnessed flowers strewn on the floor to be 
stamped upon. I can not become reconciled 
to the thought that God created flowers for 
any such purpose. You expressed surprise 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 22 ^ 

at the wonderful growth of Christianity in the 
United States. I feel very much interested 
in the growth of the negro population in the 
South. Perhaps one is as essential as the 
other in order to maintain an equilibrium and 
prevent the cautious, refined but unproductive 
conservatives from being overpowered by their 
colored brethren. I have often wondered why 
God has created so many heartless mammon- 
worshiping butterflies of society ; but ought 
we be surprised? Who is to blame? Will we 
never learn from experience — God’s method 
of teaching us — that until we make woman 
our equal in every respect, her position will 
not be bettered? It is my firm conviction that 
a woman who is good enough to be the mother 
of a man’s son or daughter is good enough to 
be his wife. I am in favor of any plan that 
will improve the condition of woman and the 
workingman.” 

“ I presume that you would even favor 
woman suffrage,” laughingly remarked Al- 
fred. 

‘‘ I certainly do favor woman suffrage^'* said 
Ernest emphatically. ‘‘ I have given the sub- 
ject a great deal of thought, and am fully 


228 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


convinced of the justice and wisdom of the 
movement becoming universal. Until this 
right is given to woman throughout the globe, 
she will never be any better, in most cases, 
than the mere dependent and slave of man.” 

“Nonsense,” said Alfred. “Imagine a 
woman addressing a mob. What effect could 
she have?” 

“ Indeed ! ” replied Ernest. “ I imagine a 
woman addressing an assembly of men, pro- 
viding she has a voice of sufficient strength, 
and possesses the necessary education, being 
as effective as man. You place your fears 
upon the rowdy element. I place my reliance 
upon manly men. No man, who has any 
principles of true manhood in him, would tol- 
erate seeing a woman prevented from address- 
ing an assembly of men. As for the rowdy 
element, I have witnessed an example of their 
bravery. I have in mind one regiment, which 
was composed principally of the rowdy ele- 
ment, who, at the battle of Bull Run, ran like 
a lot of rats. Tenderfoot is too genteel a 
name for them.” 

“Woman is not fit to shoulder a musket, 
hold office, or govern.” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


229 


“The time will come when we will enjoy 
implements of warfare which will not require 
more strength to manipulate than was required 
of the little child who blew up Hell-Gate. 
Think of what an ado the father of this little 
one (Brevet Major-General Newton, of the 
United States Engineers) might have made 
over the event. For instance, invited the 
President of the United States (U. S. Grant) 
to perform the act — considered it a royal com- 
pliment to his Excellency and suite of dis- 
tinguished statesmen, senators and congress- 
men — had a big parade, headed by a brass 
band, and concluded the performance in the 
evening with sky-rockets. But, instead of all 
this display. General Newton quietly took his 
little girl in his arms (September 24, i 876 , 
at 2:51 p. M.), and told her to touch a button. 
Her strength was sufficient. Or would you 
prefer to see woman throughout the universe 
become like the amazons of Dahomey? ” 

“ The great difficulty,” said Alfred, chang- 
ing the subject, “ with many of our working- 
men, is their independence. I read an amus- 
ing account to-day, in the morning paper, of 
an independent wood-sawer and an independ- 


230 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


ent carpenter-capitalist. The carpenter had 
saved enough money out of his week’s wages 
to buy a load of wood. While at the market, 
he was solicited by a wood-sawer for the job 
of sawing it. His price was one dollar and 
twenty-five cents. The carpenter would only 
pay one dollar ; and when the wood-sawer 
positively refused to work for any less money, 
the carpenter told him that he would saw the 
wood himself. Now, I wonder,” added Al- 
fred, laughingly, “if the wood-sawer had 
anything else for his supper that evening than 
his independence?” 

“I take this view of it,” replied Ernest: 
“If the wood-sawer was a single man, he 
acted nobly in refusing to be instrumental in 
preventing a married wood-sawer from sup- 
porting himself and family. Dr. Tanner has 
demonstrated the fact that a single man can 
live tolerably well for forty days without food.” 

“ Why, Ernest, if your views were to be- 
come general, we would have very few mar- 
riages.” 

“ The army of celibacy would probably be 
enforced,” continued Ernest; “but the num- 
ber of bastards, lunatics and harlots would be 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


231 


considerably diminished. Who would not 
prefer to be a wolf, and roam the forest in the 
enjoyment of freedom, than be a petted dog, 
lying upon oriental rugs in a palace, or a mar- 
ried man staring starvation in the face? Don’t 
look so apprehensive. There is no danger 
of my having a relapse. I am sufficient!}^ 
convinced that there is a God, and that there 
is a life beyond the grave. You ask, ‘Am I 
free? Then how are my actions controlled 
by Divine Providence?’ I answer. Yes, you 
are free ; you can have your own way, and 
pay the penalty. Christianity is not a snare 
and a delusion. I am fully convinced of that. 
When a man commits a crime, and is tried in 
a court of justice, and his acquittal depends 
upon his being either a Democrat or a Repub- 
lican, he has received the benefit of natural 
law ; we shake hands with him, and congrat- 
ulate him upon his release. Is he free ? There 
goes a handsome man ; he made the acquaint- 
ance of a young lady, and ingratiated himself 
in her widowed mother’s affections ; won the 
affections of the young lady ; they were en- 
gaged to be married. She was not aware 
that the elegant young gentleman had a wife 


232 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

and several children. He obtains ten thou- 
sand dollars — all her earthly possessions — 
from the mother of this confiding young 
woman, speculates, and loses every dollar. 
Finally the mother and daughter learn, to 
their sorrow, the character of the individual 
who has so abused love. We have no human 
law to punish the wretch. It was a mere 
breach of trust! Is he free? When a man 
applies for work, and can only obtain it on 
condition of sacrificing his manhood, which he 
refuses to do, is he justified in maintaining his 
freedom, and paying the penalty of poverty? 
Is it right to say to your brother, ‘ Believe as 
I do, or be damned ; vote as I do, or I’ll boy- 
cott you?’ I protest against any foreign 
power dictating to me how I shall vote. 

“You would have preferred the negro to 
remain a slave. God willed it otherwise. It 
is only from the -past that we can discern His 
methods of accomplishing His purpose and 
teaching us. Was not the negro better off as 
a slave than in his own barbarous country? 
Is there any probability that we will again 
return him to bondage? I look forward to a 
glorious future for the negro in the Congo 
State. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 23;^ 

“ Your artistic toad deception appears tame 
compared to a ‘ struggle ’ which I recently 
witnessed between a chicken and a sparrow 
for the^ possession of an apple-core. The 
chicken first discovered it and began to enjoy 
the feast. Presently a sparrow flew down 
and also attempted to appease its hunger. 
The ravenous chicken objected to the spar- 
row’s intrusion, picked up the core and ran a 
short distance and then again began to enjoy 
the meal. The sparrow skipped over the 
ground and soon was again near the core. 
The chicken again picked up the core and 
ran a short distance, then dropping it, again 
began to peck. The sparrow again skipped 
over the ground, and while the chicken was 
in the act of looking skyward and munching 
a morsel, picked up the core and flew away 
with it. The chicken now looked down and 
prepared to take another peck — looked first 
to the right, then to the left, and then again 
skyward — made a comical squawk and slowly 
walked away with a step and look expressing 
as plainly as words can convey a feeling of 
Emersonian astonishment. 

“You say woman should not be permitted 


234 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


to vote. I say she has a right to choose our 
rulers, but I question the propriety of any 
woman occupying a pulpit.” 

“ Religion was only intended for women 
and fools,” said Alfred. 

“Indeed;” replied Ernest, “you pride 
yourself upon your intellect ; you imagine that 
you have penetrated the portals of force^ and 
have entered among the higher intelligences 
and are now floating in that flerce light that 
beats about the throne. Then why, when 
your brother is thirsty and begs for a drink, 
do you give him a draught from the ocean or 
ofter him a double distilled essence of corn 
juice? When he is hungry and asks for bread, 
why do you attempt to ‘ coerce * a whale down 
his throat and consider this the proper food 
for an undergraduate? You appear aston- 
ished at his refusing your food and drink, and 
meekly pray, ‘Thy will be done.’ You look 
surprised at his protesting against your intel- 
lectual cannibalism, and refusing both Scylla 
and Chaiybdis. Is it for this purpose that 
God has given us intellect? Are we justified 
in using it to enslave our brother or sister? 
You have misinterpreted my objection to 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


235 


women not being sufficiently clad. When 
we consider the number of consumptives, and 
find that in the majority of cases the disease 
can be traced to contracting a cold, we are 
pardonable for endeavoring to guard against 
it. We have emancipated the negro. As 
certain as God exists, woman will be emanci- 
pated, and be regarded as the equal and com- 
panion of man.'’ 

“ Ernest, what in the world has caused you 
to become so enthusiastic?” 

“ You may remember,” replied Ernest, “the 
first sermon that the Rev. Elijah MacMillan 
delivered on charity and forgiveness. That 
same morning Miss Rosamond Cain sang 
‘Come unto Him,’ from HandePs Oratorio of 
the Messiah. You had a good chorus. Prof. 
Jacob Abel seemed inspired with the soul of 
music, and during the collection you sang the 
beautiful solo from Mendelsohn’s Elijah, ‘ If 
with all your hearts.' On my way to church 
I was in anything but a happy frame of mind ; 
in fact, I had almost lost faith in everything. 
I shall never forget how I was impressed with 
Miss Rosamond’s singing ‘ Come unto Him.’ 
Here was an appeal for a rest which can not 


236 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


be found this side of the grave. The music, 
to me, seemed heavenl}'. It was as if the 
voice of God, through Handel and Rosamond, 
who, at best, were but the instruments that he 
employed to make himself heard and felt, was 
addressing itself especially to me, and I ex- 
perienced a bond of sympathy with humanity, 
which, until then, I never would have believed 
possible to exist. When Mr. MacMillan had 
finished his sermon, I was in a frame of mind 
to forgive and forget everything. And now 
came your beautiful solo. I was even more 
overpowered than with Miss Rosamond’s sing- 
ing. When we see a woman in tears it seems 
as natural as an April shower. But what sur- 
prises me most, is that you, with your peculiar 
views, don’t seem to be conscious that you 
also, like Handel, Mendelsohn and Rosa- 
mond, are but a mere implement to express 
God’s voice, and call men to do his will.” 

“ So you are a candidate for Christianity?” 
said Alfred, solemnly. “You have my best 
wishes.” 


SEPARATION. 


NE year passed since Ernest Hirsch re- 



turned to the East. During that time 
a little event took place at Hazeldel, which 
made a deep impression upon Alfred Mar- 
quette and Prof. Jacob Abel. It was just six 
months since Theodore Snap married Miss 
Rosamond Cain. 

Although Alfred Marquette betrayed no 
outward sign of the inward disappointment 
and grief that he experienced, he, neverthe- 
less, for the past three months, spent many 
nights in Chicago, where he became deeply 
interested in the fascinating game of billiards. 
He made the discovery, during this time, that 
he possessed extraordinary talent in this direc- 
tion, and resolved upon becoming the cham- 
pion billiard-player of the world. 

Prof. Jacob Abel’s disappointment resulted 
in the professor resigning his organ situation, 
giving up his class of violin pupils, and going 
to Washington Territory, where he established 
a sheep ranch. He came to the conclusion 
that a change of scenery would benefit his 


(237) 


238 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


health, and, adding the hope of realizing a 
handsome fortune in a few years, it is not sur- 
prising that he made his plans for his future 
course six months sooner than did Alfred 
Marquette. 

Within a week after the wedding of Theo- 
dore Snap and Rosamond Cain, Prof. Jacob 
Abel was on his way to the far west, and a 
few weeks later he was pursuing the peaceful 
occupation of a shepherd. He took his violin 
with him, as his love for music had not entirely 
become extinct through his ambitious endeav- 
ors to hastily acquire wealth. He was very 
fortunate in obtaining good help, and enjoyed 
the novelty of this primitive pioneer existence 
for six months, and would undoubtedly have 
continued in this pursuit if it had not so hap- 
pened that one evening, in looking over the 
Walla-Walla papers, he noticed the glowing 
accounts of the silver mines in Montana and 
Colorado, and concluded that he could more 
rapidly acquire a fortune by speculating in min- 
ing stocks. The following day Prof. Jacob 
Abel went to Walla-Walla, found a purchaser 
for his ranch, and within ten days he was in 
Denver, speculating in mining stocks. It only 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


239 


required one month’s experience in this new 
venture to relieve him of his hard-earned 
savings. Here he was a perfect stranger, and 
absolutely penniless. Something had to be 
done. After explaining his predicament to 
the proprietor of the hotel, the landlord, a 
generous heart, who had himself experienced 
many ups and downs in life, employed him as 
night clerk, in return for which he gave him 
board and lodging. 

In this position Prof. Jacob Abel continued 
for about two months. It was not many days 
before all the regular guests of the hotel knew 
the exact amount of salary that the professor 
received ; so whenever he would enter the 
dining-room, he was invaribly greeted by 
some of the guests with, “Here comes Prof. 
Abel to eat up his salary.” Finally this be- 
came monotonous, when he succeeded in 
obtaining a situation as a “mixer.” This 
term is synonymous with caterer, bar-tender, 
or beer-jerker. Here Prof. Jacob Abel was 
not compelled to eat up all his salary to merely 
exist, so that at the end of three months he 
had saved a little money, and, having met a 
gentleman from Cheyenne, for whom he per- 


240 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

formed on the violin, was persuaded to accept 
an engagement to go to Cheyenne and perform 
at a series of concerts which the gentleman 
was managing. 

The professor went to Cheyenne, played at 
one concert ; did not like the surroundings — 
it was somewhat different from his conception 
of giving concerts. At all events. Prof. Jacob 
Abel sincerely regretted that he had ever left 
his innocent sheep ranch, and the following 
day was on his way to Santa Fe, New Mexico, 
where he had the good fortune of meeting an 
enthusiast on the subject of art — a man of 
means, who was really an excellent judge of 
music, through whose influence Prof. Jacob 
Abel procured an organ situation and a class of 
violin pupils. 

Prof. Jacob Abel, by this time, had lost all 
desire of ever suddenly acquiring wealth, and 
felt contented in applying himself diligently 
to the stern duties of his profession, and be- 
coming, as it were, in that new and prosper- 
ous country, a musical missionary. 

Mr. Enoch Chase went to the Yosemite 
Valley, taking with him his wife and daugh- 
ter. He never lost his innate love for his own 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


241 


country, and entertained no hopes while in 
Europe of acquiring the position of a father- 
in-law to some worthless member of the no- 
bility. Still, he remembered when viewing 
the grand and beautiful scenery in Switzer- 
land, and comparing it with anything that he 
had ever seen at home, that he experienced a 
feeling of mingled pity and regret. From 
this feeling he was now completely disen- 
chanted, and when later on he visited Yellow- 
stone Park, the geysers and the transparent 
springs whose crystal walls reflected the varied 
hues of the rainbow, and which nature had 
wrought into the most beautiful and artistic fili- 
gree designs ; and comparing our own scenery 
with that of foreign countries, Mr. Enoch 
Chase is excusable for indulging in a little 
pride for his native land by exclaiming to 
Mrs. Aramintha Chase : 

Mother, this beats the scenery of Switzer- 
land all hollow ! ” 

“ Maybe so, maybe so, pa,” replied Mrs. 
Aramintha Chase, “ but the climate does not 
agree so well with Eleanore. I am afraid that 
Yellowstone Park is a little too cold ; we must 
hasten to get to Los Angeles, where the cli- 

16 


242 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


mate is milder, and where the balmy eucalyp- 
tus and the fragrant orange blossoms will have 
a beneficial effect upon Eleanore and relieve 
her of her cough.” 

“Oh, ma, I wish you would not worry so 
much about my cough ; I have only caught a 
little cold.” 

“ Daughter, you have been coughing a great 
deal, and the sooner we get to the southern 
part of California the better,” firmly replied 
Mrs. Aramintha Chase. 

“Yes, Eleanore;” added Mr. Chase, “I 
believe mother is right. We will start for Los 
Angeles to-morrow.” 


1 


A BIG BLAZE. 


T he 7th of October, 1871, will long be re- 
membered in the history of Chicago as 
being the anniversary of the burning of that 
city. Alexander Wildwood and Romeo Hop- 
sing narrowly escaped with their lives. In 
the early part of the evening they were at the 
Tremont House playing billiards with Alfred 
Marquette and Hezekiah Clay. 

Alexander Wildwood had some writing to 
do, and Romeo Hopsing became interested in 
Lamb’s Dramatic Poets, so these two com- 
panions adjourned to their room, leaving Al- 
fred Marquette and Hezekiah Clay, who con- 
tinued playing billiards. 

Alexander and Romeo had not been in their 
room many hours before they left it in a more 
precipitous manner than they would have be- 
lieved possible. Alexander was so absorbed 
in writing, and Romeo was so interested in 
Lamb’s Dramatic Poets, that neither realized 
the danger that they were in until the room 
became illumined with rapid flashes of light, 
(243) 


244 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

and hearing a roaring, rumbling sound, they 
realized that there was a big fire raging and 
that it was very near. Romeo hurried to the 
window and looking out, saw the corner build- 
ing opposite in flames, and as far beyond as he 
could see seemed a perfect ocean of fire. He 
was not long in making up his mind what to 
do under the circumstances, nor did Alexan- 
der require more than a moment’s view of the 
fierce, fiery fiend. They flew down stairs 
and in three minutes found themselves around 
the corner, but none too soon, for had they 
remained a minute longer, it would have been 
too late. As it was, they were compelled to 
run at a very lively rate, and were closely 
pursued by the raging current until they 
reached Michigan avenue. “ Everybody for 
himself and the devil take the hindmost ” 
seemed the order of the time. Romeo over- 
took a poor woman who was carrying an in- 
fant. She looked frantic with fear, and would 
not have had the strength to save her life and 
her child’s also, so taking the youngster from 
her arms, Romeo requested her to follow him, 
which the poor woman gratefully did. When 
they arrived at Michigan avenue, Romeo re- 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 245 

turned her child to her arms. She thanked him 
with a fervent, 

‘‘ God bless yees, and may the good Lord 
reward yees !” 

The following day relief poured in from all 
directions. It is only necessary for an occur- 
rence like the Chicago fire to take place in 
order to feel the pulse of the world, and as- 
certain if it has a living heart. There is not 
a state in the Union, nor a single nation on 
the face of the earth that has not contributed 
to the relief and rebuilding of the beautiful 
city of the lake. 

Theodore Snap had some difficulty in find- 
ing Alexander Wildwood and Romeo Hop- 
sing. When at last they met in the park, he 
provided them with a basket of lunch, and 
requested them to accompany him home and 
remain awhile at his house. This generous 
invitation they accepted, and went with The- 
odore to Hazeldel, where they rested for sev- 
eral days and recuperated their somewhat 
shattered nervous systems. 

One evening, after supper, when the whole 
family were congregated in the library, dis- 
cussing the probable origin of the holocaust. 


246 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

each one gave a different reason as being the 
real cause of the fire. 

It was now the third day since the fire, and 
neither Alfred Marquette nor Hezekiah Clay 
had returned to Hazeldel. Every possible 
search was made, but in vain. 

Mrs. Theodore Snap gave it as her opinion 
that the real cause of the fire was the laxity 
of morals for which Chicago enjoyed an un- 
enviable notoriety, and, facing her husband, 
she continued : “Although I deeply sympa- 
thize with Mrs. Hezekiah Clay and Mother 
Marquette, I think it served the horrid men 
just right in being burned alive for neglecting 
their homes.” 

Had Mrs. Theodore Snap been present at 
the afilicted homes of Mrs. Hezekiah Clay and 
Mother Marquette, and heard their lamenta- 
tions over their lost husband and son, she 
would have repented of her lack of charity. 

The Hon. Mr. Esau Cain was of the 
opinion that the real cause of the calamity 
was owing to the fact that everybody had 
become possessed with an inordinate love for 
money, and stopped at nothing to gain their 
ends. 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


247 


Alexander Wildwood then remembered the 
trick that Romeo had played on the unsus- 
pecting cow — felt certain that the remark the 
Irish woman made was, “ Shure enough, it’s 
Missis O’Leary’s cow,” and that, although he 
had, on one occasion, informed Romeo that 
he would never set the world on fire, he took 
it back and humbly begged Romeo’s pardon. 

This produced general laughter, with the 
exception of Romeo, who falteringly re- 
marked : 

“If I had known what the results would 
have been of indulging in a little pleasantry 
with the mild and ruminating cow, I would 
have restrained myself, and would much pre- 
fer to have sacrificed my life, could I, by so 
doing, have saved the life of Alfred Marquette 
or Hezekiah Clay.” 

“ You have a good heart,” exclaimed The- 
odore, extending his hand to Romeo. 

“And permit me to assure you, my dear 
Mr. Hopsing, added the Hon. Mrs. Esau 
Cain, “that I cast no blame on you.” 


REUNION. 


M r. ENOCH CHASE arrived none too 
soon at Los Angeles. The sudden 
change of temperature at Yellowstone Park 
aggravated Miss Eleanore’s cold and caused 
her to have a slight hemorrhage, which nearly 
frightened Mrs. Aramintha Chase out of all 
reason. Even Mr. Chase who, under all cir- 
cumstances, never lost his presence of mind 
and self-possession, betrayed a little appre- 
hension, and did not recover his former self- 
composure until they were three days in Los 
Angeles, and Eleanore had nearly recovered 
from her hacking cough. The one person 
whom this indisposition concerned the most 
evinced the least anxiety as to its probable 
result. 

Miss Eleanore found herself placed in a 
peculiarly strange and intricate position. Her 
love and veneration for her father ; Mr. Chase’s 
idolatry for his daughter ; his objection to Er- 
nest Hirsch ; Mrs. Aramintha Chase’s prefer- 
ence for Albert Rosenbusch, whom Eleanore 
utterly detested ; a choice between a father 
(249) 


250 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


and a husband — all this Eleanore fully real- 
ized. She, however, made a resolution and 
determined to abide by it. She would never 
prove herself disobedient to her father nor 
sacrifice his love for a million worlds. Elea- 
nore possessed in an eminent degree the vir- 
tues of gentleness, purity, humility and benev- 
olence, and now added to these self-denial, 
patience and contentment. 

There was something indescribably beauti- 
ful in the love, veneration and faith that ex- 
isted between Mr. Chase and his daughter, 
reminding one forcibly of Prospero and Mir- 
anda in Shakespeare’s Tempest. 

Mr. Chase held peculiar views regarding 
the duties of parents toward children. He 
determined to prove himself a father to his 
daughter under any and all circumstances. 
Should the world ever ignore his child, his 
home and heart and hands would always be 
open to her. 

During one of their afternoon drives Mr. 
Chase startled his daughter by suddenly ask- 
ing her : 

“Eleanore, would you really like to marry 
Ernest Hirsch and leave your poor old father?” 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


251 


“Papa, dear; why do you ask? you know 
that I would, but not without your consent.” 

“ I have no objection, if you still love 
him.” 

“Then I will marry him and will not lose 
you by so doing.” 

It is surprising how rapidly from this day 
Eleanore recovered from her annoying cough. 
Six months later she had gamed thirty pounds 
and presented a picture of robust health. Er- 
nest Hirsch did not at first recognize Eleanore 
when he met her coming up Eucalyptus ave- 
nue. It was only when she burst out laugh- 
ing that her voice fully assured him of what 
his eyes doubted. 

“Oh, you laughing siren,” exclaimed Er- 
nest, as he embraced Eleanore and kissed her 
on her forehead, “I would not have known 
you, ^you are looking so well and rosy and 
strong.” 

“ I was only laughing, Ernest, dear, at the 
thought of your coming this distance to see 
me when I expected to meet you in a few 
weeks at Hazeldel.” 

This frank confidence perplexed Ernest. 
Should he conceal from her the truth, that he 


252 MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 

was sent to California on business for the 
company in which he was employed at New 
York? He therefore replied : 

“You know, Eleanore, that I would go any- 
where on the face of the earth to see you, and 
my meeting you now is purely accidental. I 
was sent here on business for my compan}^ and 
received a letter from Theodore Snap on the 
day of my departure informing me that you 
were here.” 

“ Well, it is just as well,’^ replied Eleanore, 
“ let us go and see father and mother. I know 
they will be glad to see you.” 

Mr. Hirsch received a cordial welcome from 
Mr. Chase. Mrs. Aramintha Chase extended 
her hand in a semi-regretful manner — as 
though she were silently mourning the loss 
of Albert Rosenbusch — and, feigning surprise, 
she said : 

“Why, Mr. Hirsch! I did not exp*ect to 
meet you here.” 

“I am certain, madam,” said Ernest, cor- 
dially grasping her hand, “ that I am delighted 
with the unexpected pleasure.” 


FINALE. 


F our months later Ernest and Eleanore 
were married at Hazeldel. They went 
directly to New York. Ernest rented a mod- 
est cottage in the suburbs, and Eleanore began 
housekeeping. As a wedding gift, his em- 
ployers advanced his salary to two thousand 
dollars a year, which continued for five years. 
During this time Ernest had an opportunity 
of learning how to sympathize with the host 
of hard-working, honorable and self-denying 
men who, with a moderate income, assume 
the responsible duties of matrimony, bring up 
a family of children, and provide for their 
material and spiritual welfare. 

At the end of five years the company raised 
Ernest’s salary to three thousand dollars, so 
that, at the end of ten years, by being eco- 
nomical and cautiously investing in railroad 
stocks, Ernest accumulated enough money to 
buy a few acres of land on the Hudson river, 
where he built a comfortable house, which 
( 253 ) 


254 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 


his wife named “The Home of the Knicker- 
bocker.” 

Here Ernest and Eleanore, with their two 
children, little Eleanore and Aramintha, who 
was named after her maternal grandmother, 
but whom little Eleanore euphemeously named 
Minnie, and Mr. and Mrs. Chase, continued 
to live peacefully and happily. 

Mr. Chase lost his fortune experimenting 
how to obtain fuel and light from water, and 
Mrs. Chase for some time ceased mourning 
for her lost Albert Rosenbusch, who devel- 
oped into a professional gambler, and was 
finally killed in a house of questionable char- 
acter. 

Eleanore proved herself an excellent house- 
keeper, and often surprised her husband with 
her skill in cooking. She continued in her 
love for music, and Ernest never fully appre- 
ciated the beauty of her voice until he heard 
her sing lullabies to little Eleanore, and later 
on, when she played the “Racket,” to which 
his two little girls danced, and comparing it 
to the classical compositions, which his wife 
still delighted in playing, Beethoven’s cele- 
brated Moonlight Sonata now struck Ernest 


MUSICAL CROTCHETS. 255 

as a very ordinary, doleful, dreary and insipid 
piece of music. 

Theodore Snap continued to prosper, and 
attained one of the highest offices within the 
gift of the government. 

Alexander Wildwood, the frigid, intellect- 
ual pessimist and woman-hater, became en- 
amored with a Chicago Fantine, whom he 
married, and then went to France. 

Romeo Hopsing went to Brazil, South 
America, where he bought a coffee plantation, 
and became immensely wealthy. He never 
married, and before he died willed his pos- 
sessions to his indigent brother with a family 
of thirteen children. 

Paul Beauchamp went to Silver Spring, 
Florida, where he engaged in the orange- 
growing business, and where he was enabled 
to indulge his love for flowers to his heart’s 
content. During the first year little Amalie, 
at a children’s party, had a fall, which devel- 
oped into brain fever and ended her happy 
young life. This so preyed upon Mrs. Beau- 
champ that she became afflicted with con- 
sumption, and a few years later followed 
Amalievtb her eternal rest. Paul, in his be- 


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256 

reaved and solitary state, became deeply 
interested in the following article, which he 
happened to see in a southern paper : 

INDIA’S MARBLE DREAM. 

Here we are at the objective point of our journey, at 
Agra, the city of that fascinating dream in marble, the beau- 
tiful Taj Mahal, the peerless tomb erected by the Emperor 
Shah Jehan to show his lasting love and to provide an ap- 
propriate resting-place for the fair body of that wife whose 
graces of body and mind were far above the average ot her 
sex. Little did he foresee that two hundred and fifty years 
after his death this monument to a pure, sweet woman would 
still remain the most beautiful piece of architecture in the 
world. 

Passing through an arched entrance, we find ourselves 
in a large quadrangle, on one side of which is a superb, 
massive gateway of red sandstone, which forms the entrance 
to the Taj garden. The gateway is inlaid with ornaments 
and with inscriptions in marble, and is sufficiently stately 
and handsome to form a fitting tomb for any monarch. One 
of the beautiful inscriptions in front ends with an invitation 
to the pure in heart to enter this garden of paradise. Pass- 
ing through this arched gateway, we get our first view of 
the Taj through a beautiful long avenue of fountains, mar- 
ble pavements and tropical trees, fruits and flowers. 

Down this avenue are two narrow lakes in line, sep- 
arated by a wide marble terrace, and down which sparkle 
a long row of fountains, each with a single slender jet. On 
each side of these miniature lakes is a wide walk of white 
marble, bordered by rows of cypress trees and a luxuriant 
growth of tropical fruits and flowers. At the end of this 


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l)eaatiful lane, on a high marble terrace, between four deli- 
cate and stately towers, rises a gleaming milk-white mass, 
surrounded by a majestic loftily-curving marble dome. 

From the marble terrace, about half - way down the 
avenue, one first gets a full view of the entire building, and 
astonishment, combined with admiration, kept me there 
some time. The building was there, but I could not realize 
that such a structure was real — could be the work of human 
hands ; but I did realize what is meant by an expression 
frequently applied to the Taj — ‘‘A peaceful dream in marble.” 

The Taj garden is a third of a mile in length by one- 
half that distance in breadth, its lower part having been 
built up straight from the bank of the Jumna river. At the 
river end, and on a level with the garden, is a rectangular 
court-yard, running down to the river wall for a distance of 
over three hundred and fifty feet, and flagged with red 
sandstone. Built up in the middle of this is a level terrace 
of white marble, raised between twenty-five and thirty feet 
above the level of the garden, and in the form of a perfect 
square, with an edge of over three hundred feet. Rising 
from each corner of this square is a stately white marble 
tower, having neat balconies at various heights, and a deli- 
cate open pavillion on the top. 

The Taj, which is in the center of this terrace, takes 
up a space of one hundred and eighty-six feet square, with 
the four corners facing the towers, cut off so as to make four 
wide faces and four narrow corners. Crowning the middle 
of the flat roof is a snow-white dome, very high and of per- 
fect proportions, from which springs a very long gilded 
spike, having a star and crescent at its end. Four smaller 
domes surround this large one, and marble pillars rise from 
each sharp edge, which project from the roof.. Set in each 

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258 


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wide face is a large, deep, dome-shaped arch, elaborately 
carved, and containing over it inscriptions in inlaid black 
marble, Persian characters. On each side of these, and on 
each narrow face, are two smaller but similar deep arches, one 
above the other. All this outside is simple, but grand-look- 
ing. Passing through an open doorway, which was origi- 
nally closed by two doors of solid silver, we enter the cham- 
ber of the dead sultana and her imperial lover, and are at 
once struck with its wonderful mass of decoration. The 
panels of the walls and all the columns are beautifully and 
delicately inlaid with mother-of-pearl, blood-stone, coral, 
jasper, turquoise, lapis-lazuli, and other handsome stones, 
shaped to represent leaves and flowers. The ornamentation 
is apportioned to all parts of the resting-place of the dead 
with such judgment as to make one perfect whole. In the 
middle of this apartment, directly under the main dome, is 
a many-sided high screen of most delicately perforated mar- 
ble, with an upper molding of inlaid mosaics, similar to 
those on the walls and columns. 

In the middle of the space inclosed by this screen is a 
marble sarcophagus, inlaid all over, and containing inscrip- 
tions to the effect that it is the last resting-place of “the 
exalted one of the palace,” and that “God alone is powerful.” 
To one side of this is the tomb of her lord and lover, which, 
because he was a man, is a little larger and higher. We 
are told that Shah Jehan intended to build himself a larger 
and more magnificent tomb directly across the river, and to 
connect the two by a marble bridge ; but I very much 
doubt if he ever had any desire to be laid away from his one 
love. If so, it could only have been a matter of vanity, and 
a kind fate stepped in and decreed that he should sleep 
beside the wife whose virtues he had immortalized. 


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259 


The marble of the Taj, the inlayings and carvings, and 
all the ornamentations, look as fresh and as new as though 
they had been put together but yesterday, and it seems 
likely that they will preserve their freshness for thousands 
of years to come. The material and colon — to which I 
really believe the simple, ethereal beauty of the Taj is due — 
are just adapted to this peculiar climate, with its perfectly 
clear skies and hot, dry atmosphere. With bleak wintry 
skies or a different atmosphere, the entire place would un- 
doubtedly lose much of its dreamy beauty. 

Paul now conceived the idea of paying a 
tribute to the memory of his wife. He ad- 
mired the love and devotion which Jehan en- 
tertained for the pure, sweet woman who had 
preceded him, but after all, thought Paul, 
marble and granite were lifeless substances to 
which he felt in no way related. He there- 
fore constructed a miniature Taj Mahal from 
Florida pines, which he decorated with an 
endless variety of tropical plants and flowers. 
Paul lived for many years happily near the 
tomb of his loved ones. Were they not pres- 
ent and continuing their existence in the fra- 
grant mignonette and lily of the valley? Did 
they not breathe the same ether which ani- 
mated him? Would he not some day be again 
united with them in “Nirvana ” as one? 





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